A Touch of Fear
by Sammi Faye
Summary: Claire Devine lived with her abusive aunt ever since her parents died when she was 4. Now 14, she ran away to live with her uncle Burt Hummel and his family. Will Claire find sanctuary in Lima, or will that touch of fear follow her wherever she goes? ***I do not own Glee. I wish I was on the show, though. But I don't think I'll ever own it.***
1. Chapter 1: Kurt's Cousin

*ring ring*

"Hello?" A sleepy Kurt Hummel was awoken by the phone on the desk near his bed. He rubbed his eyes as the caller on the other line began to speak.

"Um, does Mrs. Hummel live here?" the voice softly spoke. It sounded like a teenage girl, but her voice was so quiet that it made the caller sound younger than she probably was.

"No, she's dead. This is her son." Kurt was used to saying that by now, since his mom had died almost 9 years before.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, I must have the wrong number. The address book said Burt Hummel, but I was hoping to speak to-"

"This is Burt's son. May I help you with anything?" He felt bad now, the girl sounded sad and afraid. He genuinely wanted to help this girl, but he didn't know how to. "Do you want to speak with my dad?"

"Yes, please."

Kurt picked up the phone and walked up the stairs to find the rest of his family in the kitchen. Finn, his stepbrother, seemed like a zombie while trying to pour milk into his cereal. His stepmother, Carole, was busily trying to make pancakes for the rest of the family. Kurt's eyes scrolled around the kitchen until he found his father, who was reading the newspaper at the kitchen table.

"Dad, phone's for you." Kurt said as he handed the phone to his father. Kurt, being the curious teenager that he was and wondering who the girl was, decided to grab a banana and eavesdrop while his dad talked on the phone. Usually, no one exciting called for Burt. The phone was usually being held hostage by Finn, who could talk for hours on end with his friends. Kurt, on the other hand, would much rather go out with friends than talk over the phone.

"Hi, this is Burt Hummel… Yep, I know her…" There was a big pause in his voice. Kurt tried to listen to the voice on the other end, but all he could hear was soft mumbles. When Burt realized that Kurt was listening, he stood up and walked into the living room.

"Really? But didn't she… Could you put her on the phone please?" Another pause. This phone call was getting awfully suspicious to Kurt. Who was this girl? His thoughts stopped when his dad's voice began again.

"Hi, this is Burt Hummel. Is this Marissa? Yes… Yes… Well, no one had ever told me about this before. I see. We'd be happy to, but- Hello? I can't believe she hung up on me!" He walked back into the kitchen and handed Kurt the phone. Kurt stood up and began to walk back toward his bedroom while Burt and Carole began to talk in the living room.

"So she just called you, out of the blue?"

"Yes, and I couldn't even put a word in. But I couldn't say no. The kid has had such a hard life…"

Kurt ran downstairs to put the phone away. Who were they talking about? Were they talking about Kurt? His life hadn't been perfect, with his mother's death and being bullied because of his sexuality. Or maybe Finn, who never knew his dad. But don't the recent phone books say Burt and Carole Hummel, and not mention Kurt's mom? The whole situation was confusing, but more and more stories were popping up in Kurt's mind.

He ran back upstairs, hoping to find out more about the mysterious phone call, only to find Finn and Carole sitting on the couch in the living room.

"Sit down, Kurt. I have something important that I need to say."

"Ooh, does this have to do with the phone call?" Kurt eagerly exclaimed. But he soon realized that by his father's stern face, this wasn't a time to joke around. He took a seat next to Carole on the edge of the couch.

"I just got a call from Kurt's aunt. His aunt Marissa." Burt began to sit down in an old chair that once belonged to Finn's father.

Kurt was full of confusion, yet again. "I have an aunt Marissa? Does she live around here?"

Burt seemed to ignore Kurt's questions. "I tried to not talk about her, or any of Kurt's mom's siblings, but-"

"Mom had a family that you never told me about? Why would you do that?" Kurt angrily shouted.

"Shhhh," Carole said. "Let your dad talk."

"Yes, Kurt, your mom has two sisters. One of them, Ashlyn, has a daughter named Claire. When she and her husband died in a car accident, Claire got placed in Marissa's care."

Kurt was captured in the moment. Was the voice on the phone Claire? How old was she? Kurt loved younger kids. Was she ten? Eleven? So many questions were running through his mind. What does she look like? Is she like Kurt, or maybe like Finn? Did she like to sing? Was she a Wicked fan? Or maybe… was she a better singer than Kurt?

Finn broke Kurt's train of thought. "And why are you telling us this?"

"She's been living with Marissa for years now. Maybe 8 or 9 years, I think. But Marissa has been a horrible guardian to her. Marissa is severely bipolar. Did you know that she has been abusing Claire for all of those years?"

"Oh, poor dear." Carole said, placing her hand on her heart. This made Kurt a bit worried. He had an abusive aunt who would hurt a child? If Claire had been living with her for around 9 years, then she must have moved in with Marissa when she was, what, two? Three?

"This Claire girl is pretty smart," Burt continued, "She looked up our name in Marissa's old contacts list, and then used the names to find our phone number. She's so desperate to get out of that house. So I invited her to live with us."

Carole's face lit up. "It's about time that we have another girl in the house! When is she coming?"

"She wants to come as soon as she can. She could catch a plane next week. Is this okay with all of you?"

"Of course!" Everyone said in what sounded like a chorus.

"Wait, she's going on a plane?" Finn asked. "How does she have the money for a plane?"

"I'm not sure." Burt said. "Maybe she saved the money. Maybe Marissa gave it to her. All I know is that she needs to get away. One more thing, I know that you probably want to tell your friends about her, but don't say too many details about her past. She'll probably want to do that herself."

Kurt was so excited. He couldn't wait to go to school and tell his friend's about his cousin. He sprinted to his room to check his laptop one last time before he left.

Facebook. He thought as he typed. He didn't have any new notifications, which he found weird. No messages from Mercedes or Rachel? Now THAT is something that doesn't happen every day.

Kurt's eyes scrolled from the notification area to the search bar. Hmmmm, he thought. He began to type:

C-L-A-I-R-E H-U-M-M-E-L.

That was his dad's last name, not his mom's. It occurred to him that not only did he know nothing about Claire, but he really knows nothing about his mom's side of the family at all.


	2. Chapter 2: More Information

**Did you all miss me? When is Kurt going to meet Claire? Will they be friends? How will Claire get away from her aunt? SO MANY QUESTIONS! Hopefully this chapter will open some of those questions!**

**One more thing: I just wanted to remind everyone something that I forgot to post before. This story takes place during Season 3, but it is not canon. Some things are the same (for example: the seniors are graduating, Blaine transferred to McKinley, etc.), but others are not exact from the show (different songs and storylines). I try to use songs that were not already on the show, but I just wanted to clarify this before people start saying "this didn't happen this way!" **

***I do not own Glee. If I did, there would be way more Klaine scenes and less Finchel…***

**-LINE BREAK-**

"Mercedes! You will never guess what my Dad told me this morning!" Kurt excitingly shouted toward his best friend. He practically ran through the hallway, trying his best not to knock into anybody. Kurt couldn't wait to tell Mercedes about Claire. It's not like his dad ever told him that he couldn't tell just a _few_ people. They _were _going to meet Claire, anyways.

"Let me guess. Did you get tickets to a Broadway musical?" Mercedes sleepily replied. Although Kurt and Mercedes are best friends, they can be complete opposites at times. While Kurt is wide awake in the mornings, Mercedes needs a few hours to totally wake up. Maybe it's something in the skin products that he uses, but Kurt never seems to be tired. Even on school field trips, where he had to be at school at 5:30 AM, Kurt was talking as if he had been up for hours. Mercedes, on the other hand, needed much more time, and caffeine, to even get out of bed.

"I wish… But no." He said. "It turns out that I have a cousin who I never met before! And she's coming to live with me!"

"Really? What's her name?" Despite getting less than the desired amount of sleep the previous night, thanks to a group Facebook chat with Brittany and Tina, this news seemed to wake the tired girl. It's not very often when something exciting happens at McKinley, besides the occasional pregnancy scare.

"Claire. I don't know her last name, though. I think she's around twelve, which stinks because she wouldn't be at school with us. All I know is that she's been living with an abusive aunt that I've never heard of for about 9 years. I don't know much about her, though. She's hopefully coming next week!" Kurt's eyes were sparkling as he jumped up and down like a kid in a candy store.

"Whoa, I'm glad that a kid like that will have you to look up to. You need to make sure that you don't get into her business too much. It's going to be a big change for her, and you, and everyone."

"I keep wondering what she'll be like. If she likes to sing, maybe we could get her to join Glee club when she's in high school. And she can come with you and me and Blaine…" His voice trailed off into the distance.

"Kurt?" Mercedes could read the worried look in Kurt's eyes.

"What if she doesn't accept Blaine and me? I mean, with an aunt like that…"

"She'll love you. It's hard not to love you, Kurt."

Right at that moment, a cold liquid splashed on Kurt's face. A grape Slushee. It took him a few seconds to realize what happened, and a few more to get any words out of his mouth.

"Screw you, Karofsky!" He yelled after the well-known school bully, Dave Karofsky. After Kurt wiped the green ice off of his face, he rushed into the nearest bathroom, leaving Mercedes alone in the hallway.

What if Claire really was against gay people? That would be horrible. But for Kurt's sake, until he met Claire, Mercedes decided to assume that Claire was nice, sweet, and everything that Kurt ever wanted for the little sister that he never had.

Mercedes heard a familiar ringtone from the ground. She picked up a phone, which turned out to be Kurt's. A new message from his Carole. Mercedes opened the message.

"Your dad just called Claire. Her last name is Devine, she's 14 and in the 9th grade. We're registering her at McKinley in a bit. I knew you were wondering. Love, Carole."

She picked up Kurt's books, along with her own, and began to walk toward her first class.

-LINE BREAK-

"Memories." Mr. Schuester said as he underlined the word of the week on his whiteboard. It was finally time for Glee club rehearsal, and Kurt couldn't wait to tell everyone about Claire. "Look deep into your mind and try to remember the first thing in your life that you can remember in detail."

Noah, everyone called him "Puck", was the first to raise his hand. "I remember my first day of Hebrew school. It sucked. So I never went back."

"My dad used to take my sister and I to baseball games." Quinn, the head cheerleader, spoke out. There was a bit of a quiver in her voice. When she got pregnant in 10th grade, her dad disowned her and reminded her of the baseball games right before he told her that she has 30 minutes to leave. It turned out, her father was having an affair, and Quinn moved back with her mother at the end of the year.

"My first talent show was when I was little. I won first place." Rachel announced. Rachel would find any moment to brag about her theater experience, but she was really talented.

Mercedes scribbled on a scrap piece of paper and handed it to Kurt discreetly. Kurt slowly unfolded it, trying not to be caught for passing notes.

_I checked your new messages after you got slushied. Carole texted you. Her name is Claire Devine and she's 14. She should join glee club!_

"In greatest detail, I remember my mom's funeral." Kurt said, stuffing the note into his binder. "But there's something that I wanted to ask you guys." He stood up and walked over to Mr. Schuster.

"Sure, Kurt. Who is it?" Mr. Schue asked.

"I have a cousin who I've never met before, and she's coming to live at my house to get away from the aunt that she lives with now." Kurt could see the faces of the other Glee club members slowly turn into a face of sympathy. "She's been living with this aunt for 9 years now, and she never really knew her real parents. I wanted to ask her if she wanted to join Glee club."

"Kurt, your dad told us not to tell anyone!" Finn said.

"This is fine, I'm just making sure that we're all okay with her joining the club."

"Of course, Kurt. We need more members. How old is your cousin?"

"Claire is 14, so she's in 9th grade. Even if she doesn't join Glee, can you all be nice to her and show her around? She's had a pretty tough life." All of the other club members nodded in silence.

As Kurt sat back down, people were whispering questions towards him. What was she like? Most importantly, would she want to join Glee?

Glee club was pretty much social suicide at McKinley High, yet the club was full of cheerleaders and football players. Even though the club has the 12 members it needed to compete with other schools, more voices would make the club more powerful. Not to mention that most of the club was graduating at the end of the year. It would be good to have someone carry over to the next year.

Rachel, the club's female lead singer, stood up. "I think that we should sing something to convince her to join. I'm thinking of-"

"Rachel, I think it would be we shouldn't think of anything too big yet." Mr. Schue interrupted, as usual. Rachel sat down, slightly mumbling something to herself. Kurt didn't mind that Rachel wanted the solo, since that is usually what she always wants. But Kurt agreed with Mr. Schuester. They didn't want to scare Claire away.

He couldn't wait to go online tonight and search for Claire. Her name just sounded sweet, and Kurt couldn't believe how someone whose name sounded like that could ever be sad. Claire Devine, he thought. He was related to Claire Devine. Was that his mother's maiden name? Kurt wasn't quite sure, but if it was, his name could be Kurt Devine. It just didn't have the same feeling to it.

Kurt sighed. He hadn't even met her yet, but how could he miss out on Claire's childhood?

**-LINE BREAK-**

**I just had to add in the Slushee and the whiteboard word. I've always loved the whiteboard words. I know that this chapter is kind of short too, I'm just never good at beginnings. Especially because I had the idea for this story about 3 months before I started writing. Right now, I'm writing chapter 16, but adding in bits into the other chapters. Thanks in advance for reviews! Have a wonderful night!**


	3. Chapter 3: Kurt's Search for Claire

**Hello everyone! So I have some things to say before I start the chapter. Don't worry, you're not in trouble...**

**First, I decided on a schedule. I'm going to try to add a new chapter every 6 days, maybe 7 days. Although I am writing Chapter 17 as we speak, I don't want to post all of the chapters at once and then make you all wait until I write more. **

**Speaking of writing more, I just wanted to say that I have been working on the story _and_ I've been working on a character website. You can find the site on my profile. The only pages that are posted right now are the ones for ATOF, since that's been my main story for a while. **

**Also, I have a somewhat funny story/question for you. You see, on Monday night, my washing machine started leaking, and since my bedroom is right next to it, all 18 gallons of water drifted across the tile floor and into my room. So the water people put these giant fans all in the basement, and in my room. And when I say 'fans', I mean those fans that they use to inflate bounce houses at little kids' birthday parties. So, with those on full blast, the basement is really loud. I've been using this to my advantage and singing showtunes at the top of my lungs (which, yes, I do normally, but lately my allergies have been messing up my voice and I sound horrible, so I'm using the fans to mask that). Why did I tell you this? If you have any song requests or ideas, feel free to add it to a review! No promises that I will use it, but I realized that my first few chapters don't have many songs, and I'm running out of songs on my ATOF Song List. Also, I want to let you have an input in the story =) My Claire is Your Claire!**

**Anyway, thanks for reading this much so far. Any and all reviews are greatly appreciated. Be sure to check out the website (send me a message if you are cyber-impaired and need help getting around the site or have any questions!). Be sure to tell people about ATOF and I hope you enjoy this chapter!**

* * *

"Hey, can I come over?" Kurt heard a very familiar voice over the phone. Kurt smiled into his cell phone, just hearing that voice made him smile. He got into his car, which was parked in the school parking lot, and put his bag down on the passenger seat.

"Of course you can, Blaine. You can come over without asking me if you want to. You're basically family to us." Kurt blushed, thankful that Blaine couldn't see him. He could sense that Blaine was smiling on the other side of the conversation.

"Thanks. I'll drive over there soon."

"Wait. I have a favor I need to ask you. I'm trying to find someone online, and I might need your help."

"Finding someone online? Kurt, you better not try to find my old YouTube channel."

"What YouTube channel?" Kurt asked playfully, making a mental note of the future blackmail. "I don't know what you're talking about. Anyway, it's a long story…"

After telling Blaine about the information about Claire that Kurt didn't share in Glee club, Blaine had almost no response.

"Of course I'll help you Kurt. When is she coming to your house?"

"Next week. But I want to talk to her beforehand."

"Sure. I'll be there as soon as I can."

Kurt hit the END button on his phone, and began to drive home.

* * *

"Kurt, we should make a list of what we know about Claire so far. Narrow down our search." Blaine said while lying across Kurt's bed. Blaine loved being in Kurt's room, it was so clean compared to his room. Kurt took his laptop off of his desk and fell onto the bed next to his boyfriend.

As his computer started up, he hid the screen as he typed in his password: blaineanderson143

"I know her name, Claire Devine." Kurt said as he sat up and opened the internet and passed his laptop to Blaine. "She's 14 years old. And my dad told me that Marissa lives in Boston, Massachusetts."

Blaine began to type into the Google search bar. "Claire Devine."

Kurt moved to be closer to Blaine. "Yes?" Blaine asked, half-laughing.

"I couldn't see the screen!" Kurt exclaimed.

"Yeah, of course that's the reason."

A list of links showed on the screen. The first link was a Facebook profile, listed as Claire Elizabeth Devine.

"Ooh, click that one!" Kurt said, pointing at the screen.

A slightly-Photoshopped picture showed a teenage girl singing on stage, with the lyrics from Seasons of Love was written across the picture. "That's her," Kurt said. "She has the looks, and obviously the musical background. She doesn't have many friends on here. Wait… is that a link to her blog?" Kurt held Blaine's hand and dragged it across the mouse to the link. As the page loaded, Kurt wouldn't let go of Blaine's hand.

Kurt leaned over and put his head on Blaine's shoulder. "Thanks." He said.

"Thanks for what? We haven't found anything about her yet."

"I know, but… thanks for being here. For always being here for me. I hope that Claire likes you as much as I do, since she'll be living here."

Blaine leaned over and gave Kurt a quick kiss. He continued to scroll down the page. "She put her cell phone number online!"

"What?" Kurt said excitingly. Blaine hoped that Claire would be exactly how Kurt imagined her to be. Kurt was so excited and mesmerized by Claire's blog, as if he wanted to know everything about her. Most importantly, Blaine thought, he hoped that Claire would accept that Kurt was gay, and dating. Blaine knew from experience that some family members wouldn't be as nice as Burt was to Kurt, including Blaine's own dad.

As Blaine's thoughts brought him back to reality, he realized that Kurt was already in the middle of dialing Claire's phone number.

"Wait." Blaine said. "What if she doesn't answer? What are you going to say?"

Kurt gave a slight laugh. "She obviously knows my dad, and we already have talked on the phone before."

"Yes, but it's different…" Nothing could convince Kurt not to make the phone call. By the time that Blaine finished his sentence, he was interrupted by the Kurt's speakerphone.

"Hello?" the girl on the other line answered.

"Hi, it's Kurt Hummel." A pause. "Burt Hummel's son."

"Oh, hi Kurt. How did you get my number?"

"You posted it on your blog. Not to sound creepy, but I kind of Googled you."

"Well, I searched you too, so I guess that we're equal! I saw you sing at a show choir competition. You were singing Candles… I think it's by Hey Monday, or something like that. You were really good."

"Thanks. I was wondering, when are you coming? I told my friends in Glee club about you, and they really want to meet you."

"You're in Glee club? You're lucky, my school didn't have anything to do with the arts. And my flight is a week from Saturday. Your dad is picking me up when from the bus stop… around 5 or something."

"You should totally join Glee club! It would be so much fun, you'll love it! They're all super nice. Are you going to school the next Monday?"

"I'm not sure. But when I do go, I'll definitely ask if I can audition. Well, I have to finish packing, so see you tomorrow!"

"Bye, Claire!" Kurt said as he hung up the phone. He opened his online calendar and wrote _Saturday, November 19__th__, Claire comes!_

"BYE, CLAIRE!" Blaine yelled from the bed, not knowing that Kurt had already hung up. Kurt gave a look, one of those "You goofball" looks. Kurt put his cell phone on a nearby table and climbed back onto the bed.

"She's not coming for over a _week! _I have to wait _8 _days, Blaine!" Kurt sighed. "Want to go get something to eat? Dad's working late, so we can go out somewhere if you want."

"Whatever you want, love." Blaine said, snuggling with his boyfriend. "As long as you're paying."

* * *

**I know I keep saying this, but I promise that the chapters get longer... Some of the later chapters are about 10 pages in Word. As I said, thank you for any and all reviews! Next update is scheduled for May 2nd, so be sure to check back next week! (I can't believe it's almost May!) Bye!**


	4. Chapter 4: Claire?

Claire looked around the crowded bus stop. Burt had called her earlier and told her exactly where to meet him, and that Kurt had come along as well. She took her backpack and small luggage bag full of clothes and tried to squeeze herself through the crowd. What if she couldn't find them? It was like trying to find someone in the food court of the Prudential Center. It seemed almost impossible.

"Claire!" She heard a voice yell over the noisy pandemonium of the other passengers and their families. She turned and saw Kurt and his dad waving and motioning for her to come over.

She took a big breath in and began to walk towards her new family. Although she didn't want to admit it, she was scared. She was more than scared. Claire had never been loved, by friends or family. She felt like she was an outsider, an intruder, and was afraid that she wouldn't fit in. The thing she was most scared about was the new school. Kurt and his stepbrother were 3 years older than her, so she probably wouldn't be in any of their classes. How could someone like her make new friends when she had never had a real friend before?

"Claire, let me take these for you." Kurt said as he reached for her bags. She could tell by his expression that he was surprised at how lightly she packed. Little did he know that she packed as much as she had. Kurt continued talking, with words flying out of his mouth a mile a minute. "So, just for now, we have to share a room, but my dad said that he can turn one of the spare rooms into a bedroom if you want. I still can't get over the fact that you're really here! I can't wait for you to join the New Directions. We need to start working on an audition song. Did you have-"

"Kurt," his dad said. "Let the girl unpack before you start throwing school into the mix."

"Sorry, I'm just so excited" Kurt excitingly replied to his father.

Soon, the trio reached Burt's car. Claire quietly slid into the back seat next to Kurt. She didn't know what to say or ask, so she let Kurt do all of the talking. By now, she had learned that talking is something that Kurt does well. The short car ride home went by pretty fast. When they arrived at the Hummel's house, Claire was surprised how big it seemed compared to her old house. She shuddered at the memories.

The new girl was greeted at the door with a hug from Kurt's stepmother, Carole. Kurt led Claire into the basement/bedroom, where they had set up a second bed just for her.

"So…" Kurt said. "Carole will probably ask you a million questions. She was almost as excited as I was when I heard that you were coming. I can't wait for you to start school! You have to meet my friends in Glee club. I'm probably talking too much. That's what my dad says. And Finn. Have you met Finn? You have so many people to meet! You can see that I don't have that big of a family, since I'm so excited about you being here. What's your favorite musical? I like Wicked. Do you like Wicked?"

It took Claire a second to figure out everything that Kurt had told her. He might as well given her a quiz on the conversation.

"I like Wicked too. And Rent. I'm a huge Idina Menzel fan." She said, her calm, quiet voice complementing Kurt's racing run-ons.

"Kurt! Claire! Dinner's ready!" Carole said from the top of the stairs. Claire had concluded that, excluding Kurt, Carole was probably the second-most excited about having a new girl in the family. And Claire was okay with that. She could barely remember any loving mother figure in her life. While most girls her age had mothers who cooked dinner, helped with homework, and supported their daughters, Claire never had anything like it. As Kurt and Claire quickly climbed the stairs, Claire heard Kurt whispering to himself.

"She likes Wicked too! How could I have not met her before?"

The dinner conversation mostly consisted of Carole and Burt asking Claire questions about Boston, Marissa, and basically everything about her life so far. She talked mostly about all of the big buildings that she could see from outside of her house, the different schools and colleges in the area, which subway line is the busiest (the Green line) and which is the cleanest (the Red line, although depending on who else is in the car).

"I'm really excited that McKinley has an Art program. My old school barely had paper and pencils, not to mention extracurriculars." Claire said after a quick silence of chewing. "Kurt told me all about Glee Club. I'm going to audition as soon as I can. I've always loved singing, even though I never really got the chance to." It was true. Claire's parents had left lots of old CDs that Claire secretly listened to. She would dance around at midnight when, from the windowless basement of the house where Claire had spent most of her days, it seemed like the entire city was asleep. Aside from the frequent sounds of emergency vehicles and the shouts of people in the streets, the basement provided the silence and serenity that Claire needed. The basement was almost soundproof, so she could sing as loud as she wanted without disturbing anyone, unless they were right outside of the wooden door. The few times that she did sing in front of others, however, were directly followed by people telling her how horrible she was. Then again, "people" was usually just Marissa.

"Finn is in Glee too!" Carole said as she put down her fork. "Both boys really like the club. And Mr. Schuester is a great director."

"Finn and Rachel get most of the leads." Kurt interjected. After a confused look from Claire, he added "Rachel is his girlfriend."

Kurt was surprised that Claire didn't ask if he had a girlfriend. Or a boyfriend, for that matter. Kurt always thought that after a few hours, or a look in his closet, Claire would assume that he was flamboyantly gay, but maybe Claire was just being polite.

"This is really good." Claire commented on Carole's spaghetti. To most people, spaghetti would seem like such an ordinary food, but Claire always had to make her own meals. Most of the food that she knew how to make was either from a box or can, unlike the fresh sauce that Carole had ladled onto the plates. "I barely know how to cook. Marissa never taught me anything."

Kurt took a mental note that Claire called his aunt by Marissa – not aunt, not mom, just her name. He had already known that Claire didn't like living with Marissa, since she had practically ran away.

"Claire, do you know how to make brownies?" Carole asked as she began to clear the table.

"Not really. I could probably read a box, but I don't remember the last time I've made them." Claire got up to help with the dishes, but Carole swiftly took the plates from her, telling her to sit down.

"I could teach her!" Kurt said. "I make amazing brownies. Finn, you could help too. It's simple enough, the recipes are already Finn-proof."

"Hey, I'm not _that_ bad at cooking…" Finn replied with a smile.

"Don't worry," Claire said. "We'll both learn how to not make a huge, chocolaty mess. Although that sounds good…"

"What's the difference between vegetable oil and olive oil?" a clueless Finn said as he looked through a cabinet.

Kurt's reply was muffled through the sounds of pots and pans being moved. "Get the vegetable oil. Claire, can you get 2 eggs from the fridge?"

Kurt realized that Claire had a good skill at measuring, and was sure to remember that the next time that he was going to bake a cake for someone's birthday. He couldn't help but notice Claire's soft smile. Occasionally, her smile would brighten as she laughed at Finn's latest mistake, but it otherwise seemed that she had grown accustom to a fake smile. No, not fake. But that smile that you make when you are sad on the inside. Kurt understood why, she had just moved to a new house, and she was never used to people being nice to her. Kurt had always thought that it was hard having only 1 living parent, but it was even harder not being with either, and being forced to live with someone who made Claire's life miserable. How was Kurt even related to this Marissa? Claire was such a sweet girl, and he already knew that she was the type of person who could always make other people feel better. But that hiding smile just got him thinking.

As Kurt left to check his laptop downstairs, Finn and Claire were told to watch the brownies. Instead of sitting at the table, like most teenagers would, Finn and Claire decided to sit directly in front of the closed stove.

"So…" Finn said, awkwardly. This was his first time alone with Claire, and he didn't know what to say to her. He never had a sister, and didn't know how to talk to Claire. He started talking before his mind could even understand what he was saying. "If you ever need someone to talk to, you can always come to me. Kurt will probably tell you that, too, since you're related to him, but… yeah. I'll be, like, the older brother you never had."

"Thanks." Claire said as she gave Finn a hug. Both of them knew that the other wasn't expecting it, but Finn was already so nice to her. Everyone in the family was. If Claire had known that the Hummels and Hudsons would be so nice and caring, she would have come years ago.

Kurt came back soon after, just in time to take the brownies out of the oven.

"Claire! I think that we should start working on your audition for Glee club. Basically everyone gets in, so it's not really an audition, but it's just to show us where your vocal range is." Kurt said, holding a book of Broadway musical sheet music.

"Only one person hasn't gotten in," Finn said "And I can bet you anything that you are better than her."

"Sugar Motta was probably the worst singer that I've ever heard." Kurt laughed as he got up to check if the brownies had cooled. They were, and Claire had celebrated her first night with her new family over brownies and a glass of milk. Not her _new_ family. Carole, Kurt, Finn, and Burt were her _real_ family.

Claire was going to share a room with Kurt for the time being, with a half-wall separating Kurt's basement into two parts. Claire felt bad taking some of Kurt's space, but even just having half of Kurt's basement was at least bigger than her old room. Claire quickly fell asleep, still tired from the long plane ride and the time zone change. Kurt, on the other hand, was still wide awake.

Once he realized that Claire was asleep, he stared at the ceiling as he slowly fell backward with his head landing on the soft pillows. He plugged his headphones into his iPod and clicked the "Shuffle" button. As various songs played, he barely focused on the words or music. He just kept thinking about how he wished that he could have met Claire sooner, how he could have helped her in some way, how he could have been more of a cousin, a friend, and less of a stranger.

_Turn Around_

_Turn Around and fix your eye in my direction_

_So there is a connection_

_I can't speak_

_I can't make a sound to somehow capture your attention_

_I'm staring at perfection_

_Take a look at me so you can see_

_How beautiful you are_

By now, Claire was tossing and turning in her sleep while Kurt was silently sitting listening to Secondhand Serenade. Kurt desperately wanted to wake her up. Claire was crying now, whimpering short phrases like "Marissa, stop!" and "Don't hurt me." Kurt tried not to cry as well. He imagined himself in Claire's shoes… imagine him living with Marissa!

_I'm confident_

_But I can't pretend I wasn't terrified to meet you_

_I knew you could see right through me_

_I saw my life flash right before my very eyes_

_And I knew just what we'd turn into_

_I was hoping that you could see_

_Take a look at me so you can see_

Kurt had to admit, despite his iPod playing a love song, it really had to do with his current situation. He was nervous about meeting Claire. He could tell that Claire was nervous as well. They were still both strangers to their families: Kurt to his mother's and Claire to Kurt's. All Kurt could do was make sure that Claire got the best life that she could for the time that she was in Lima, and that someday, hopefully soon, Claire would open up to Kurt and tell him more about Boston.

_You call me a stranger_

_You say I'm a danger_

_But all these thoughts are leaving you tonight_

_I'm broke and abandoned_

_You are an angel_

_Making all my dreams come true tonight_

_You call me a stranger_

_You say I'm a danger_

_You call me a stranger..._

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__**I hope that this extra-long chapter was worth the wait! I've decided to shorten the wait in between chapters because even I couldn't wait until the next update! Most likely, I will update again in the next 4-5 days. Anyway, thank you in advance for any and all reviews! Please send this to your friends and ask them to review as well! You can also find me and A Touch of Fear on under the username "Sammi Faye" and under "Sammi_Faye" (note the underscore). You can also find extras for ATOF at .com. Finally, if you want a song to be featured in future chapters, tell me in the reviews! Thank you for reading, and see you in a few days for Chapter 5!**


	5. Chapter 5: Staying Up Late

**I forgot to mention this when I posted this: This is one of the more mature chapters. It is very violent (not the most violent chapter, but pretty close), and it involves Claire's flashbacks of her childhood, the death of her parents, and Marissa's abuse. I am not saying this as a spoiler, but as a warning to use discretion when reading. If you have a personal issue with one of these things involved with the flashbacks, feel free to skip past the parts that are in ***-***. Thank you!**

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By the time that Claire and Kurt had finally gotten ready for bed, it was well past 11. Claire had already put her things into drawers, and sat down on the soft, white comforter on the white-framed bed. Everything in Kurt's room was white, or light gray, and all so neat and organized. When Kurt was in the bathroom – for what seemed like forever, Claire thought – Claire quickly ran to the bottom drawer of her dresser. She blindly put her arm inside, and reached for a stuffed animal. It was a yellow duck that she slept with every night since she was a baby. The duck was given to her when she was a baby from her mother. The duck had a two medical bracelet around its neck – both her parent's. She had to hide it every day from Marissa, because Claire wasn't allowed to have stuffed animals. The duck was no longer soft, its fur and feathers had been torn from the constant pulling and tugging, and it didn't have the same feeling of polyester stuffing as it had years ago. There were white patches of cloth sewn on to prevent the stuffing from falling out, and the dark black thread showed stitches that kept memories of Claire's horrendous life with Marissa. But it was Claire's duckling. It may be an ugly duckling, as Claire was often compared to, but it made her feel safe and close to her parents.

"Claire?" She didn't realize that Kurt had been standing there. She quickly shoved the duck beneath her pillow. "What was that?"

"Nothing." Claire replied blankly. Kurt began to walk closer to her bed. He reached beneath her pillow as her heart started beating rapidly. She wasn't afraid of Kurt, or him finding her duck. Kurt was her friend, her family, and she trusted him. What she was afraid of was the flashbacks of Marissa reaching under Claire's pillow, with an intention to get the duck.

_*** Claire's heart as beating rapidly. Marissa seemed angry. Claire didn't know why, but when Claire opened the door one day in 4__th__ grade, she could tell that Marissa seemed angrier than usual._

_Marissa, who had been Claire's guardian for the past 5 years, had a face that would turn Medusa to stone. It was a mixture of anger and exhaustion, with a bit of age and confusion based on the lines on her forehead and between her eyes. Her looks were hard to describe. Her eyes were green-brown, but there was no definite area of either color. They were mashed together, as if someone had but the two colors into a blender just to see what the result would be. Her hair was the color of flaming honey, tangling at the shoulders and at the ends. In general, she looked much older than she really was. To Claire, she looked like a 60-year-old put into a 37-year-old's body. The difference is that Marissa was much stronger than any 60-year-old that Claire had ever met_

"_Auntie Marissa? Is something wrong?" Claire asked in her sweet, 9-year-old voice, her eyes glistening like the pond that was behind her old house, the house that her parents built. The pond was an off-blue, with a bit of brown showing through the bottom. Claire usually wasn't allowed to go to the pond on her own, since she lived there when she was in preschool, but sometimes, after rainy days, the pond would overflow into a puddle in the back of Claire's backyard. Her dad would sometimes lift her up so she could see over the wooded fence._

_Instead of answering, Marissa pushed the child out of her way, causing her to fall onto the cement floor, knocking her head into a low wooden shelf on her way down. She then proceeded to grab the stuffed duck, then still yellow with few stains, and grabbed it by the neck. _

"_What is this?" Marissa yelled at the girl, who was whimpering on the floor in the corner. She moved her dry, cold hand and realized that there was something else around the duck's neck. Two medical bracelets, with the names of Claire's parents. "Does this duck have a name?"_

_Claire took a second to recover from the fall. Still shocked, she was speechless, and she simply nodded. Not necessarily answering the question, but a nod of surrender. Obviously, Claire didn't want to be pushed around like the way that she was, but usually Marissa would shout something along the lines of "Are you listening to me?" or "Understand?", so Claire would nod. She hated when her aunt yelled at her, as most kids Claire's age would, so she thought that if she nodded now it would save her from the yelling later._

_Then the evil guardian held the duck by the neck, right in front of Claire's face. Marissa took her bare hands, still in a death grip, and began to rip at the duck's neck, with both the human and the stuffed animal staring into Claire's eyes. As Claire's eyes began to form small tears, Marissa threw the duck across the small room, detaching the medical bracelets and throwing the stuffing, which scattered across the room like icy hail during a storm._

"_Sometimes, Claire, I wish that you were dead like your parents and I never had to deal with you! Now clean this up." Marissa yelled. "It won't be the duck next time, I can promise you that. Understand?" Claire didn't know why her aunt was so angry, but she knew better than to disobey her aunt. She stared distantly at the pieces of her childhood, ripped and shattered on the cold, hard floor that she has recently pulled herself off of._

_The young girl tearfully picked up the pieces of her beloved duck, and removed a wooden board from the wall paneling. A sewing kit. And with pieces of an old sweater and black thread, Claire made the first patch on what would soon to be her one true friend. ***_

"Okay," Kurt said, bringing Claire back to the present. "If you don't want me to know, that's fine. I totally respect your privacy. And I totally trust you. And I think that it's better people things sooner than later. Speaking of which, my boyfriend Blaine comes over basically every day after school. I think you'll like him. Just wanted you know so you don't get worried about a random person in the house all the time." Kurt looked away awkwardly. He doesn't really just come out and say that he's gay to people, especially people that he had just met a few days prior; he lets his clothes and high vocal range do that for him. "Now that I think about it, we've needed some more girls around here."

"Do you have any pictures of Blaine? Wait, that's a stupid question. Of course you do. Just show me the pictures." Claire said. Kurt took out his phone and showed her a picture of them at their latest date. The picture of the two of them reminded Claire of the way that her parents used to be, hugging and cuddling, watching old Disney movies, and just being in love. They were the biggest influences in Claire's young life. She would watch Disney Princess movies with her parents – her favorite was Beauty and the Beast – and she saw her parents as a modern day prince and princess. "You two look so cute together. I love his hair."

"Me too. He moved to McKinley at the beginning of this year." Kurt said as he turned around to put his phone on the charger. He looked up and saw Claire reach beneath her pillow and pulled the old stuffed animal out. It took Kurt a minute to realize that it was a duck, since it was so worn out. The orange bill had faded so much that it was hard to tell when the orange ended and the yellow body began.

"My mom gave it to me. When I was a baby." Claire said softly, feeling the duck's wings. Kurt and Claire both knew what it was like to lose their mother. "But Marissa kept trying to rip it up, so I kind of had to sew patches of old clothes onto it. You can see I wasn't very good at it." She sort of laughed at the end, noticing the mistakes in the stitching.

"It looks fine, and really loved." Kurt replied, touching its beak. "Whose medical bracelets are those?"

"My parents." Claire said. She didn't sound like she was sad, but her voice went blank, an almost monotonous whisper. "They died about 10 years ago…"

_*** Claire was just in preschool then. She sat there, playing with the sand table, clumsily pouring the tiny grains into a blue funnel. It was barely past 11 in the morning, and the teachers were about to start reading a new story about numbers. But then the preschool's principal walked in and took one of the teachers aside. It looked like a serious conversation, but Claire ignored it as usual. Then the teacher, Michelle, walked over to Claire._

"_Claire, sweetie, can you come with me and Miss Donna?" She held out her hand._

"_But I'm playing with the sand!" Claire said, digging her hands into the pile that she had made. The tiny grains kept getting stuck underneath Claire's little fingernails, something that would soon emotionally scar her for the rest of her life._

"_Please, Claire?" The young teacher, somewhere in her late 20s, picked up the child and walked out of the room to the principal. Claire waved to her friends, Alicia and Eric, leaving them at the sand table. Michelle put Claire down once they were out of the room. And when Claire turned around to see her mother's sister, Marissa, the child's face was struck with terror. But in the eyes of the teachers, the child was sad and somehow knew what was going on._

_Donna tried to explain Claire's parent's accident to the child, but Claire wouldn't stop staring at Marissa, with her devilish smile and cold eyes. And then Claire heard the worse._

"_You'll be leaving school early today so you can see your parents and pack up your things from your house. And then you'll be living with Marissa."_

_Claire didn't know what to do. She couldn't stay with Marissa. Why couldn't she stay with her aunt Elizabeth and her husband Burt? They had a son a bit older than Claire. Why Marissa?_

_Out of instinct, Claire bolted out of the door and kept running. She didn't know why she ran, she just did it. Thinking back, that preschool had horrible security. She ran faster and longer than most preschoolers could, and should. She kept running until she saw the nearby mall that was around the corner that her mom always took her to. Claire tried to figure out the places that Marissa wouldn't look._

_Down escalators, through clothing racks, Claire tried to hide from everyone. She still doesn't know how they found her, or how she managed to hide for so long… ***_

"They died a few months before your mom died. I'm surprised you don't remember me." Claire said, putting the duck back on her bed. "I called your mom, because I wanted to live with her instead of Marissa, but you answered the phone. I remember it, we had just learned how to make phone calls, and I messed up the number a few times before I got it right."

"Really?" Kurt asked. He didn't remember this at all. But maybe he didn't remember because, in the end, he's had a pretty good life, with lots of happy memories. Claire didn't, so she remembered those details that other people didn't.

"Yeah. The only thing that I really remember saying to you was that I liked your mom better than Marissa. We were name buddies."

"Name buddies?"

"Yeah. Our moms were more of best friends than sisters, and they decided that they'd name their daughters after each other. That's where I get my middle name, Elizabeth. If you were a girl, your middle name would have been Ashlyn, or something of the sort. But I don't remember what else we talked about. I kind of wish I did, though."

"Yeah…" Kurt's voice trailed off. He felt bad that he couldn't remember this. As Claire neatened her pillow and blanket, she started humming a song that Kurt had never heard of.

"What song is that?" He asked.

"Oh, sorry. I didn't realize I was humming. Most people haven't heard of it, it's kind of old. It's called Breakable, by Rose Falcon. It was the only CD that I ever had that I didn't have to buy with my own money. So I listened to it all the time. But all of the other CDs that I had, I bought. They aren't as special."

"Try singing Breakable. I think that we might have found your audition song for Glee club."

Claire did some quick vocal warmups, and after Kurt found a karaoke version of the song on YouTube, Claire began to sing.

_Like a flower in a hurricane,  
A finger painting left out in the pouring rain,  
Sweet words whispered on a subway train,  
Wasted and lost in all the noise…  
Beautiful,  
Breakable,  
Like a butterfly in an angry world  
So breakable…_

Claire stopped. "Is that good?" She never really sung in front of people before. She used to sing in her bedroom, after Marissa had fallen asleep, and Claire would dance around her tiny room. But she never sang to others. She didn't know how Kurt would react. The last time that Claire sang in front of an audience, Marissa later screamed at her, calling her untalented and useless, not to mention the other names that she usually called her niece. That was years ago, and Claire never had the courage to sing for others after that. That one time killed her confidence, and it affected Claire's wish to be a performer until she realized that she would never be good enough. Most teenagers go through the age that they feel like they will never be good enough, but Claire was told and reminded this on a daily basis. Singing for Kurt gave her the reminder that Lima was a new start for her.

"Well, you'll have to sing the whole song for your audition, but I think I know a freshman who just _might_ be joining the New Directions." Kurt replied, with a huge grin on his face.

"Yay!" Claire smiled as she and gave Kurt the biggest hug that she had given in years.

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**Aw, poor Claire. I always hate/love writing her flashbacks. They are fun to write (not fun, but you get the point) because of all of the detail that I can put into it, but as an author, I think of Claire as a fictional friend of mine (in the least weird way possible), and no one wants bad things to happen to their friends! Anyways, get ready for more Glee and original characters, more songs, and a lot more drama in ATOF! Thank you for any and all reviews, please tell your friends, and remember that you can also find ATOF on and ! Thanks for reading, and see you again for Chapter 6 in a few days!**


	6. Chapter 6: Glee Club Is A Love Triangle

**Sorry for the lack of updating! Just wanted to say that this chapter is back to normal, appropriate for anyone in the Teen range. Actually, this one is pretty appropriate for all ages.**

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Claire woke up earlier than she would have liked, at 6:30 in the morning. Kurt was still fast asleep, so she tried to be quiet. Claire looked around the room. On Kurt's desk, she saw the _McKinley High Thunderclap_ for previous year. She quietly took tiny steps across the floor, knowing that Kurt probably is used to more sleep that she was. When she reached the desk, she thought she heard Kurt roll over, so she ran back to her bed. He was still asleep.

Claire opened up to the back, where she assumed that the club pictures would be. She needed to learn names as soon as she could. She wanted the Glee club to be the one place where she didn't feel like the outsider that she had become for all of her life. Past the 4 pages for the cheerleaders, the band, and what seemed like a million clubs, she finally found the Glee Club picture, with a group picture and small photos of them at competitions. Most of the pictures were of Finn and a brunette girl. Claire guessed that the girl was Rachel. She used her finger as a bookmark and turned to the Junior section of the yearbook, and she scanned for any girls that looked like her. Just as she expected - Rachel Berry. Claire got out her journal and pen and started to right down information to help her remember who was who.

_Rachel Berry – Juniors, p. 1. Finn's GF, brunette hair. Apparently sings a lot_.

Claire kept flipping from Glee picture to the Juniors section. Every once in a while, she would test herself by going through each page, cover the names, and try to find someone in Glee. After a lot of confusion, Claire looked in the Sophomore section, where she found the remainder of the members.

Finally, Kurt woke up around 8. "You're awake?" He said, still half-asleep.

"Yeah." She said quietly. Kurt slowly got up. "I was looking at your yearbook from last year. Sorry I didn't ask, but I wanted to see who was in Glee. That way, on Monday, I won't have to remember as many names."

"Glee! I totally forgot. We're all meeting at the Lima Bean to write up our set list for Sectionals! It's our first competition. You should come!" By now, Kurt had already bounced out of bed. "I know you aren't part of the club yet, but you'll get in anyway. Feel free to give any suggestions. We have to be there at 10:30. Is Finn awake yet?"

"I don't know." Claire said, watching Kurt try to find an outfit in his overflowing closet. The closet was about the length of two twin beds, and had at least 4 feet width. Despite the amount of space, Kurt figured out a way to fill it all up, everything stacked and hung neatly, but still packed to the brim. "Whoa, you have way more clothes than I do!" Claire muttered as she looked at the closet. Kurt had more clothes in his current wardrobe than Claire had had in her entire life.

"We need to change that, then!" Kurt happily clapped. "We need to go shopping this week. Carole will let us use her credit card – she always does."

"She doesn't have to do that, I have some money in my wallet." Claire said, looking through the bills in her wallet, which was white and lined with music staffs and notes. "I have, like, $40."

"Claire, if you're going shopping with me, then you'll need more than that. That will get you a pant leg."

Kurt excused himself as he went into the bathroom to get ready, leaving a surprised Claire in the bedroom. _$40 could get me a whole outfit at home…_ she looked at her wallet. _Well, Claire, this is your new home._ She rummaged through her dresser and picked out a pair of jeans and a tank top with a sweater shrug that went just below her elbows.

No one, not even Kurt, could see the bruises all over her arms from Marissa's abuse.

* * *

Claire looked around Lima as Kurt drove. Both of them were singing along to Kurt's iPod, full of showtunes that Claire somewhat knew. Finn sat in the back, obviously annoyed at the amount of Wicked and Bare songs that was blasting, texting other Glee members reminding them of their meeting. They finally arrived at the Lima Bean, and Claire could recognize some of the people waiting outside. There were 3 other girls. All of them were very skinny and had perfect hair and looks, Claire recognized them from the Cheerleading pictures in the yearbook. The blond one with short hair was Quinn, and the Latina was Santana. But it took her a minute to remember the third girl's name. Kurt was about to get out of the car, but Claire quickly stopped him.

"Wait," she said. "I need to test my Name Knowledge. The one in the middle is Santana, right?" She got a nod from Kurt. "And… the girl on the left is Quinn, and the other blonde girl is… Brittany!"

"You're good at this!" Kurt said. "Let me just give you a quick overview of who everyone is. The Glee club is a giant relationship triangle, so this might get confusing." Claire got out her journal and opened it up to the page about Glee as Finn got out of the car to talk to the cheerleaders.

"So Finn is always in an on-again-off-again relationship with either Rachel or Quinn. Right now he's with Rachel, but who knows how long that will last. There's also Noah, we all call him Puck, he's the one with the mohawk, he's dated pretty much every girl in the club." Kurt kept talking as Claire jotted down notes, drawing arrows connecting names together.

_Finn - Rachel or Quinn. Currently Rachel_

_Puck - no one, right now. Pretty close to going back to juvy._

_Mike - Tina – longest lasting relationship in ND so far._

_Kurt - Blaine 3 _

_Santana - Brittany? No one knows._

_Mercedes - Shane (not in Glee)_

_Artie – dated Brittany and Tina_

"That's enough for now, I'll go over the whole thing later. They're probably waiting for us." Kurt said.

"This isn't it?" Claire said with a laugh. "Forget love triangles, Glee must be a love pentagon!" She put her journal in her bag and followed Kurt to the inside of the café where the group of 5 had almost doubled. The only people that they were missing was Puck, Rachel, Blaine, and Mr. Schuester, who was invited to come.

"Guys," Kurt said, "This is Claire. I know I've mentioned her before."

"Really?" Claire asked. She started smiling. She still wasn't used to all of this, this being wanted. She played with her clothes, tugging at the sleeves and hems. It's that nervous tic of hers again. Whenever she's around something new, she starts playing with her clothes. Claire sat at the seat between Kurt and Finn.

"Yeah." One of the girls said. "He wouldn't stop talking about you. Every day during rehearsal, every minute. 'Claire's coming tomorrow!' 'I wonder what she's like!' 'You'll love her!" I'm Mercedes, by the way." Claire smiled and said a quiet "hi".

"This morning, she was looking through my yearbook trying to memorize all of your names. She's actually pretty good." Now Claire started blushing. Yes, she knew most of their names. She just wanted to fit in.

"What's my name, then? Most people at school just know me as Wheelchair Kid." A boy in a wheelchair said. Claire looked at him for a second, and surprised him by getting it right.

"She _is_ good." Mercedes said.

"Hey, where's Rachel?" Finn asked. "She's usually the first one here."

"Yeah," Tina asked. "How did we manage to get Santana out this early, but not Rachel?"

Quinn laughed. "Trying to get Santana to wake up is not easy. I try to stay a few feet away when I can."

"Hey." Santana interjected. "I needs my beauty sleep." Brittany laughed and linked fingers with Santana.

Mr. Schuester came in and met the students at the table. "You guys didn't order anything?"

"We were waiting for you." Finn said. "Mr. Schue, this is Claire. You know, the girl that Kurt wouldn't stop talking about."

"Hi!" Claire said, with a slight wave. She had her own wave, kind of a finger wave more than a full-hand wave.

"You need to hear her, Mr. Schue." Kurt said, full of excitement. "We were working on her audition song last night, and she was amazing."

Kurt started discussing something with the director as everyone else got in line to order. While everyone else was in line, Blaine arrived. He quickly talked to Kurt, and then got in line with everyone else.

"Oh, Blaine, this is Claire." Mercedes quickly introduced the two before ordering. "You know, Kurt's cousin that he was obsessing over."

"Kurt always talks about you!" Claire and Blaine said at the same time, and then started laughing.

"Seriously, whenever he talked about you, he had a bigger smile than I've seen on him for a while." Blaine said.

"No, you should see him when he's talking about you!"

Blaine was the next up to order. "Could I please have a medium drip and a grande nonfat mocha?" He turned to Claire. "Remember that last part. The 3 ways to Kurt's heart are clothes, showtunes, and knowing his coffee order." Blaine finished paying, and went to the side to wait for Claire.

"Um… can I have a hot chocolate, please?" Claire said with a smile. Hot chocolate was one of her comfort foods. She made it all the time when she lived with Marissa. No. She wasn't going to think about her. She's here with a new group of people, and Claire will _not_ get her past into this.

"I should have gotten a hot chocolate…" Blaine muttered to himself. Claire could already tell that Blaine had this childish side to him. Claire decided that now, she had 5 people who she could trust: Kurt, Finn, Carole, Burt, and Blaine. But she somehow felt that she would spend a lot of time with Blaine, because they both aren't afraid to act like kids sometimes. That was one of the things that Claire never had in Boston. She never had a friend who she could just act like a normal kid with. She never invited anyone to her house, not that anyone asked, but if someone asked for Claire to come over to their house, she would always decline the invitation, feeling guilty that she could never return the favor. She never really had any friends back home, there was a group of kids that she would sit with in the cafeteria and sometimes talk to between classes, but Claire never really considered them as "friends". She thought of all students at her school in the same way: they were all growing up to fast, and becoming adults before they were even 13. Claire didn't want to associate with the kids like that. They had a life that she was jealous of, of course she would never admit that jealousy, but the privileged students took everything that they had for granted.

Claire and Blaine met up with the rest of the group at the table to see that Rachel had arrived.

"Claire!" She said. "Can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Sure." Claire followed Rachel away from the table. She heard someone mutter something about not sending her to a crack house, but Claire dismissed it.

"Claire, I want us to be friends, okay? I mean, I am dating your cousin's stepbrother. And I want you to be in Glee club with Kurt and Finn. The closest that I've seen Kurt being this happy is when he's with Blaine, but I want you to know that the Glee club gets bullied a lot. Some people just don't appreciate star performers."

"It's fine." Claire said. "I'm used to it. But at my old school, it wasn't because I was in a club. We actually didn't have any arts programs."

"Well, then I'm glad that you are here with us. Can I have your cell phone number?"

"I don't have a cell phone, sorry. If you want to talk, you can call the house. I think you already have that, though."

"Yeah. Well, we better get back with the group. I don't want them to make any decisions about what songs I'll be singing without me being there to approve."

"Let's get these ideas flowing!" Mr. Schuester said as Rachel and Claire walked back. Did Rachel say the songs _she'll_ be singing? Claire wanted a solo too. Maybe…

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**Again, I apologize for lack of updating! It's been... almost 10 days! I've just been so stressed out lately. It's Tech Week for one of my shows (or as we like to call it, Hell Week), next week is Tech for another show, and the new grading term just started so teachers were packing in last-minute tests and quizzes. Luckily, (well, not luckily for me, more for you readers) most of the after-school clubs are ending in the next 3 weeks so I should have more writing time. I've been spending a lot of time editing and changing details instead of adding more... Anyways, this chapter was kind of short and more of a filler chapter. The next few are more exciting: Claire auditions for Glee Club and starts to make friends (and enemies) at McKinley! Well, I should probably go because I'm not supossed to be on my computer right now... Anyways, same old spiel: You can find this story on Figment (which I usually don't update as often), Wattpad, or my website...review with any song ideas, yada yada yada... OH, AND I ALMOST FORGOT! Thank you to everyone for reading, and extra special thank you's to the few of you who review =) Bye! Hopefully I will see you in less than 10 days!  
**


	7. Chapter 7: The New Kid

Kurt drove to school early so that Claire could spend some time before school started with the guidance counselor, Ms. Pillsbury. Claire had been living with the Hummels for a few days, but it wasn't until Wednesday when she finally started school. Claire sat in the soft, cushioned chair and looked around as she waited for the counselor. There were pamphlets and brochures on basically every topic that you would think of. She saw one that said "My Mom's Bipolar and She Won't Stop Yelling" and quickly reached over to get it. Even though she wasn't living with Marissa anymore, it was an instinct to take it.

Ms. Pillsbury walked in just as Claire sat back down. "Claire, hi! I'm Ms. Pillsbury, the guidance counselor at McKinley High."

"Hi." Claire said, playing with her long-sleeved shirt, folding and unfolding the green and white striped sleeve's ends. This was a nervous tic of Claire's, she would always fidget with her clothes. Whether this was because in middle school she used to wear baggy clothes, or just a random quirk of Claire's, it was always the one critique that teachers would give when Claire was speaking in front of a class. Well, in the later middle school years, teachers would tell Claire to speak out, but usually they told her to stop fidgeting.

"Burt told me a lot about you when they came to register you. I just want you to know that if you ever need someone to talk to, about your past or what's going on now, adjusting to the new family and school, that's what I'm here for." She handed Claire a pamphlet that said "I'm Living with My Relatives Because My Parents Can't Take Care of Me." _She has a pamphlet for everything, _Claire thought as she read the different names, like "So You're a Two-Timin' Ho", "So You're Dating a Two-Timin' Ho", "Please Don't Hog My Fiancée's Nog", and "So You Like Throwing Up". It made Claire wonder what really happened at this school if the guidance counselor needed such a variety of pamphlets.

"Thanks." Claire said. She looked around the room. This would be the perfect time to tell her about all of the bruises from being pushed around, but Claire didn't want to start off the year as that freaky abused kid. She had enough of that back home. Lima was a new start for Claire; she didn't want to repeat her old mistakes. Ms. Pillsbury started to look through Claire's records, and she stopped once she reached a page from the Children's Hospital. _Shoot_. Claire thought. _No. Not now. I've haven't even been here for an hour and I'm already going to be under watch._ But Ms. Pillsbury didn't say anything. Nothing. She just took a big breath.

"Claire," she said, finally. Claire held her breath. It would be just like her old school. The kids would find out, and then they would all ignore her as if she was some type of freak. In today's society, lots of people believe that kids who are abused are likely to abuse as well. Who would want to take that chance with Claire? She especially didn't want the Glee kids to find out. Kurt had said that the club is for misfits who don't fit in anywhere else. Claire was one of them, and she didn't want to be alone. She didn't want teachers to be on her case. She just wanted to be like any other high schooler.

"Yes?" Claire quietly said, expecting what she was trying to avoid.

"When most new students come to this school, they have lunch with me for a week. Since you already know most of the Glee kids, I don't think that making friends will be a problem, but you have a Study Hall class during 5th period today. Do you think that you could come down to my office then?"

"Sure." Claire said, collecting her bag after seeing some students walking through the hall. "Um, which way to my first class?"

* * *

Claire felt so small in the hallway, despite being with other freshman. She surprisingly opened her locker on the first try, but was interrupted by someone yelling at a student. Claire looked around and saw that it was a teacher, wearing a red tracksuit, screaming at a student because the boy's long hair got her confused about his gender. Claire knew that she shouldn't make a big spectacle of herself, especially on her first day, but after holding in anger for the past 10 years, she couldn't help it.

"I'm sorry, but aren't you a teacher here? You're supposed to be encouraging students, not making their lives miserable. I may be new here, but teachers should never be mean like that." Claire said, slamming her locker and walking toward the teacher.

"Excuse me, but I also believe that the same should apply to students yelling at teachers." The teacher said, with barely any expression. "In my office. Now."

Claire reluctantly stomped into the office, which was lined with cheerleading trophies and magazines. On the desk, the name plate said "Sue Sylvester".

"Great," Claire said. "In trouble on my first day."

"What's your name?" Coach Sylvester asked the student.

"Claire Devine. I'm guessing you're Coach Sylvester. I've heard about you."

"Really." The teacher said, sitting in her office chair. She put on her glasses and started to type something on her computer. "What have you heard?"

"I heard that you have a pretty impressive cheer squad. I saw the pictures of you in last year's yearbook. The cheerleaders here are way better than at my old school. I've never been into sports, though." If Claire was going to get in trouble, she might as well pretend to be nice to the teacher. Claire really did recognize her, though. Quinn and Santana mentioned the cheerleading squad's achievements when the Glee club met for coffee (and cocoa in Claire's case). Brittany, the other cheerleader, sat at the table, watching the marshmallows melt into Claire's cocoa, and wondering why the cocoa ate the marshmallows.

"Whose yearbook were you looking at?"

"Kurt Hummel. He's my cousin, I'm living with him and Finn Hudson and their parents."

"Oh, sweet, sweet Porcelain."

"What?" Claire was confused. Was that what she called Kurt?

"Wait… are you joining the _Glee Club?_?"

"Um, yeah. Is something wrong with that?"

"No. Not at all." She said blankly. "I'll tell my good friend Will Schuester I met with you. You can go now. I don't know what else to say."

"Okay." Claire got her bag, and looked at the clock. Luckily, she wouldn't be late for her first class. She quickly left before the teacher would realize that she completely forgot to give Claire some sort of punishment.

* * *

Claire got into her Biology class right before the bell rang. There was only one empty seat, so she decided to put her bag down and sit there, not that she had any other option. There were two girls and a boy. There was also a group of girls at a neighboring table, all wearing their cheerleader outfits, and it made Claire wonder why they would wear them all the time like that.

"Hi, I'm Taryn." One of the girls at Claire's table said, interrupting her thoughts. "Did you go to Fairbrook Middle? That's where most kids who go to McKinley went, because they live in the district. You don't look familiar. Did I say that I'm Taryn? I'm Taryn." This girl talked even faster than Kurt did.

Claire smiled. "Yeah, you said that. I'm Claire. And no, I just moved here. I used to live in Boston."

"Oh, cool! I love new people! Have you read The Hunger Games? That's my favorite book."

The other girl interrupted. "It seems as if _someone_ forgot their ADHD meds this morning. I'm Hazel. I'm the sane part of the group. You can obviously tell who is _not_."

"Hey!" Taryn said. "I took my meds! Wait, did I? I didn't. No. Yes. I don't know, stop confusing me!"

The boy turned around, looking up from his drawing. "Hey, I'm Roger."

"Hi." Claire said. "So, um, do you still have your schedules? I'm going to be so lost today, especially because all of my friends are either seniors or juniors."

"You just moved here and you're friends with seniors?" Taryn said. "I don't even know the names of most of the sophomores!"

"Well, two of them are my cousins. Well, my cousin and step-cousin. I'm living with them for now."

"Really? Where do your parents live?" Hazel asked.

"My parents died when I was four. I lived with one of my aunts for a while, but…" Claire tried to think of a lie. "She didn't have any kids, and starting high school and all, Lima has better programs and stuff."

"Whoa!" Taryn said. "You are totally just like us. Roger's dad died when he was little, and my mom is out of the picture. So it's like, we all have parents who aren't with us."

Hazel put up a finger, and Taryn stopped talking. "Taryn, nice job. I thought your dad told you not to tell random people about your mom!"

"I didn't say _where_ she is! And Claire isn't a random person! She's our new friend! It is Claire, right? I'm Taryn."

"Taryn kind of doesn't have a filter button. Or a mute button. You get used to it."

"Let me see your schedule." Roger said, looking at the paper that Claire had received that morning. "We all have the same lunch. Unless you want to go sit with your cousins, that's fine too. But you have History with Hazel and me. And… You have gym with Taryn. Have you thought about joining any clubs yet?"

"I'm already in Glee." Claire said. "That's where I met all of the seniors and juniors. Both of my cousins are in Glee. I haven't auditioned yet, but they had a group meeting on Sunday, and I was invited."

The three other students looked at each other, worriedly. "Is something wrong?" Claire asked.

Hazel broke the news to her. "Glee is kind of social suicide. The kids get bullied a lot, and someone gets slushied almost every other day."

"_Slushied_?"

"It's when people throw a Slushee at you." Roger said blankly. "I mean, you're the new kid, so I don't know if you'd be safe from it or not. I've heard that orange is the worst, probably because of the acidity. I bet watermelon or grape would be the safest. Although, I've seen people get Slushied, and corn syrup in the eye is never comfortable."

Claire was silently thinking, and then said "I wonder if they have Cherry Slushees…"

* * *

"So, Claire, how has your first day of school been?" Ms. Pillsbury asked. "I talked to Mr. Schuester, and he said that he couldn't wait to hear you sing. Have you been in any school plays?"

"No, my old school didn't have an art program. Not that I would be able to be in the musical anyway."

"Well, I think that it's great that you are in the arts at McKinley. I know it seems far away, but if you wanted to do something in college with the arts, it would look great on your résumé. Did you sit with Kurt and Finn at lunch?"

"For most of it. I sat with some new friends for the first half, then with the Glee kids for the second half."

"It's good that you're making friends already! Most new kids, especially the underclassmen, take a while to make new friends. Luckily you have your cousins to guide you. But you really should make your own decisions, it is your education, after all." She paused, looking for the right words to say. "Claire, can I ask you something about your aunt?"

Claire tried to think of something to say, trying to avoid any conversations about Marissa. "Elizabeth? That's Kurt's mom. And I guess that Carole is technically my aunt now. It depends on your definition of _aunt_. I don't really know about my dad's side of the family, so I don't know if I have any aunts on that side-"

"I'm talking about your aunt Marissa. The one who raised you after your parents died."

_Raised wouldn't be the best word_, Claire thought. "What about her?"

"Does she know that you are in Lima?"

This made Claire think. No, she didn't tell her that she was in Lima. She told her that she was leaving and never coming back. Nothing else. No details, nothing whatsoever. And Claire wanted to keep it that way. She didn't want that monster in her life, just like Marissa had said about her every day.

"No," Claire said. "She doesn't."

The more Claire thought about it, Marissa had no idea where her niece was. Claire never actually _said_ anything, to be exact; she kind of just left a note on the wooden kitchen table. Claire wondered if Marissa actually read the note, or if the wind from the open windows blew the note under the fridge or something. Or maybe the note was still there, but Marissa never noticed. Not that she, nor Claire, really cared where the other was.

"I don't know what your intentions were, running away and not telling Marissa," Ms. Pillsbury said with concern, "but someone has to tell her. You took a plane across four states, you're currently living with family with no blood relation to you, besides Kurt, but even that is pushing it. Not to mention that as of right now, Marissa is the only person with legal custody of you. If something happens to you, Claire, you are held responsible. She needs to know where you are!"

"No, she doesn't!" Claire jumped up, half-yelling. She took a breath. "Ms. Pillsbury, we can't tell her where I am. She's going to come and find me and bring me back to Boston. And I _can't_ go back to Boston. I can't go back with her."

"Claire, she's your legal guardian. If anything ever happened to you, then she would be the one being questioned, maybe paying bills for medicine and hospital stays…" On those last words, Claire saw the guidance counselor shift her eyes over to Claire's file, filled with information about Claire's last stay at the hospital. "And if she said that you ran away, you would just be getting everyone into trouble, including Burt and Carole for not answering any 'lost child' reports."

"Like Marissa would have sent in a report, she's probably too drunk to notice that I'm gone! Ms. Pillsbury, I really don't want to talk about her, I don't want to talk about Boston, I just want to talk about what I'm going to be doing for my next four years at McKinley. Marissa is only one of the reasons why I had to leave Boston, and that file right there is the other part. There's too much in there that I don't like to think about." Claire took what felt like the millionth breath.

"Claire, isn't it a bit soon to be thinking about staying here through high school? Maybe you should see how everything is and you can make more decisions in a few weeks."

"I think I should go back to class."

"Come back tomorrow!" Ms. Pillsbury said after Claire. As much as she wanted to see Claire happy and safe, she eventually would need to realize that running away to Lima isn't some sort of vacation escape. Emma looked at Claire's file, and looked back at a cabinet of others that had to be relooked at. Maybe Lima wasn't so much of a problem-free place as Claire thought it would be.

* * *

**I feel like it's been so long... I've missed you all. Tech Weeks are sure called "Hell Week" for a reason! Anyways, this is so far my longest chapter. It gets longer, though... I never liked short chapters, especially when I'm waiting for someone to update. So, now for the usual: Thanks for any and all reviews, I love when I get emails saying "New Review!". It makes me feel all happy inside, I guess it's sort of proof that I'm writing for a reason. I don't know what I should hint to for the next chapter, because it's 11:37 on a Wednesday night and I really should be asleep. I really want pizza though. I just don't want to walk up the stairs... Anyways, see you all next week for Chapter 8! (Chapter 8 already? I remember when I posted Chapter One!) Bye!**


	8. Chapter 8: Glee Club

**This chapter is one of the more mature ones. Basically, Puck swears and asks some inappropriate Truth or Dare questions, and the group sings a song from Rent. Not to spoil or anything. But if you don't feel comfortable reading, just skip everything after the line break. I feel like I have to warn people because I said that I would, and that some people don't feel comfortable with the genius that is commonly called Rent.**

* * *

Claire was getting her bag out of her locker at the end of the day when she felt her new cell phone, courtesy of Burt and Carole, vibrate in her pocket. Today had been a long first day, especially talking to Ms. Pillsbury about Marissa. But the one thing that Claire was excited for was Glee Club.

_What room are you near? I'll show you where the choir room is. We might be in the auditorium today, though, because sometimes we hold auditions there instead. Anyway, text back, please! -K _

Claire looked around. _B 204. How close are you?_

Her question was answered when she turned the corner to see Blaine walking. "Claire, hi!" He said. "Waiting for Kurt?"

"Yeah. I'm surprised that he's not with you."

Blaine laughed. "Just because we're dating doesn't mean that we're attached at the hip. But I have to ask my teacher something. Want me to wait with you?"

"It's fine, he'll be here soon. I don't think there are any scary seniors around."

"Okay, see you in Glee."

Right as Blaine turned around, in what seemed like an instant, two football players threw purple Slushees at Claire and Blaine. The freezing bits of ice stung, and the corn syrup seemed to burn at Claire's eyes.

"Oh my God." Blaine said, wiping the grape ice away from his eyes and hair.

"I know, I hate grape!" Claire said, getting a smile out of Blaine. "Grape Slushees are beyond gross." Claire felt her phone vibrate again. _Finally_, a text from Kurt.

_I'm actually kind of far away. I think that Blaine is around there. Find him and he'll bring you here! -K_

"I guess we're going to Glee like this?" Claire asked the rhetorical question as she showed Blaine the text, and they shivered their way to the auditorium.

"Oh my god," Tina exhaled as she saw Blaine and Claire walk into the auditorium with purple-stained faces. "What did they do to you?"

"It's official." Puck said. "You don't even have to be in Glee to get slushied."

"Was it Karofsky?" Mercedes said. "It was probably either him or Azimio."

By that time, Kurt and Finn realized what happened and ran toward the freezing students.

"Claire, I'm so sorry. They couldn't have waited until you were actually in the club before they Slushied you?" Finn said as he tried to wipe the grape syrup away from her hair.

"Claire actually wasn't that upset about it." Blaine said, taking a sweatshirt out of his backpack. "The minute it happened, she started cracking jokes. I swear, this girl could make anyone smile."

Claire smiled back. She truly wished that she had people like the New Directions at her old school. Maybe she wouldn't have been so unhappy in Boston. _Stop_, Claire thought. _You're in Lima now, stop reminding yourself of Boston._

Mr. Schuester came over to her. "Do you still want to audition today?"

"Of course I do!" Claire said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. Slushees couldn't stop Claire from auditioning. Bruises and scars didn't before, and they are much more severe than a flavored drink.

She walked up the steps of the stage with the purple stains on her shirt, adjusted the microphone and said "Hi, my name is Claire Devine, and I'm usually not this purple." She got a laugh from most of the Glee kids. "I'll be singing _Breakable_ by Rose Falcon."

_Like a flower in a hurricane  
A finger painting left out in the pouring rain  
Sweet words whispered on a subway train  
Wasted and lost  
In all the noise_

_Beautiful, Breakable_  
_Like a butterfly in an angry world, so breakable_

_She lies wide awake hearing their screams_  
_When the front door slams she don't know what it means_  
_Though she shuts her eyes the tears still stream_  
_Lonely and lost in all the noise_

_Beautiful, Breakable_  
_Like a butterfly in an angry world, so breakable_  
_Beautiful, innocence in an angry world, so breakable_

_The heart is fragile handle with care_  
_Hold it it's precious_  
_There's treasure in there_

_Beautiful, Breakable_  
_Like a butterfly in an angry world, so breakable_

_Beautiful, innocence in an angry world so breakable…_

It wasn't until Claire finished singing and met Kurt's glance when she realized that she must have done well, because he had a huge smile on his face. The rest of the club was smiling too. It seemed that it would take Claire a long time to get used to people actually smiling _at_ her in a nice way. The reason that Claire could make jokes about the Slushees was because being pushed to the cement ground hurt a lot more than corn syrup in the eye. But somehow, there she was, smiling along with the club.

"She's really good." Rachel whispered to Finn. "If she was in our grade, she'd probably be stealing my- I mean, _our_- solos."

Mr. Schuester stood up, still applauding. "I think we found our newest member!"

Everyone was smiling and laughing, except for Rachel, who was sure that she would find some way to keep all of the solos that were rightfully hers still sung by Ms. Rachel Berry.

* * *

On Friday night, the Glee club met up at Rachel's house for their Glee club sleepovers, where they spent the night singing the Top 40s and show tunes. For Blaine and Claire, this was their first sleepover, and they were both relieved when Kurt promised that there wouldn't be alcohol. Blaine and alcohol never ended well and Claire refused to go if anyone would be drinking. She didn't tell anyone this, but even at the thought of alcohol, it reminded her of Marissa.

"I'm glad you're here!" Rachel exclaimed when she opened the door and saw Kurt, Finn, and Claire. "Put your bags over here for now, everyone else is in the basement.

When Claire walked down the stairs, she saw the group cheering on Mike and Brittany, who were dueling out a Just Dance battle on Rachel's mini-stage, equipped with lights and speakers.

"You have a _stage_ in your basement?" Claire asked, her eyes wide open and looking around the room as if she was a little kid in a candy store. "I had a sorry excuse for a bed for 10 years, and you have a _stage_?"

"Just wait," Kurt said. "We have karaoke contests later."

"Claire, your turn!" Brittany said after her song finished. She jumped off of the stage over to Claire while Mike went back to the main menu screen of the game.

"Finn, you're doing it with me. You're the only person who is at my dance skill level."

"Oh, thanks." Finn laughed as he went onto the stage. "Can we set it on 'easy mode', please?"

Before Claire could agree, Santana pressed 'Play', but it still had the same settings as the previous players. A fast song at the hardest level.

"Noooooo!" Claire and Finn both shouted as the song began to start. They were both having trouble hitting each step, but Claire was winning by a landslide. The rest of the group was singing along to the music between laughing at Finn's failure dance moves.

_Party rock __is in the house tonight  
Everybody just have a good time  
And we gonna make you lose your mind  
Everybody just have a good time_

_We just wanna see ya! Shake That!"_

When the song finally ended, both Claire and Finn had red faces.

"Santana!" Claire shouted as she smiled. "Don't do that again!"

"But it was so much fun to watch." Kurt laughed.

"Whose side are you on, Kurt?" Finn asked.

"Obviously, not yours, Finn." Mercedes smiled. "Claire beat your ass!"

The group looked at the scores on the screen. Finn had only gotten about half of the score that Claire did.

Rachel came back downstairs, holding a few boxes of pizza. "I missed it? Why didn't you guys tell me? She looked at the screen. "Finn, you need some dancing help."

As the group sat around eating pizza, someone started the wonderful idea to play Truth or Dare. Puck went first.

"Mike. Truth or Dare?" he asked.

"Truth."

"Okay…when was the last time you and Tina had sex?"

The whole group burst out laughing, but Mike and Tina's faces turned bright red. Claire covered her ears. "LA LA LA… I CAN'T HEAR YOU! I AM YOUNG AND INNOCENT. I CAN'T HEAR YOU!"

"Puck!" Quinn playfully hit the boy sitting next to her. "We have a child in the room!"

"Oh, shit." This got almost as much laughter as the original question. "I'm sorry I'm not used to 9th graders! What am I supposed to say?"

Claire smiled. "You're _supposed _to ask what celebrity we'd want to meet, how long we've gone without taking a shower, what we want to be when we're older…"

"Basically everything boring." Santana said. "Let me try. Claire, truth or dare."

"Um, truth. I think. Should I be scared?"

"Who's hotter, Finn or Kurt?"

"How am I supposed to answer that?" Claire laughed. "I quit this game."

"You can't." Brittany said, swallowing her pizza. "If you don't answer, we have to ask you five more truths that are even worse."

"Fine! I'm afraid to know what's worse… Um… I don't know!"

"Really, Santana? This is her first Glee truth or dare, and you give her a question like _that_?"

Every time that Claire opened her mouth to answer, she would start laughing, and the rest of the group's questions didn't go well either.

"I think that we should just switch to karaoke, Rachel. We obviously aren't getting any answers out of Claire." Mercedes smiled and said the second sentence with sarcasm.

"What answers do you want?" Claire replied. "Oh, wait, no, don't answer that question!"

"Who's first for karaoke?" Rachel asked. "Claire, do you want to start? We can back you up with whatever song you choose."

"Wow, Rachel." Quinn said. "I'm surprised that you didn't volunteer to go first this time."

"Well, since Claire is new, I thought that we should let her go first!" Claire couldn't help but notice the slight bit of annoyance in Rachel's voice, but disregarded it.

"I have an awesome idea. Kurt, Blaine, I know you guys know this song." The boys followed Claire onto the stage where she whispered the name of the song. Blaine started laughing hysterically.

"So you say that we're being too inappropriate, and you are singing _that?_"

"I never said that you were! But this _is_ one of my favorite songs."

"Trust me," Kurt said, "They all know this."

As Claire began to sing, she couldn't stop smiling. Maybe it was just that it was a happy, almost silly song, but it was just so much fun to sing for the group. Her audition had been a bit scary and definitely cold, but Claire was ready with exaggerated jazz hands for her favorite Rent song.

_Dearly beloved_

_We gather here to say our goodbyes_

_Here she lies_

_No one knew her worth_

_The late great daughter of Mother Earth_

_On these nights when we celebrate the birth_

_In that little town of Bethlehem_

_We raise our glass, you bet your ass to_

_La vie boheme_

The rest of the group started laughing and began to start singing along.

"Wait!" Kurt said. "Everyone get over here." He said, pointing to the floor below stage where he was already sitting. "The stage is our table. Go!"

_To days of inspiration, playing hooky, making something out of nothing_

_The need to express, to communicate_

_To going against the grain, going insane, going mad_

_To loving tension, no pension, to more than one dimension_

_To starving for attention hating convention, hating pretension_

_Not to mention of course hating dear old mom and dad_

_To riding your bike midday past the three piece suits_

_To fruits, to no absolutes_

_To Absolut, to choice, to the Village Voice_

_To any passing fad_

_To being an 'us' for once_

_Instead of a 'them'_

_La vie boheme_

_La vie boheme_

Santana stood up, holding Brittany's hand, joining Claire on stage. "Hey Mister!" She said, motioning towards Puck. "She's my sister." The rest of the girls joined in.

_To hand crafted beers made in local breweries_

_To yoga, to yogurt, to rice and beans and cheese_

_To leather, to dildos to curry vindaloo_

_To huevos rancheros and Maya Angelou_

_Emotion, devotion, to causing a commotion_

_Creation, vacation, mucho masturbation_

_Compassion, to fashion, to passion when it's new_

_To Sontag, to Sondheim, to anything taboo_

Now it was the boys turn on stage. They tried as well to be overdramatic, but the whole thing just left the girls in hysterical laughter.

_Ginsberg, Dylan, Cunningham and Cage_

_Lenny Bruce, Langston Hughes, to the stage_

_To Uta, to Buddha, Pablo Neruda, too_

_Why Dorothy and Toto went over the rainbow_

_To blow off auntie Em_

_La vie boheme_

Now, the whole room was full of the Rent-heads and their friends dancing around; on tables, on the stage, on the washing machine, anywhere.

_Bisexuals, trisexuals, homo sapiens_

_Carcinogens, hallucinogens, men, Pee Wee Herman_

_German wine, turpentine, Gertrude Stein_

_Antonioni, Bertolucci, Kurosawa, Carmina Burana_

_To apathy, to entropy, to empathy, ecstasy_

_Vaclav Havel, The Sex Pistols, 8BC_

_To no shame never playing the fame game_

_To marijuana_

_To sodomy, it's between god and me_

_To S&M_

_La vie boheme_

_Viva! La Vie! Boheme!_

* * *

**I didn't even realize that I didn't update last week! I usually get some sort of email, whether it is from or from one of my friends asking me to update. Did we all forget about Claire because we were so upset about the season finale of Glee? Anyways, hopefully soon I can get back onto a more constant schedule. I have MCAS (our state-wide test) this week... (oh my gosh, it's this week!), and then finals the week after. And next week is the tech week for the show that I'm the assistant director for. But then it's SUMMER! I will have FREEDOM! Well, until the following Monday when I start work. Thank you in advance for any/all reviews, feel free to ask questions and I will answer them here, you can find me on multiple sites (although I'm not sure if I'll keep posting on Figment because no one comments on it).**

**Oh! I'm starting a new fiction story, which hopefully will be posted on and other sites soon. I think it will be up sometime in the next two weeks. I'll tell you when it is up!**

**And one more thing: I know I'm practically asking for reviews and stuff, and I really don't mean to seem obnoxious. It's just that I usually don't post things online, and the reviews make me realize that I _have_ to continue the story because I have people reading it, and apparently liking it! That's why I might not post on Figment anymore: no one comments, so I don't know if people are reading it or if I'm just wasting my time. I don't mean to sound obnoxious when I ask for reviews. It's not like I'm forcing you or anything!**

**But on a more serious note, I really am thankful for all of you who read, even those of you who don't review. I'm already writing Chapter 19, which is farther than I have ever gotten in a story. So thank you for helping me reach a new potential!**


	9. Chapter 9: Choosing a Love Song

When Claire first got home from school on the next Monday, she was greeted not by people, but by a plate of chocolate chip cookies and a handwritten note from Carole.

_Dear Claire,_

_Sorry that I'm not home. Burt and I are both at work, Kurt had to go shopping for a project at school, and Finn is working at the garage. Hopefully these cookies will make up for it! (Cookies make everything better.)_

_Love, Carole_

She smiled and took a cookie. Claire had eaten more chocolate chip cookies in these past few days than she had in years. She had barely been inside for a few minutes when she heard the doorbell ring.

_I wonder who it is…_ Claire thought. She walked over to the door and looked through the decorative window in the doorway.

"Blaine?" She said as she opened the door. "Um, Kurt's not here right now. Carole said that he's shopping for a school project or something…"

"Oh, shoot. I completely forgot about that. I…" He stopped. "Are those Carole's chocolate chip cookies?"

Claire laughed and handed him the plate. "Have one. They a_re_ really good."

Blaine took one of the cookies and immediately smiled. "I wish my parents used to make cookies as good as these. Finn doesn't realize how lucky he is. You were really good in Glee club, by the way. Even though your hair still has a bit of purple."

Claire smiled, and she and Blaine walked into the living room. "I have always wanted purple streaks in my hair… I just assumed that I would have to pay for them! Want me to text Kurt to ask him when he'll be home?" Claire asked. "Not that I don't like you being here, but…"

"I get it." Blaine said with a smile. "But I'm actually glad that Kurt isn't here, because I had a question for you."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I really wanted to sing a song to him in Glee Club, and I needed some advice."

"Aw, that's sweet. Is there a certain reason for this song?"

"Not really. But I know that Kurt likes love songs. I don't know, do you think I should wait? I mean, Christmas is coming up, maybe I should wait until then… But it's almost been a year since we've met, and that's why I was thinking about it…"

"Blaine, you are going to find an amazing love song, and I'm going to help you. What's on your iPod?"

Blaine took his new, 4th Generation iPod Touch out of his pocket and typed in the password – 5878.

"Your password is Kurt, right?" Claire asked, smiling.

"How'd you know?" Blaine said surprisingly. "Maybe I just liked those numbers."

"First, it's obvious. And second, I'm just good at this kind of stuff." Claire clicked the "Music" app and started to look through the albums and playlists.

"Blaine," Claire said with a serious look on her face. "You have a serious Katy Perry addiction."

Both of them laughed as Claire switched to the Playlist menu_. "Warblers Songs", "Katy Perry Playlist", "Maggie's Songs"._

"Who's Maggie?" Claire asked, pointing at the playlist, which was full of Disney Princess songs.

"My cousin." Blaine replied. "She convinced me to buy a bunch of Disney songs. But… I didn't really want to get rid of them. I always had a thing for kid stuff."

"Same. Up until I was around 10, my favorite musicals were _Beauty and the Beast_ and _The Lion King_." Claire smiled. "I would always play pretend in my room, and I would dance around while I sang. I was that stereotypical princess-crazed kid, but Marissa wouldn't ever get me the costumes or anything. I had this dress that I always wore on special occasions; it was white with sparkles, and it had a blue satin sash. Kind of like in _My Favorite Things_ from _The Sound of Music._ I really wanted a yellow dress, so that I could play Belle someday. She still sounds like a great role, but Elphaba is pretty high on the list too."

Blaine was quiet for a moment, trying to visualize a young Claire with an old blue dress dancing around and pretending to be a princess. "Do you, um, talk about Marissa a lot?"

"No. I try not to think about her, but I guess that she made me who I am." Claire said, avoiding eye contact. "Anyways, back to our mission. When did you meet Kurt?"

"Almost a year, actually. He was spying on the Warblers. Well, trying to spy. He said that he was new at Dalton, but I could tell that he wasn't because he was the one kid who wasn't wearing the uniform. The Warblers were about to perform, so I showed him the way there so he could watch. We were singing Teenage Dream by Katy Perry, and he kept looking at me… and I kept looking at him… "

"I found your song. '1, 2, 3, 4'by Plain White T's. It's really sweet."

"I love that one." Blaine said. "You think he would like it?"

"I know he will!"

* * *

"Claire!" Kurt said as he put his bag down on a chair. "Was that Blaine who just left?"

"Yeah, he wanted my musical advice. Here, take a cookie. Carole made them. They're really good."

"They are. Carole is the _second_ best chef in the family. But anyway, why was Blaine asking you about songs?"

"Um… he wanted new opinions. He wanted to sing something other than Katy Perry."

"That's a first." Kurt said, rolling his eyes. "What is he going to sing?"

"He wanted it to be a surprise for everyone." Claire said. "My lips are sealed."

"That 'surprise' won't last long. Last year he totally spoiled my birthday present… 3 weeks before!"

"Well, _I_ won't be the one to spoil it."

"I'll get it out of you, Claire Devine. I promise that." Kurt said as he began to eat his cookie. "So, Claire, your first day of school is tomorrow. Are you nervous?"

"Not really, since I already know most of the Glee kids. I'm kind of excited, actually. I'm ready for a new start."

"Well, that's good. I remember my first day of Freshman year. I was stuck with the _worst_ English teacher. By the end of the first day, I already didn't like her. And I got lost all the time, I never knew which building had which of my classes."

"Thanks, Kurt, that's very comforting."

"You'll probably have it easier than me; I didn't have an awesome cousin to help me out. You also have everyone in Glee to show you to your next class. You'll make friends pretty easily. You've just got that positive energy that everyone loves."

Claire smiled. "Who were you friends with in middle school, Kurt? You really only talk about your friends in Glee. You didn't join until sophomore year, right?"

"Yeah…" Kurt said, his voice trailing off. "It's a long story, you should probably get to sleep."

"No, I really want to hear this."

"Okay…" Kurt adjusted the pillow that he was leaning on. "I had the same friends ever since elementary school and through middle school. I was never really the 'leader', I guess. That would definitely be Elliott. When my mom died, I wanted to be alone a lot, so I would always decline invitations that he and his family would send. I guess that's when he and my other friends became so close. Eventually, I became more outgoing again, but by then, he and my friends had become so close, and so used to not having me around. I think that I didn't realize that I noticed how they would always go home together, or talk about their weekend plans. It happened during middle school too, but they would lie right to my face. I know that this example is stupid, but around Halloween in 7th grade, they were all saying how they were too old for trick-or-treating after I asked them to go with me, but they ended up going without me. They would have gotten away with it if they didn't post pictures of themselves on Facebook." Kurt laughed slightly at the fact that Facebook and other social media sites were the cause of so much drama within his friends. "In 8th grade, I told them that I didn't believe in God, and I think that was the major turning point. Elliott and my two other best friends had all originally met in church, and that's why their moms were so close. And throughout that year, they started to distance themselves from me. On my first day of high school, I sat with them in the cafeteria because, well, I didn't have any other friends. I had spent the past 3 years trying so hard to fix that friendship that I hadn't even bothered trying to make new ones. I just didn't know how. What, do you just say, 'You guys treat me like crap, I'm finding new friends now'? I just couldn't do it, not after how many memories we had together. I sat with them every day during my freshman year, and every day, they would say less and less to me. So by the time that Glee started, I was basically ignored by the only friends that I had. That's why I was so excited to join Glee club. I wanted to make friends who had the same interests as me, and wouldn't desert me like my old friends had. So… I guess that's why you'll be better off on your first day. You already have friends who don't plan on leaving you any time soon."

"Well, your old friends are stupid, and they are missing out big-time on an amazing friend. They're probably spending their nights alone with their video games or something." Claire said.

"Thanks. But I doubt their spending their nights alone. Elliott is the new kicker for the football team, which automatically makes him super popular. Josh is captain of the soccer team. And you know Shane, Mercedes' boyfriend? We used to be friends. He used to be so small and quiet, and now he's… Well, you've seen him."

"Does Mercedes know that you two used to be friends?"

"Nope. Unless he told her. But I'm not going to say anything. They are both happy, and that makes me happy, I guess."

"Well, that's good."

"I would be even more happy if you told me why Blaine was here…"

"Not going to happen, Kurt!"

* * *

"Blaine!" Claire whispered loudly over the phone. It was around 2 in the morning, and Claire had just woken up from an amazing dream where she got to meet Anthony Rapp. Although she wanted to go back to sleep, hoping that the dream would repeat, she had a perfect idea. A better love song for Blaine. She had no idea why she thought of this in the middle of the night, and was still very tired so she didn't actually know why she was calling Blaine either.

"Claire. It's 2 AM. What's so important that you can't wait until school tomorrow?" Blaine sleeping spoke, barely enunciating and yawning into the phone.

"So I had this dream that I met Anthony Rapp and it was amazing and then I woke up right when he was about to hug me." Claire said quickly, somehow gaining more energy with each word.

"Good for you Claire. Now can I go back to sleep now?"

"But then when I woke up, I thought of Anthony, who made me think of Rent, which made me think of Idina Menzel, who reminded me of Wicked, and then I thought of Kristin Chenoweth and I found the perfect love song for you. It's perfect and it fits perfectly with the way that you met and its original sung by a girl but you could do it, and I know that you're fine with singing a song by a girl because I've heard you sing every Katy Perry song at least three times since I've came to Lima, and I'm glad I thought of it because-"

"Claire. It's 2 AM. Are you going to tell me or should I just go back to sleep?"

"'What If We Never?'"

"What if we never what?"

"That's the song. 'What If We Never?' by Kristin Chenoweth. Listen to it, and get back to me later. Good night, Blaine!" And with that, without waiting for a response, Claire clicked the End button on her phone. Sure, she woke Blaine early in the morning, and maybe he might not fall asleep again, but Claire felt that she did something good today. Smiling, she went back to sleep for the next few hours.

* * *

**IT'S BEEN A MONTH SINCE I UPDATED? NO! I DID NOT BECOME ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE. I GET REALLY MAD AT THOSE TYPES OF PEOPLE. So please don't be mad at me for not updating... I have good reasons. Well, some reasons are good. Let's start with the bad reasons. This chapter was never good to begin with. So I kept looking at it, trying to decide how I could make it somewhat decent. Weeks went by and I still didn't know what to do. I was thinking about doing a double post to make up for it, but really, this chapter was only about 700 words. Most of my chapters are somewhere in the mid-2000s, so this wasn't acceptable for me. Then, about two days ago, I was listening to my Lessons Learned CD and I heard "What If We Never?" and instantly thought of Kurt and Blaine meeting. And actually, about 10 minutes ago, I wrote the whole Kurt-Claire scene where he talks about his old friends. Through all 3 seasons of Glee, I've always wondered who the characters were friends with before Glee. I _totally _didn't base Kurt's friends off of my own... Pshhhh. But if I _did, _they all became cheerleaders instead of football players. **

**But that Halloween thing really happened. And 3 years later, I still remember it.**

**Anyways, I hope that this chapter is decent enough for you all. I'll try to post another one soon to make up for the last of updates. I really am sorry. I had no idea it had been so long... I've been working on other stories that I will hopefully post soon, though. **

**Thanks to everyone who is still reading, and I thank you in advance for-**

**You know what? I'm not going to ask for anything. I just want to say thank you to all of you who kept reading and kept this story alive while I did not. **

**New update soon =) Bye, everyone!**


	10. Chapter 10: Making a Friend

Claire walked into the choir room after a very uneventful day at school to find the word "Sectionals!" written in big letters on the whiteboard in the front of the room. She took a seat in between Kurt and Finn, as usual, and looked around to listen to everyone talk about the past year's competitions and opponents.

She had barely gotten past 3 members when Mr. Schuester came into the room.

"It is time to get ready for Sectionals!" The teacher erased the words from the whiteboard. "We thought of lots of ideas for our set list when we met at Lima Bean, but we need to start narrowing down our choices. The next few days will be filled with performances for possible numbers, and on Thursday, we have someone auditioning."

Claire joined the group as they cheered. Everyone was excited for Sectionals, and having new voices could improve the group.

"Who's auditioning?" Tina asked. Claire could hear someone muttering about hoping that it wasn't Sugar Motta again.

"We have…" Mr. Schue looked at the sign ups sheet. "Sam Evans, who is moving back to Lima because dad just got a job outside of town."

More cheers. _This club is always full of something exciting, _Claire thought. She looked around at the different expressions of the members. The boys were happy. Quinn looked as if she was trying not to show any emotion, which Santana quietly laughed as she whispered "Trouty Mouth" to Brittany.

"This year, we want you to pick a song that describes your feelings and the feelings of the group, not just a song that sounds good. It's our last year together, and we don't want to waste any minute of it. So dig deep into your hearts and your iTunes. If you want to pick groups, decide on them now so we can perform for the next few rehearsals."

Rachel, as usual, was the first to speak. "I already have a _perfect_ song." Rachel quickly began talking fast and shouting out her ideas.

"Claire?" Mr. Schuester said. "Do you want to sit out on this assignment? If you want to just watch this week, it's fine."

"Actually, this sounds really fun." Claire said. Quinn tapped her shoulder.

Claire moved to the empty seat next to Quinn, who was already getting a notebook and pen to jot ideas down.

"Hi, Claire!" Quinn said in a peppy voice. "I was wondering if you wanted to sing a duet with me. I had an idea with the song 'Hello' by Evanescence. Have you ever heard of it? Mr. Schue wanted us to have a song that reflects our true feelings, and I think 'Hello' would be perfect. It's your first real song for the club, besides your audition, and it's kind of about reconnecting. We're both saying "hello" to ourselves and to the club."

"I like it." Claire smiled. "I wouldn't have thought of that."

"Can you come over to my house after school tomorrow? We can practice and think of choreography, even though I doubt we'll need much for this song."

"Sure. This will be awesome."

* * *

Claire checked the address that Quinn had given her. It apparently was right, so she went up and rang the doorbell. A woman opened the door after about a minute or so of waiting.

"Hi, are you Claire?" The woman asked. "Quinn told me that you were coming over. I'm Quinn's mother. Call me Judy. Come on in."

"Thanks." Claire said as she looked around the huge house. Luckily, Quinn came down the stairs before Claire had to make a conversation with Judy. When she wasn't on stage or with people that she was close to, Claire's social skills were pretty sub-par. There were some people who Claire could relate to, and she was comfortable initiating a conversation with. But Judy? To be honest, Claire was a bit intimidated by her.

"Claire! I was listening to the song _all day._ I have a lot of ideas." Quinn gestured for Claire to follow her, so gave Judy a smile and a wave as she turned to walk up the stairs. When they reached Quinn's room, Claire took a seat on the pink comforter. Quinn got her laptop open, and Claire saw a picture of a baby in a picture frame.

"Is this your sister? She's adorable. How old is she?" Claire asked.

"She turned two in May. And she's actually my daughter. Her name is Beth."

"Oh." Claire said. She tried to act as normal as possible, but she has never _met_ a teen mom before. "She's really cute. And Beth is a pretty name. Is it short for Elizabeth? That's my middle name."

Quinn smiled. "Nope, it's just Beth. Puck chose it. Well, after I told him that we weren't naming her Jackie Daniels."

"_Jackie Daniels?_"

"Claire Elizabeth Devine, Claire Beth Devine… I think that Elizabeth sounds much better."

"Same. I was named after Kurt's mom, apparently she didn't like being called Liz either." There was a short awkward silence between the two. "Do you want to have another kid when you're older?"

"Maybe, but definitely not anytime soon. Even though Beth was a mistake, and I wouldn't redo it for the world, I don't want to go through that again until I'm married and out of college."

"When I'm older, I want lots of kids. I think I'll mostly adopt though. Giving birth sounds beyond painful." _Why did I just say that?_ Claire mentally smacked herself.

"Trust me, I couldn't wait for it to be over. Speaking of being over, we only have a few days to work on this song. Should we try singing through it? I know that the song is kind of low for us, so if we can't hit the notes we can ask Brad to change the key. I was thinking that I would take the first chorus, you take the second, and we join in on the third. Does that sound good?"

"Sure!" Claire said, looking over the lyrics. By now, she knew the song by heart. She sat and listened as Quinn's voice took a new turn- usually she sang upbeat and happy numbers with a fast tempo, and this was much slower. Claire had no idea that Quinn could even hit the notes. It didn't really surprise Claire, though, because she thought that Quinn was one of the most talented performers in Glee club.

"_Playground school bell rings again  
Rain clouds come to play again  
Has no one told you she's not breathing?  
Hello, I am your mind giving you someone to talk to  
Hello"_

The senior's voice was almost hypnotizing as it eerily rang through Claire's ears, almost making her miss her cue to sing. Subconsciously, Claire tried to imitate the mysterious effect in her own voice, and by the looks of Quinn's smile, she was doing a good job. In fact, Quinn didn't even join in at the end like she said that she would, she just let Claire continue to sing.

_"If I smile and don't believe  
Soon I know I'll wake from this dream  
Don't try to fix me, I'm not broken  
Hello, I am the lie living for you so you can hide  
Don't cry_

_Suddenly I know I'm not sleeping_  
_Hello, I'm still here_  
_All that's left of yesterday."_

* * *

Finn found Claire in their bedroom dancing around with headphones in her ears, using her hairbrush as a pretend microphone. He sat down on the white stairs, hidden from his cousin, and listened to her sing. Claire's voice and emotion fit the song perfectly; the beginning verse was sad and cold, and when the music changed to the chorus, it changed to almost yearning with a hint of angry regret. If a voice could reach out it's hand and ask for someone to hold onto, that's how Claire's voice seemed.

_"How can you see into my eyes like open doors?__  
__Leading you down into my core where I've become so numb__  
__Without a soul my spirit's sleeping somewhere cold__  
__Until you find it there and lead it back home__Wake me up inside__  
__Wake me up inside__  
__Call my name and save me from the dark__  
__Bid my blood to run__  
__Before I come undone__  
__Save me from the nothing I've become."_

As Finn attempted to silently get up from his sitting position on the stairs, the wooden railing creaked.

"Hello?" Claire asked with a hint of nervousness in her tone.

"Relax, it's just me. You're really good, by the way. If you were a senior, you'd probably be getting more solos. Mr. Schue is trying to give the solos to the upperclassmen this year. Is that what you're singing with Quinn?"

"Thanks." Claire said. "And no, it's not my song. But I've been listening to a lot of Evanescence lately. It's weird knowing that in two years, all of you will be out of high school."

"Well, maybe not all of us." Finn said, thinking of Brittany, the stereotypical dumb blonde of the group. Finn is still surprised that she hasn't been held back a grade yet. "But what I came down to tell you is that we're having a Welcome Back party for Sam on Thursday. I just wanted to tell you that if you know anyone else who would like to join, get them to sign up soon, preferably before Sectionals."

"I'll ask my friends, but no promises that they'll want to join. I'll just try to leave out the whole Slushie thing."

"Oh, and Rachel wanted me to tell you that the girls are putting together a song, and they wanted me to give you the lyrics and choreography, in case you wanted to sing it too. I just had them write down the dance, because we all know that I'm horrible at dance."

"Thanks. And trust me; you're not the only one. I'm thinking of asking Brittany for dance lessons or something. I'm still not used to having to dance every day. If I want to survive Sectionals without messing up, I need lots of help."

"Speaking of help…" Finn said, walking towards Claire. "I know that I've probably said this dozens of times, you do know that you can come to me if you ever need someone to talk to? I know I've said it before but… Sometimes when I was in middle school I felt like I couldn't really talk to anyone. Like, my mom was there, and I had tons of friends, but there are just some things that I just couldn't ask them, you know? When you first came here, I felt like you would instantly connect with Kurt since he is related to you, and I would just be there, and I don't want it to be like that."

"Finn, I consider you just as much of my cousin as I do about Kurt. And that's not going to change. I'm so glad that everyone here has welcomed me with open arms, and it's so nice to know that I have people here who I can trust. It's such a big difference from Boston."

"Good. Kurt and I are both graduating this year, and who knows where we'll be next year. I want to make this year great, and I want you to have a great year too. You know, in case you ever had to go back or something-" Finn immediately stopped himself. Claire had _just_ mentioned how she liked Lima more than Boston, and there he goes talking about her moving back.

"You can't get rid of me, Finn! No matter how hard you and Kurt try, I don't plan on leaving anytime soon." Claire smiled as she threw a pillow at Finn. As long as her family here let her stay, she was all set to stay here and never return to her old life.

* * *

**Someone really needs to remind me when I'm supposed to be updating. This isn't really _that_ late though... Anyways, I'm writing a bunch of stories right now that I will soon be posting online! Feel free to review or comment... Contrary to popular belief, I don't bite. And if you have any ideas about relationships you want me to focus on, stuff like that, tell me, because I am adding a lot more to future chapters (well, I'm getting rid of a useless sub-plot that only made me frustrated, so I'm replacing it with better stuff). In the next chapter, look forward to the Glee guys singing, a twist about the phone call from Marissa (remember back in chapter one?), and a nightmare that's effects will lead into the following chapter. I'm pretty excited =) Let's see if I can remember to update this week! See you all soon!**


	11. Chapter 11: Compromise and Consternation

**A/N: I don't want to give too much away for those who want to read, but the last part of this chapter deals with Claire's abuse. If you are not comfortable reading that, you can either skip this chapter all together, or scroll to the very bottom of this chapter for a summary of what happened. If you want to read all but that triggering section, it is after the 4th line break, so you can stop reading there. I just wanted to warn any readers who may feel uncomfortable with reading that. For the rest of you, enjoy the chapter!**

* * *

When Claire got into her gym class, she saw that Taryn was already there, throwing a tennis ball against a cement wall. Her golden, wavy hair swished across her back as she moved towards the ball. Claire had always wanted hair that color. When she was younger, and she didn't know how to keep her hair healthy, Claire's hair used to tangle at the slightest movement, and sometimes she mentally compared her tangled, knotted hair to a small bird's nest. Taryn didn't notice Claire until the ball had bounced so far away from her that she turned around and saw her friend. "Hi, Claire! I love gym class. Don't you? I hope we get to run on the track today. Or play basketball. Or soccer. I'm on the school basketball team. And the town soccer team for high school girls. And I'm not on a team for track, but it's still fun."

"I guess it's fun. I've never really been a sportsy person, though. Want to know what else is fun? Glee club."

"Claire, I'm not joining Glee club. You've already asked me. And I've already said no. I don't sing." Taryn turned away to as she continued to throw the ball. "If I did, don't you think I would have joined already?

"But it's not just that!" Claire said, following the girl. "If we win competitions, we get to go to Nationals in Chicago! We really want to win, and we only have 15 people. We really want a bigger variety of voices. We have almost no high sopranos."

"Again, I can't sing. And I never ask you to join the soccer team, because I know that you wouldn't like it as much as I do. We need more members just like you do." She turned back and threw the ball, her aim extremely off, but not even moving towards the ball, which was now rolling towards Claire.

"I have an idea," Claire began, picking up the ball that had bounced towards her. "I'll join soccer if you join Glee club. Glee is right after school, and I heard that soccer doesn't start until later, right? I heard Finn say that the town sports teams for our age usually start later because the younger age groups are earlier in the afternoon. Maybe we'll find something new that we like."

"What if you don't make the team and I get into Glee?"

"What if you don't make Glee and I get on the team? We could try anyway." Claire smiled, tossing the ball back to Taryn.

"Fine. Tryouts are tonight." Taryn sighed, catching the ball without paying much attention. "But no promises that I'll get into Glee club."

* * *

Monday afternoon Glee Club rehearsals are always one of the hardest, especially for Claire, who is still getting used to the constant rehearsals. She already regretted promising to Taryn that she would try to get on the soccer team, knowing that it would give Claire even less free time than she already had. Taryn was scheduled to audition on Thursday, the same day that Sam Evans would be returning to Glee. Even though it was fun working with Quinn, Claire couldn't wait for Sectionals to be over. She and Blaine had to listen to everyone talk about last year's competition, because Finn seemed to always get annoyed when Blaine brought up something about the Warblers at Blaine's old school. The two of them spent their time talking about which Disney movies they should watch at the next Glee club sleepover.

"Blaine, are coming over on Friday?" Claire asked her cousin's boyfriend.

"Not this week, the Warblers have their Sectionals and my friends asked me to come see it. You can come too, if you want. Kurt was going to come too. We were going to meet with the guys after and go out to Breadstix."

"Sure! Well, if you guys don't mind me being there or anything. I don't really want to be a third-wheel or anything."

"Claire, I would mind more if you _weren't_ there. And, you're the only person in the New Directions who haven't heard the Warblers yet. If we both win our Sectionals, then we'll be facing them at Reigonals."

Puck interrupted the conversation. "Blaine, we're up. You ready?"

Claire smiled at her friend. "Don't mess up!"

It wasn't until then that Claire remembered that the Glee club were singing possible Sectionals songs for the next few days. The boys were performing today. It seemed so different, singing on the stage in the auditorium and then going to the simple choir room. Everyone sounded great in both places, and it was hard for Claire to pick a weaker performer from the group. Of course, with Claire's amount of self-confidence, she thought that she was the weakest link, but the other members of the group seemed to think that Claire was pretty good. Either that, or they were just acting like she was good. For her mind's sake, Claire liked to believe that she really was good.

The song began with Puck singing the first verse, with Blaine and Mike singing backup. Claire wondered why Finn didn't get the main solo, since the other kids always talk about how many solos he always got. The band began with intense energy, and the vocals worked perfectly with the song.

_I took a walk around the world to__  
__Ease my troubled mind__  
__I left my body lying somewhere__  
__In the sands of time__  
__I watched the world float to the dark__  
__Side of the moon__  
__I feel there is nothing I can do, yeah__I watched the world float to the__  
__Dark side of the moon__  
__After all I knew it had to be something__  
__To do with you__  
__I really don't mind what happens now and then__  
__As long as you'll be my friend at the end_

The rest of the boys joined in with the chorus, each going up to one of the girls. It took a minute for her to realize, but all of the boys who had girlfriends were singing to them, Mike to Tina and Finn to Rachel, but the rest of the boys found another girl to sing to. Artie to Brittany (maybe in attempt to restart their relationship), Puck and Santana, Kurt to Mercedes, and Blaine to Claire.

_If I go crazy then will you still__  
__Call me Superman__  
__If I'm alive and well, will you be__  
__There holding my hand__  
__I'll keep you by my side with__  
__My superhuman might__  
__Kryptonite_

The rest of the verses were divided up into lines of solos. Each person got a line or two, and the rest of the guys sang backup, When the chorus came back around, the guys brought the girls up to sing and dance along with them.

_You called me strong, you called me weak__  
__But still your secrets I will keep__  
__You took for granted all the times I__  
__Never let you down__  
__You stumbled in and bumped your head, if__  
__Not for me then you'd be dead__  
__I picked you up and put you back__  
__On solid ground__If I go crazy then will you still__  
__Call me Superman__  
__If I'm alive and well, will you be__  
__There holding my hand__  
__I'll keep you by my side with__  
__My superhuman might__  
__Kryptonite_

_If I go crazy then will you still__  
__Call me Superman__  
__If I'm alive and well, will you be__  
__There holding my hand__  
__I'll keep you by my side with__  
__My superhuman might__  
__Kryptonite_

* * *

After soccer tryouts that night, Claire could barely feel her legs. She ran laps, dribbled and passed the ball, and even shot a few goals. Still, she wasn't the best one there. She was totally fine with not getting on the team. Actually, she sort of hoped that she didn't get on the team. Claire was already so busy, and adding one more thing to her schedule wasn't the best idea.

_Is this how Taryn feels?_ Claire thought to herself, thinking about how she constantly bombarded her friends about joining Glee, not even considering if they would enjoy it? Trying to massage some feeling back into her legs, Claire wondered if Taryn was even going to audition for Glee. At this point, Claire wouldn't blame her if she didn't. But, Claire _did_ at least try out, and she would hope that Taryn would do the same…

* * *

Claire sat in her bed that night for hours. She listened to her iPod. She had an hour-long group chat with Taryn, Roger, and Hazel before they eventually fell asleep, Taryn even falling asleep while still online. Claire didn't realize this until about 25 minutes after Taryn's last, half-written message.

As the minutes kept changing on the clock, Claire stared at the light that was glowing across the room. On most nights, she didn't mind a little bit of light, and she usually didn't even notice it. But tonight, the room seemed so much brighter than usual. At about one in the morning, Claire tried to quietly creep up the stairs. Maybe sitting in the kitchen with a glass of milk could help. But when she got to the top of the stairs, she didn't hear silence. Burt and Carole were sitting in the kitchen, and it sounded like they were arguing about something. Just as Claire was about to turn back down the stairs, she heard her name in the conversation.

"We have to tell Marissa that Claire is here. You don't know what she has the capability to do. If she finds out, she could accuse us of kidnapping Claire, just for the money that she could gain. Elizabeth was the only one who was blood-related to Claire. We have no proof that Claire came here on her own. Who would believe that Claire had enough money to come over here, and didn't even tell her guardian? The story just screams 'LIES' on it, people would think it was either a kidnapping or just another run-away teenager."

"Are you saying that she should go back? She _can't_ go back." Carole shot her words at him, enunciating every syllable. Claire could tell that Carole wanted to yell, but tried to be as quiet as she could. Her voice was full of anger, appalled that Burt would even suggest that they should Call Marissa. "Although she hasn't told me much about Marissa, I can tell that there some sort of abuse. I don't know if it was just verbal or physical, but Marissa's house is _not safe for her. _This isn't just another teenage run-away, this is much more serious."

"I know that it isn't! Do you think that I _want_ her to go back to that monster of an aunt? No! I have no doubt in my mind that Marissa is just waiting for the opportunity to seriously hurt Claire so that she won't have to deal with her. I just think that she needs to know where Claire is before she makes up some sort of lie to take Claire back. It wouldn't be the first time!" Burt's voice got louder on that last line. Claire couldn't bear to listen anymore. But what _was_ the first time?

"Didn't you talk to Marissa before Claire came here? Isn't that who you talked to on the phone?"

"I thought so, but the more I thought about it, I'm not sure if it really was Marissa or not. She tried calling again, and left a message, but I didn't want to talk to her. I didn't know what I was supposed to say. When she called, her voice was so mumbled and I couldn't understand her. But I did hear her mention Claire's name. Either Marissa was too drunk to remember the conversation when she let Claire come to Lima, or she's just trying to manipulate us. It's not like that hasn't happened before. Or maybe, it wasn't Marissa on the phone."

Carole was silent for a moment, as if she knew that Claire was there. It would be impossible to see her, though, since Claire was still at the stairs, hidden from view. Carole then began to speak, a hushed tone coming over her voice. "Do you really think that Claire would pretend to be her aunt just to get away?"

Claire couldn't take anymore. She quickly tiptoed down the stairs, slightly not caring about the noise that she was making. When she got back into her bed, she just cried and cried, trying to be quiet for Kurt, who was in the next room. She got out her iPod and put the music on Shuffle, hoping that any song would cheer her up. But 24 songs went by, and Claire was still worried about what might happen when Marissa finds out that she has been with the Hummels for the past few weeks. She wasn't sure what she was more afraid of- knowing that Marissa could hurt her or knowing that this new life with the Hummels might be over. And when Burt said that it "wasn't the first time" that Marissa had lied to him, what did he mean? Did he mean that Marissa had lied and manipulated Burt before? Or was he still talking about Marissa getting Claire back? When would Claire have to be taken back to Marissa, didn't she live with her wicked aunt since her parents' death? In the end, she realized that out of everything that Claire had just heard, she was most afraid about Burt and Carole learning more about the phone call, and Claire having to deal with the consequences of her lies. Claire hated lying to her new family, but she had to lie, for her own protection. Right?

* * *

_Claire found herself in an empty house. She went downstairs into the near-empty basement, which was completely bare except for its wooden floor, cracked cement walls, broken wooden bed, and an old blanket and pillow full of rips and holes. As Claire looked around, she realized: this was her bedroom. The bedroom that she had slept in for years, just as cold and gloomy as it was when she left it._

_The small room, with its wooden floors and cobwebs hanging from each corner of the ceiling, smells like dust and mold. Claire could have sworn that she saw a couple of spiders crawling in the corners. As usual, she tried to ignore the spiders, but she could almost feel them crawling up and around her body._

"_Kurt?" Claire whispered. The room seemed so empty and bare, so quiet, that any noise above a whisper was sure to break something. "Carole?"_

_No response._

"_Kurt?" Claire said, a bit louder. "Carole? Burt? Finn?"_

"_You won't find any of them here." A familiar voice said with a small chuckle. Claire looked around, there was no one there. She took a few steps around the small room, walking the diameter of the oddly-shaped area, looking behind the bed. No one was there. But Claire knew the voice. She could recognize it any day. _

_Before Claire could say anything, she fell onto the floor, what felt like someone pushing her. But there was still no one there. An imaginary force had knocked her completely off of her feet. Claire could hear the creak of the wood panels as her tailbone hit the ground. Although Claire tried to get up, that force that had pushed her was keeping her down._

_The figure with the voice emerged from the smoky stairs. "Hi, Claire. I've missed you, so much. You should come back home with me. The house is too quiet without your screaming."_

"_I'm not going with you, Marissa!" Claire yelled. "I never will! Kurt, Finn, help me!"_

_Marissa jumped onto the girl and held her against the rock-hard walls. Her breath smelled like a mixture of alcohol and cigarette smoke. "They __can't help you__ Claire! What did you expect, you could just run away to new place and start fresh? __You can't run away from me, Claire.__ Try as I may, I always somehow get stuck with you."_

"_Let go of me!" The girl struggled. "They love me more than you ever did, Marissa!"_

"_You really think that? They aren't made of money! Think about how much money they are __wasting__ on you! You should have been with your parents when they died, it would make life easier for everyone!"_

_And that was when Marissa punched Claire right in the cheek._

"_I will never come back to you!"_

_More abuse. More struggling. Finally, Marissa picked Claire off of the ground by the hair on Claire's head, and dragged the girl up the stairs. Up three flights of stairs. Claire hadn't even known that this house even had so many stairs. Or maybe it just seemed like more than usual since her eyes were closed, Each step hit Claire's face, and each step was left with blood and tears. Claire kept her eyes closed to try to prevent the scratches to her eyes. When she opened her eyes again, she was being held over the street, hanging out of the window._

"_AHHHHHHHHHHH!" Claire screamed as her devil aunt dropped her from the fourth floor of the building. Claire didn't even remember there being four floors of her house, but counting the floors of her old house was not one of her top priorities right now. _

_As Claire was falling, she saw the Hummels, and she tried to shout to them. But no sound could come out. She couldn't even scream anymore. And the Hummels just walked away, not noticing, not seeing this helpless teenage girl falling out of the window. Then, Claire saw her parent's car. It was driving away, towards the end of the street, which had a sharp turn that, if not timed correctly, would result in a car driving off of the cliff and into the deep water._

"_Mom! Dad!" Claire somehow managed to get those two words out. And as the two looked up, distracted by the falling girl and not paying attention to driving, the car drove right off of the cliff and into the water._

"_NOOOOOOOOO!" Claire screamed again. And then she realized that she had almost reached the street. It seemed as if she would soon be able to touch it. Her head still bleeding, her eyes still crying, her lungs ran out of air right as Claire was about to hit the ground._

And then she woke up.

* * *

**AH, THE SUSPENSE! I have to say, I was just rereading and editing this chapter, and when Claire's nightmare came up, my heart started racing. I'm the author, I know what happened, and I was still scared! I hope that you guys liked it though! To date, it is the longest chapter that I have posted in A Touch Of Fear! 3,080 words, excluding author's notes! YAY! Oh, and I know that the soccer part was kind of short, I just really wanted something else that was somewhat happy because I thought that the nightmare would just be too powerful if basically the whole chapter was about that. More of Claire's nightmares will come soon. Oh! And I'm excited to hear about the other time that Burt was talking about! I haven't actually written it yet, so I'm not quite sure how it will go, but as I was writing this chapter I had a few ideas... Anyways, did you guys like the nightmare part? Well, I hope that you didn't _like_ it, because I don't like putting my characters through pain, but I hope that it conveyed the emotions that I was aiming for. I had this idea in my head about how Claire's old house looked like, and I tried to describe it as well as I could. My heart is still beating pretty fast, so I'm going to go listen to something relaxing for a while before I have to go to sleep. Well, I have to wake up in 8 hours for work, so I'm not sure how much sleep I'll actually get... Okay, bye everyone! Have a good week! See you when I update again!**

* * *

**CHAPTER SUMMARY FOR THOSE WHO DID NOT WANT TO READ THE ABUSIVE SECTIONS: Claire is still trying to get Taryn and her friends to join Glee club, and eventually tells Taryn that Claire will try out for the town soccer team if Taryn auditions for Glee club. Blaine invites Claire to go with him and Kurt to the Warbler's Sectionals competition, since she is the only one who hasn't seen their possible future competition perform. After trying out for the soccer team, Claire realizes that she doesn't like soccer as much as Taryn does, and it will probably be the same with Taryn in Glee. That night, when Claire can't sleep, she hears Burt and Carole talking about how Marissa may pull something to get Claire back to Boston, and that they will have no proof that Claire came to Lima on her own. When she eventually falls asleep, Claire has a nightmare, with her brain replaying the abuse that she endured for the past 10 years.**


	12. Chapter 12: On and Off

And then she woke up. She woke up hyperventilating, instinctively running her fingers through her hair. _No blood, no scratches. I'm okay. Claire, you're okay._

But she wasn't okay. The fact that her subconscious could remember details so vividly worried her. The things that Marissa had said had seemed so… so real.

Claire looked at the clock. 4:30 AM. It was too early for Claire to sit and wait for Kurt to wake up. So she decided to get up and walk to the kitchen. Each tiny squeak on the steps seemed to scare Claire even more.

When Claire got to the kitchen, she saw Carole sitting at the table. "Carole?"

"Claire, honey, why are you awake?"

"Bad dreams, I guess."

"Want to talk about them?"

"Not particularly." Even the slight thought of those dreams caused fear and pain throughout Claire's body. "But thanks anyway."

Both of them sat silently for what felt like a few minutes.

"Claire, I need to ask you something, and I need you to tell me the absolute truth. I won't be mad at you."

"Um, sure." Claire was worried about what Carole was going to ask, although she had an idea it had to do with the conversation that she overheard the previous night.

"Does Marissa know where you are?" Carole asked. Claire refused to answer, so she repeated her question. "_Does Marissa know where you are?"_

"No." Claire whispered. "I pretended to be her on the phone when I talked to Burt. Carole, I heard you talk to Burt last night. What was the first time that Marissa lied? That's all I want to know." The words just flowed out of Claire's mouth, not even thinking when she spoke. Her brain was not at all connected to her mouth at this moment.

"Claire, I-"

"I can go back if you want me to. I can sell back those clothes that Kurt and I bought and pay for my own plane ticket. I really don't mean to be a bother. I really should have asked before I practically showed up on your doorstep." Claire found a few tears starting to form in her eyes. "I just didn't think. I had been saving up money for this for years, and I never really thought about how it would affect other people."

Carole stood up and walked over to Claire, holding her in a soft, warm hug. A hug… something that Claire wasn't used to until she came to Lima. "No, Claire. You can't leave now. You can't go back to Marissa. Burt and I are going to do everything that we can to make sure that you never have to go back to her. But that can't happen if you keep thinking that you are a bother. Because Claire, you're family now."

Their moment was interrupted by Claire's cell phone lighting up from the charger on the table. _Who would be texting a 4:30 AM?_

"It's… Blaine. Why is he up this early?" Claire asked rhetorically.

_Are you awake? I doubt you are, but still. Tell me when you are up. –B_

"Why is he texting me, not Kurt?" Claire said, not necessarily towards anyone. She quickly typed back.

_Yeah, I'm up. You sure this wasn't meant for Kurt? –C_

_Claire, C and K are pretty hard to mix up. Anyway, I needed someone to talk to. –B_

_Carole's up too. You can come over if you want. –C_

_Can we drive around? I need to get my mind off of things. We can grab breakfast and drive to school later. –B_

_Sure. I'll get dressed. Text me when you're outside. –C_

Claire told Carole where she was going, although it was very vague because Blaine had never actually said where they were going, and got dressed quickly. She waited outside on the front steps of the house for a few minutes before Blaine's car pulled into the driveway.

"Hey, why are you up so early?" Claire asked as she got into the car. Then she noticed a huge bruise on Blaine's face. "Oh my God, Blaine! What happened?"

"Can we go to the park? I don't really trust myself talking and driving at the same time."

"Want me to go wake up Kurt? He could drive." Claire thought with a worried expression. Blaine started the car, mind wandering far away. "Will you tell me what happened to your face when we get there?"

Blaine didn't answer. He continued driving until he reached the parking lot of a park. Claire remembered that Kurt had told Claire that this is the one park near Lima that was open so early in the morning. Apparently, some people liked to jog around, fish in the pond, or watch the sun rise. He also said that he often went there with Rachel and Mercedes, since it was in walking distance from Rachel's house. Even though there wasn't much to do at 5 AM, Claire could see a reflection of the rising and the stars in the pond. She could see a playground in the distance. And when she turned to the left, she saw Blaine start to cry.

"Blaine, please, talk to me." Claire said.

"I just…" The tears started to pour out of his eyes. This was the most that Claire had even seen anyone cry. Well, Claire always refused to look in the mirror when she was crying because of the bruises that went along with the tears, and by the looks of Blaine's cheek, Claire was glad that she never looked.

"If you just want to cry and let it all out, I understand. Most people can't truly say this, but I know how you feel right now."

"It was my dad…again." Blaine said, through the tears in his eyes. "He… he l-looked onto my phone b-bill and s-saw how much I was texting K-Kurt. And… h-he kept calling me such n-nasty things. And he kept h-hitting me and th-throwing me around. And I-I c-couldn't do anything about it, Claire. He d-doesn't know that I have a l-limit for how much I can t-take. Every day, I t-try to please him and m-make him proud of me. B-but he just… He _h-hates _me, Claire. And that's w-why I wanted to talk to you, C-Claire. I l-look at you, and you're s-such a good person, d-despite everything that happened to you. A-and I'm jealous that you could r-run away from everything and start over. I can't do that."

"But, Blaine, I ran away from Marissa, not from my problems. I mean, the reason that I was awake so early was because of this nightmare that I had about Marissa. I can still feel her cold, dry hands gripping my arms. I really wish I could give you a magic spell and have all of your problems disappear, but I can't. All I can say is that you can take all of this negative energy and make it into something better. You can refuse to be the victim."

"That's exactly w-what I said to Kurt about Karofsky." Blaine said. The sobbing had subsided into sniffling and a few tears. _Claire is such an amazing person, _Blaine said. _Kurt is so lucky to have her in his family. I wish that I had someone like that._

"I know what it's like, trying to please someone so much, and having them just throw you to the ground. Literally. I always tried to do my best, but Marissa would just tear every bit of self-esteem that I still had. I remember one time in 4th grade, and I came home all excited because I got the lead in our class play. It was about the rainforest, and I was the narrator. And when I told Marissa, she pushed me down the stairs and told me that she would never see such a disappointment like me on stage. I was too ugly, too fat, too dumb, too everything for her."

"But, you aren't any of those things, Claire."

"But at the time, I didn't know that." Claire unlocked her iPod and went into her pictures. Blaine looked and saw a small 10-year-old with tear-stained cheeks wearing a ripped up white dress. The dress with the blue sash, that Claire had told Blaine about before. "You see this? This is me in 5th grade, at graduation. Look in the background, all of the pretty girls in their flowery dresses and handsome boys in new suits, taking pictures with their families. And look at me. Marissa wouldn't buy me a dress. So I had to wear this old one. The rips are from Marissa, as you would expect. Look at all 82 pounds of me. I wasn't overweight. I was actually on the higher end of normal. But to Marissa, I was fat. I don't even know how I reached that weight. I had to cook my own meals, and I barely knew how to make anything that didn't come from a can or a box."

Claire paused as she looked at the picture. "And the only time that I ever felt pretty was when I was sitting in my room, wearing that dress. But right before the graduation, she told me that she had never seen an uglier fat-ass in her whole life."

"Claire, I wish I could go up to that Marissa and make sure she realized how miserable she made your life."

"You know what? I don't. Truthfully, I'm jealous of _you._ You seem so, so calm and no one would ever expect that your dad was like that. I ran away, and all of the problems that Marissa caused came with me. I look in the mirror, and… and I still don't see what everyone else says that they see. But Blaine, I want you to be able to look at yourself and not be like me. Wherever you go in life, you don't need to bring your father's anger with you."

"It's nice to have someone who went through this to talk to. Well, I don't like the fact that someone else was abused and stuff, but I just feel like I can't talk to Kurt about this. He doesn't know what it's like, he won't get it the way we do. I try not to talk about my family with Kurt. I feel like he would go all diva on my dad. And…I usually don't want to talk about it. I know it's bad to keep things bottled up, but…" Blaine said as he looked at the clock and started up the car. "We should probably go. We've been sitting here for an hour, and I don't know if park security or whatever has videos to see how long we were here. Hot chocolate at Lima Bean? By the time we're done, we can get to school a few minutes early."

"Of course, Blaine." Claire said, giving him a hug. "And if you ever need someone to talk to, I promise you that I will _always_ be here for you. And don't worry, I won't tell anyone about this, not even Kurt."

As Claire and Blaine drove away, they saw a girl in the window of one of the houses. They didn't recognize her, since they passed the house before they could really notice, but they guessed that it was probably a McKinley student getting ready for school. Unbeknownst to Claire and Blaine, the girl said, "Blaine was with a girl? I have to tell Kurt."

* * *

"Finn, I'm telling you, Blaine was in a car, hugging a girl, in the park early this morning. I saw them drive away. I was getting ready for school and I saw him. I know it was him. It was his car, his license plate. I have to tell Kurt before Blaine hurts him even more."

"You memorized his license plate? That's borderline creepy, Rachel. There was probably a reason for it. You can't just assume things, especially things as severe as that."

"Kurt would always have my help him find Blaine's car in the Dalton parking lot, I know the first four letters. But why else would he be there so early in the morning? It was well before school."

"Whatever it was, it's none of your business. It's none of _our_ business. So please, Rachel, for once, stay out of it?" Finn asked his girlfriend. He just knew that there must have been a good excuse for Blaine, if it even _was_ Blaine in the car, to be out that early with a girl. Finn thought about when he and Rachel thought that Kurt was cheating on Blaine with Sam Evans, and how wrong their predictions were. "I have to go to class, _please_ don't say anything to Kurt."

"Sure." Rachel said. And as soon as Finn walked away, Rachel took out her cell phone.

_Kurt, I NEED to tell you something. Now. _

* * *

Claire sat in the choir room later that day, sitting next to Blaine and talking about which book series was better, Harry Potter or The Hunger Games. Claire was positive that Harry wouldn't be able to survive the Games like Katniss did, but Blaine argued that Harry's spells were much more powerful than the survival skills that Katniss knew. Blaine also was tempted to ask Mr. Schuester if the Glee club could have a tribute week for A Very Potter Musical, while Claire believed that they should pay respect to the fallen tributes.

"Claire, the tributes aren't real! How can we pay respect to an imaginary character?"

"So are you telling me that you didn't cry when Fred died?"

"That's not fair, Fred is totally real to me."

"And so is Finnick, Clove, Prim-"

"Prim wasn't a tribute!"

"She almost was!"

Kurt walked into the choir room, with a look mixed of sadness and anger. Claire thought that he was mad at her or something, but he just walked over to Blaine. "What were you doing this morning?"

"What are you talking about, Kurt?"

"I know that you were at the park this morning Blaine. Rachel told me that you were in your car with a girl."

"_Rachel told you?" _Finn angrily said, getting out of his seat and walking over to her. "I gave you _one simple instruction_, Rachel. And that was not to tell Kurt!"

"_I did what I thought was best!"_ Rachel exclaimed back at her boyfriend.

Blaine tried to respond to Kurt. "Kurt, I was with-"

"No, don't talk to me, Blaine. I need time… I don't know how long." Kurt sighed, and walked out of the room, wiping tears from his eyes.

"Rachel, are you _trying_ to ruin my family?" Finn shouted at her. "We're done." He walked out of the room as well.

The rest of the group sat silently, still trying to comprehend what just happened. One breakup, maybe even two, in a matter of seconds.

"Wow." Tina said.

"I'm going to go find Kurt." Mercedes said. "Can you at least explain to me what happened, Blaine? Were you really in a car with a girl this morning?"

Blaine groaned and looked at Claire.

"It was me." Claire said.

"Whoa, dude." Puck said. "Cheating on your boyfriend's cousin is _not_ cool."

Claire got up. "Blaine didn't cheat on anyone! Does this whole club revolve around relationship drama?" By now Claire was shouting at the club, just as loud and full of anger as Finn had a few minutes ago. "I was having nightmares, okay? For the past few days, I've been having these nightmares about Marissa. And as crazy as this sounds, they are more realistic than anything. I could feel every time that I was pushed to the floor, being dragged up the stairs by my hair, and being pushed out the window. Truthfully, I'm surprised that I didn't wake up covered in blood. I didn't want to wake up and bother Kurt or Finn, and when Blaine texted me, we decided that I needed a distraction. So, Mercedes, please tell Kurt that Blaine was trying to comfort his scared cousin, and that she is ready to go back to Boston whenever he says the word." Claire stomped out of the room, ignoring Blaine trying to catch up to her.

"Wow, Rachel." Blaine said, just as he was about to walk out the door. "Usually, you're just annoying, but that was just plain mean. Claire's going to go back to that demon that made her life miserable. Did you know that her aunt basically ripped every piece of self-esteem that Claire had? And Claire is still afraid. When she looks in the mirror, she doesn't see the nice, sweet girl that we see. And now she's going to go back to people saying that she would be better off dead like her parents, thanks to you." He ran out of the room to try to find Claire.

"Blaine, wait, I'll help you find her. Mercedes is going to find Kurt. Puck, you go find Finn." Quinn said, getting up from her seat. "And Rachel, try not to screw up anyone else's lives while we're gone."

As she and the two boys walked out, Mr. Schuester walked into the room. "Wow, small group today. Where are they going?"

No one said a word, and Rachel walked out as well. Not to apologize, but just to walk and get some anger out. Why is the Glee club always turning on her? Even though it is sometimes her fault…

Tina spoke up. "Just… a lot of drama today. Basically, Claire had a nightmare about her aunt, and so she and Blaine drove around this morning to get her mind off of things. Rachel saw them hugging at the park, and she didn't recognize Claire, so she assumed that Blaine was cheating on Kurt. Now Finn broke up with Rachel, and we have no idea what's going on between Kurt and Blaine."

"All Kurt said was that 'he needed time'." Santana added.

"Wait," Brittany said. "I thought that Kurt left to go get a clock." Everyone stared at their resident 'dumb blonde', wondering how she had gotten to her senior year without being held back a grade.

Mr. Schuester tried to comprehend what was going on. "So where is everyone?"

"Mercedes is trying to find Kurt," Artie explained. "Puck is with Finn, and Quinn and Blaine are with Claire. Now that I think of it… Where's Rachel?" The group looked around, they realized that Rachel had left without anyone noticing.

"Does it matter?" Santana jeered. "She caused all of this."

The group was silent. "So," Mr. Schuester said. "Should we just cancel rehearsal today?"

* * *

"Finn? Finn?" Puck shouted through the halls, ignoring the teachers who were asking him to be quiet. Finally, he found his friend in the locker room, his eyes red as if he was about to cry. "Dude, if you're going to cry, shouldn't it be somewhere where Karofsky and Azimio won't look?"

"Thanks for the support," Finn sarcastically remarked. "But there's no football today, and I saw them leave already. I just… I told Rachel not to tell Kurt, and she did! And Rachel didn't even care! It's like Sunshine all over again!" Finn thought of when Rachel sent a new girl to a crack house in attempt to have her not join Glee club, because Rachel was jealous of the girl's talent. "Claire is one of the best things that happened in this family. I knew that my mom always wanted a daughter, and I wanted a younger sister… My mom always wanted to go shopping for all of those cute girl clothes, talk to her about boys and clothes and mean, popular girls, and I was never that." Finn was quiet for a moment. "I know that this is a bad time to bring up, but when I found out that Quinn was having a girl, I felt bad for my mom. I told her that if it was a girl, she could do the clothes shopping and stuff… I just don't want Claire to go back."

"I don't think that Claire is going to move back. I _know_ that Claire won't go back. Want to know why? You and Kurt left before Blaine explained everything. Claire was having nightmares and needed someone to comfort her, and she didn't want to bother you or Kurt. Blaine just happened to be awake. It was _Claire_ in the car."

"Now I hate Rachel even more!" Finn shouted. "Does she know that is was Claire?"

"Well, now she does. But she didn't before, when she told Kurt. I saw Mike in the hallway; Mr. Schuester cancelled rehearsal today so we could try to clear all of this up. Mercedes is with Kurt, trying to explain the whole situation with him. And Blaine and Quinn are with Claire, convincing her not to move back-"

"_Claire wants to move back to Boston?_" Finn stammered. "Where is she, I need to talk to her."

"My advice, don't go to her right now. Let Blaine and Quinn use their Claire-magic, and talk to her when you get home. Make her feel like she's part of your family-"

"She _is_ part of my family, Puck. I've never seen my mom this happy, besides her wedding last year."

"I know, but make sure she knows that. We know that her life will be miserable if she goes back. I don't know if she does, though. Look at how awesome your family has been, Finn. Claire would be crazy if she went back. So let's wipe those tears, and maybe throw a football around to get your mind off of things?"

* * *

"Kurt, listen to me!" Mercedes said. "Blaine told us the whole story right after you left. It's not what Rachel said it was!"

"How do you know that he wasn't lying? Think about how long he's been lying to me, Mercedes! How long has this been? Days? Weeks? Months? We haven't even been dating for a year, and-"

"He _hasn't_ been lying to you, Kurt. Now, look at me in the eyes, or I won't tell you what really happened."

"But maybe I don't _want to-"_

"It was Claire in the car. She was having nightmares about Marissa lately. I don't know why she didn't just wake you up or something, but the two of them just happened to be awake and they both needed a distraction."

"How do you know that it wasn't just a cover up?"

"Because _Claire_ was the one who told us. Not Blaine. After you and Finn ran out, she told us the whole thing. You should have _seen _how mad everyone was at Rachel. We all want everything to work out with Claire, and with Blaine."

"Why didn't Claire just wake me up? I feel like the worst cousin ever. I told her that she could always talk to me…"

"Claire _idolizes_ you, Kurt. You haven't noticed that she tries extra hard to learn about the things that you like, know all of your friends by name, hell, she even joined Glee club because of you! She hasn't had any other men in her life to look up to after her dad died, and she just loves everything that you do."

"Then why didn't she tell me about her nightmares?"

"Maybe she didn't want to worry you. She's trying to fit in with your family, Kurt, and she sees you guys as perfect."

"_Shit_. Do you know where she is? Or Blaine? I am the worst human being to walk the earth."

"I don't know exactly, but I know that Quinn and Blaine are finding Claire. Puck is with Finn, and Mr. Schuester cancelled rehearsal today so we could all help you guys."

"Well, if Blaine and Claire are together, that'll save me the extra talking. As long as Rachel isn't with them… I still don't think I'm ready to talk to her yet. I don't know when I'll be ready to talk to her."

* * *

"Claire, listen to me, you didn't do anything wrong." Quinn said, sitting next to the crying girl Quinn finally found Claire in the girl's bathroom, and so she told Blaine to wait and see if Kurt was okay. "But you can't go back to Boston. Kurt and Finn and Burt and Carole, they just love you too much to see you go. And all of us in Glee love you too much too. Maybe some people show their love differently than others, but…"

"That's exactly what I always thought about Marissa." Claire said, wiping her eyes. The few occasional tears were nothing compared to the sobbing from 5 minutes ago. "That some people just show love differently. And truthfully, I'm not used to all of this love. I just… Ever since I was 11, I've been saving up babysitting money for a flight to Ohio. And the whole time, it seemed like some sort of fantasy world to me. Everything would be perfect. And I'm just not used to it. Everything in Lima is what I always wanted it to be, and yet, it's so different at the same time. It still feels weird waking up from a bed with warm blankets to breakfast that is more than just expired cereal. It's like… in Les Miserables, you know how Cosette wanted to go to that castle on a cloud? And then when she was finally there, she felt like she didn't know everything that she needed to, she thought that there was so much more about her new life. Maybe, if I go back to Boston, I can keep learning what I need to know."

"But you'll learn just as much here as you will in Boston, except here, you'll have tons of people to help you."

Claire paused and looked at the ground. "I guess the reason why I said I wanted to go back… well, in the nightmares that I keep having… I guess, part of my subconscious thinks that I'm just being a bother. I mean, Carole and Burt are spending so much money on me, and I know that money is tight. I just-"

"You're not being a bother Claire. If Burt and Carole knew that you were saving up to come here, they would have done anything for you. And, if you moved to Boston, don't you want to see your cousins graduate high school? And I'm pretty sure we'll be going to show choir Nationals this year…

"And my school in Boston doesn't have a show choir…"

"So, Claire, I want you to go home and talk to Carole and Burt about this. Everything. They won't be able to help you if you don't tell them anything. And I want to make sure that you and Kurt are still close. You're one of the best things that has ever happened to that family, to the New Directions family, and this family is one that's going to last."

* * *

**HELLO READERS. DID YOU LIKE THAT EXTRA LONG CHAPTER? It was almost twice as long as a normal chapter... I was going to slice it in half and make a Part 1 and 2 of this chapter, but I just didn't know where to cut it. If I cut it after Claire and Blaine left the park, Part 1 would be 25% of the chapter and Part 2 would be the other 75%, and where else could I cut it? After Mr. Schue comes in? Again, the 25 / 75 ratio? Is that even a ratio? This is why I am in Honors English and not Math...**

**Anyway, I hope that you guys liked this chapter, and that it wasn't too long. I actually like long chapters, rather than short ones, so I am hoping that a lot of you are like me =) Anyways, did you like it? I really love my little Claire/Blaine and my Claire/Quinn friendships. Anyways, I don't want to give too much away, but expect more nightmares and, um, one character may or may not faint in the next few chapters. Just saying.**

**Anyway, the usual, comment/review. Tell me what songs you want and I might add them. No song in this chapter because, well, I don't want this chapter to be too long! Including the Author's Note, this is almost 5,000 words! Anyways, see you all soon, and stay hydrated! (It may not be 95 degrees where you are right now, but I was pretty dehydrated yesterday, and I felt horrible. So stay healthy until the next chapter, and longer!)**


	13. Chapter 13: The Secret Life of Claire

Claire sat alone in her room, listening to her iPod. She fell back onto her pillow and started to hum along to the song, wanting the music to swallow her before she had to talk to Burt and Carole.

_Never win first place, I don't support the team_

_I can't take direction, and my socks are never clean_

_Teachers dated me, my parents hated me_

_I was always in a fight cuz I can't do nothin' right_

_Every day I fight a war against the mirror_

_I can't take the person starin' back at me_

_I'm a hazard to myself_

_Don't let me get me_

_I'm my own worst enemy_

_It's bad when you annoy yourself_

_So irritating_

_Don't wanna be my friend no more_

_I wanna be somebody else_

_I wanna be somebody else, yeah_

Carole walked down the stairs to find her cousin lying on her bed with the headphones in her ears. "Music seems to drown out everything, doesn't it?"

"P!nk speaks to my soul." Claire muttered as she closed her eyes.

"Claire, Kurt and Finn told me about what happened in school today." Carole walked over and sat on the edge of Claire's bed. "You don't really want to go back, do you?"

"No… It was really more of a 'said-out-of-anger' thing."

"Good, because based on what you've told us about Marissa, I wouldn't let you go back. But, why would you even think of that? Marissa _does_ know that you are here, right?" Claire could tell by Carole's tone that she already knew that answer.

"No." Claire said plainly. "She doesn't. I pretended to be her on the phone so that she wouldn't know, and I knew that you wouldn't believe that I was with Marissa unless you heard her."

"Claire, right now, your legal guardian is Marissa. If anything happens to you, Burt and I can't do anything. Which is why we wanted to know how you would feel if we became your guardians."

"Carole, I'd love that. But… is there any way that I wouldn't have to see Marissa?" Claire's eyes were full of worry. She didn't want to see Marissa, she didn't want to talk to Marissa, and she didn't want anything to do with her. The nightmares were bad enough as it is, if she saw her aunt, the details would just become stronger.

"Burt is actually trying to figure it out." Carole said, trying to calm the girl. "But it might be hard. We need proof that Marissa is unfit to take care of you, so you might have to see her."

"I'm sorry for all of the trouble I'm causing, Carole." Claire flipped over so that the pillow was muffling her voice.

"You're not causing any trouble, Claire. We want you here. And I know that your mom and dad would want you here."

"It's true." Claire half-joked. "My mom hated Marissa. I always wondered why I was with her."

Burt's voice came from the stairs. "You weren't going to be with Marissa, you know."

"What?" Claire asked, sitting up so that she could see her uncle.

"Ashlyn wanted you to stay with Elizabeth and I. But then Marissa somehow got between it all. And since she lived closer, she got to keep you."

"Wait… I wasn't supposed to be with Marissa? Why the hell was I with her for so long? Why didn't you guys find me?"

"I'm so sorry, Claire, but we had no idea where you were. Whenever we tried to contact Marissa, people would always say that she didn't live in that house or she changed numbers." Burt explained, apologetically. Suddenly, an idea came to him. "Do you remember living in any other houses, other than your most recent one in Boston?"

"I remember the houses, but I don't really remember where they were… But we did move a lot when I was little. You know, Marissa may not even be in Boston anymore."

"Claire, if you remember where any of the places that you used to live, tell us. Maybe we can find Marissa before she finds you."

"And we'll make sure that she doesn't come to Lima." Carole added. "We're going to keep you far away from her."

* * *

The next day in Claire's English class, she found a book sitting on her desk. The Secret Life of Bees, by Sue Monk Kidd. Each desk had a copy of the book, each varying in quality, and Claire guessed that it was probably the next book in the curriculum.

Claire had vaguely heard of this book before, so she looked at the summary on the back. _"Set in South Carolina in 1964, _The Secret Life of Bees_ tells the story of Lily Owens, whose life has been shaped around the blurred memory of the afternoon her mother was killed." _

The surprised look in Claire's eyes must have caught the attention of the teacher, who had just walked into the room. "_Did they choose this book because of me?"_ Claire thought as she kept reading the summary. The book was about a 14 year old girl, like Claire, who witnessed her mother's death, almost like Claire, lived with an abusive guardian for most of her life, again, like Claire, and now ran away to a town that "holds the secret of her mother's past". The main character's name could have been Claire Devine, and the plot would be similar.

"As you can see, we're starting a new novel today!" Ms. Silver, Claire's English teacher, said. Claire could never understand how a teacher could ever be so peppy and full of energy so early in the morning. She always assumed that teachers wanted to get out of school just as much as the students did. But Ms. Silver always sounded as if she was having the time of her life, whether it was playing a vocabulary game or going over the themes of _Ethan Frome_, the previous novel that Claire's class had to read.

Ms. Silver continued to explain the novel, and Claire was convinced that her teacher was looking at her. The class was given time to read the first few chapters in class, and Claire quickly finished the first two chapters. The similarities between Lily and Claire were almost scary. While reading, Claire learned that Lily had also lost her mother when she was four. Lily also had a tough time making friends in school, and blamed it on not having a mother. After seeing a town on the back of a picture, Lily runs away to find out more about her mother. Claire's story was so similar.

She didn't even realize that the rest of the class had already begun to pack up their books. Claire was just so mesmerized by the book in her hands, which practically told her story. But this book had a written ending. So that must mean…

When Claire finished the book, she may learn what to do about Marissa.

* * *

Mr. Schuester had called off rehearsal that day, so most of the Glee club members had either gone home or went out somewhere. Rachel, on the other hand, had been waiting in the choir room for at least 10 minutes. Finally, she saw who she was waiting for walk into the room.

"Finn, can I talk to you?"

"Rachel, I really don't want to talk to you right now." Finn said as he started to turn around, back into the hallway.

"But Finn, I have something that I need to tell you. I need to apologize."

"Are you going to apologize to Claire? Blaine? Kurt?"

"Finn, I know I made a mistake!"

"A mistake? That's what you're calling it? You almost broke my family apart, Rachel. I haven't seen my mom this happy since Claire came to Lima. Same with Burt, and even Kurt. You don't think before you speak, Rachel. So I hope that whatever you plan on saying to me was thought out."

"Well, I actually had a song for you." Rachel said, looking at the floor. Finn looked at her as if she had three heads, as if a song would actually make up for what had happened in the past 48 hours. He walked away, with Rachel following, rejected and alone.

_Summer after high school when we first met_

_We make out in your Mustang to Radio head_

_And on my 18th birthday we got matching tattoos_

_Used to steal your parents' liquor and climb to the roof_

_Talk about our future like we had a clue_

_Never plan that one day I'd be losing you_

Rachel walked back into the choir room as she continued singing, wishing that Finn was there listening.

_And in another life I would be your girl_

_We keep all our promises, be us against the world_

_And in other life I would make you stay_

_So I don't have to say you were the one that got away_

_The one that got away_

_All this money can't buy me a time machine, no_

_Can't replace you with a million rings, no_

_I should've told you what you meant to me, whoa_

_'Cause now I pay the price_

_In another life I would be your girl_

_We keep all our promises, be us against the world_

_And in another life, I would make you stay_

_So I don't have to say you were the one that got away_

_The one that got away._

* * *

That night, Claire's nightmares weren't as bad as before. Tonight's was Marissa calling her fat, and refusing to give Claire food, even though she was hungry. To most people, this would be a bad enough dream, but Claire didn't feel much pain in this one. Usually, Claire would wake up and check her body for bruises that she had seen in the dream, but when she woke up, she wasn't even hungry.

She had fallen asleep holding onto the book, which she had been reading to help her fall asleep. Her mind was racing, thinking about what Rachel had done, how both of her cousins had either ended their relationship, or almost ended but got back together, thank goodness, how she needed to contact Marissa, how Claire wasn't always supposed to be with her aunt… There was just too much to think about, and Claire's brain chose late at night to think about it all. She might as well have pondered the meaning of life while she was at it.

Although she only had to read the first three chapters of _Secret Life_, as Claire shortened the title, but she was already halfway through Chapter 6. Lily was at the Daughters of Mary service, and she was feeling lightheaded, and somewhat overwhelmed. Claire's head started to ache as well, whether it was the fact that she needed sleep or just because she was reading about lightheadedness was anyone's guess. Right before Claire had fallen asleep, she thought about the last passage that she had read:

"_I felt I'd stumbled upon an amazing secret – it was possible to close your eyes and exit life without actually dying. You just had to faint. Only I didn't know how to make it happen, how to pull the plug so I could drain away when I needed to."_

When Claire woke up, her ears were still ringing with Marissa's cruel words. It then occurred to Claire that, unlike Lily, she knew how to make herself faint. Not on command or anything, but she could think of a way…

Anyways, Marissa thought that Claire could lose a few pounds. Maybe Claire could kill two birds with one stone here…

* * *

**Hello, wonderful readers! Sorry I haven't updated. It's been... about three weeks? I could have sworn that I updated last week! Well, I've been busy lately. Summer camp ending, school starting soon, last-minute vacations. =) **

**So, I didn't originally plan for this story to have anything to do with _Secret Life of Bees_. To be honest, at the time of the previous update, I had barely started reading the novel! It was one of my summer reading assignments, and as I was reading it, I kept seeing the similarities between Lily and Claire. In ATOF, if I reference _Secret Life_, I will try my best to have some sort of explanation for those of you who may not have read it. I recommend it. I think it may be the first summer reading book that I actually recommend to anyone...**

**And speaking of _Secret Life_, any time that I shorten the title like that, I am talking about the novel _The Secret Life of Bees_, by Sue Monk Kidd. I'm not talking about the TV show where all of the high schoolers are getting married, pregnant, and/or both. I don't even know why I'm still watching that show anymore... Anyways, I just wanted to clarify.**

**Thank you, all of you, for reading. You are all awesome! Feel free to review =) See you all for (hopefully!) a new update next week! Things are getting a big serious in New Directions, since the stories of Claire's past keep coming up. She has to tell people enventually...**


	14. Chapter 14: See Her Smile, Part 1

**Hello, readers! I just want to take this quick moment to clear something up before I get any messages about this. I do not condone, for lack of better words which I cannot think of at the moment, some of the things that Claire does in this chapter. Please do not starve yourself, or try to make yourself faint. Both can be very dangerous. So, you know, just don't be like Claire, no matter how awesome her faint-dreams may seem.**

**And if this is your first time reading A Touch of Fear, welcome! And I hope I didn't scare you away...**

* * *

"Claire, what do you want for breakfast?" Carole asked.

"I'm actually not very hungry, I'll just have some fruit." The girl replied. That wasn't the absolute truth, but it wasn't a lie either. Claire wanted a Poptart, something that she began to love in Lima. But at the same time, she hadn't been feeling good lately.

"Are you sure?"

"I'm fine." Claire said, starting to slice a cup of strawberries.

Earlier that morning, Claire had checked the scale in the bathroom. Within the past few days, she had already lost about two pounds. According to the BMI calculator on her iPod, she technically wouldn't be underweight unless she lost ten pounds more. And she didn't plan on losing _that_ much. Just a little bit. And eating strawberries instead of Poptarts would help her.

* * *

Gym class was hell for Claire, and even athletic Taryn was getting tired. They had both completely forgotten that today, one of the last classes outside before the weather got too cold, was the Mile Run. The students had to run the McKinley High track, which was a quarter of a mile, four times, and the teacher writes down the time that it took. Naturally, the kids on the Track and Cross Country teams were done within the first 10 minutes. Taryn, who was usually very fast, was running slower than usual to wait for her friend.

"Claire, you okay?" She looked at her friend, who was now very pale. From all of her years in sports, she knew when someone looked sick, and Claire was a perfect fit. Pale face, shallow breathing… The problem was that, although Taryn knew that Claire looked sick, she couldn't remember what all of those symptoms were for. She knew symptoms, but not illnesses, which definitely would not help her, or Claire, in this situation. But Taryn could tell that there was something wrong with Claire.

"I'm… I'm fine!" It was probably the 15th time that Claire had to say that phrase within this one day. She was fine. She was definitely fine. She was –

"Claire, you really don't look good. I think you should go sit-"

"I'm fine!" Claire retorted. "Don't worry about me…"

_Was the track always so curvy?_ Claire thought. She looked down at her feet; the lines dividing the lanes seemed to be moving. As much as she tried, she couldn't seem to stay in her lane. _Am I spinning? _She thought that she was running in a straight line, but now the world seems to be spinning around her, spinning, spinning-

* * *

_All of a sudden, things stopped spinning. The sky seemed a brighter blue, and the puffy white clouds looked like cotton balls._

"_Hi, sweetie." A calm, nurturing voice came from behind Claire. At first, she was hesitant to turn around, because of the nightmares about Marissa. But this voice wasn't mean or fake. She turned around and saw something that she never thought that she would see again._

_A young woman, looking about 30, with wavy, brown hair looked back at Claire. Her brown eyes looked like chocolate, they reminded her of the way that mothers look at their children. There was a man standing next to her, who had the same eyes as the woman, was smiling at Claire. Although the girl hadn't seen these people for years, there was no doubt that she knew who they were._

"_Oh my God…" She said, jumping up and giving the figures a hug. She half expected them to disappear when she touched them, but she hugged them, and they held her back. It was so unreal, she couldn't believe what was happening. "I missed you, so much…"_

_As the mysterious figured held Claire, every bit of stress and anxiety that was buried in Claire's heart vanished. She had never felt so calm, so free, in her entire life. It felt as if it was a dream; Claire was there yet distant at the same time. She couldn't feel the ground beneath her feet, but knew that she must have been standing on something. Even in this mystical dream-land, it seemed impossible to float. She felt as if she was a part of those big, white clouds, letting the wind carry her. But here she was, planted in the same spot, clinging to the figures that she knew and loved._

_What she read was true: when you faint, you get to leave your life, and the world that you live in, without actually dying. Of course, Claire was still in her body, but at the same time, it felt as if she had escaped it._

"_We missed you too, sweetie. We're glad that you're away from Marissa. We know you're safe now." The man said, looking a Claire. "Look at how grown up you've gotten. I'm so sorry we didn't get to spend your childhood with you."_

"_At least you're with Burt now. I wish you could have gotten to know Elizabeth. Claire, honey, you look so beautiful, so grown up. And you have such a pretty smile. Those perfect teeth are from my side of the family, you know." The woman held Claire in a tight embrace, and she and the girl both started to cry._

"_Why… why did you leave me? Why did I have to go with Marissa?" Claire's voice seemed so small and timid compared to the adults. It reminded her of a small child's voice, not a teenage girl's._

"_We didn't want to leave you, we never wanted to leave you. But, honey, sometimes things in life happen just because of… reasons that we can't understand." Her voice seemed to calm Claire, and she felt herself slowly sink down onto the ground. "Don't worry, just let life take its course, and you'll be fine. Trust us, you'll be fine." Suddenly, the fluffy clouds joined together in the sky. Soon, the sky was completely blue except for one massive ball of cloud._

"_We have to go, sweetie. We'll talk to you soon, okay?"_

"_Wait, please don't go. I need you to meet Finn and Carole, and Kurt and Burt would love to see you again, just please, don't go." Claire cried. They couldn't go, not yet._

"_Claire, we have to. We promise that we'll talk to you. We promise."_

"_Why do you have to leave me again?" Claire asked, as the two figures ascended to the cloud blob. "Mommy, Daddy, please don't leave again!"_

_Unlike the figures, who had such calming voices, a new voice appeared out of nowhere. Thankfully, Claire knew that the voice didn't belong to Marissa. It sounded like a teenager's voice. "Claire! Can you hear me?" The voice kept shouting. Claire knew that she recognized the voice… but from where?_

* * *

"Claire, can you hear me? Claire, wake up! Claire!"

Slowly, Claire opened her eyes, not wanting to wake up from the calming dream that she had just drifted from. Why would she want to leave the calmness of the dream, and her parents?

"Claire!"

She looked around, and noticed that she was laying on a cot in the nurse's office. How she got there was unknown to her, but the back of her head hurt really badly. "I… I'm fine." Claire said, repeating one of the last things that she had said before she… _What happened to me?_

"No you aren't, Claire. You just fainted in the middle of the Mile Run! We were running on the track and you just, I don't know, fell or something. You kept saying that you were fine and stuff but I knew you weren't and your face was, like, paper white. I'm not kidding." Taryn continued talking, speaking at least three words per second. "I was freaking out, Mrs. Kelleher was writing down times when it happened, and I started shouting towards her. Oh my gosh, do you have a concussion or something? Hallucinations? I'm Taryn, by the way, if you don't recognize me-"

"Taryn, Claire just woke up. Please let her think." The nurse said, writing something on a slip of paper. "Which class are you in now, Taryn?"

"Mr. Rosen, Room 311..." She said, her voice getting quieter. She knew that the nurse was writing her a pass to go back to class. She didn't want to leave her friend, but she wasn't about to argue with the nurse.

She took the pass, and walked out of the nurse's office, waving to Claire as she left. Claire didn't have the energy to sit up, and there was still a slight pain in the back of her head.

"So, Claire, do you know how or why you fainted?" The nurse asked. This seemed like a stupid question to Claire, how was she supposed to know what happened when she was barely conscious? The nurse should just be able to know these things!

"Um, I'm not sure exactly, since I was unconscious and stuff…"

"Claire, I'm talking about _before_ you fainted. Did you eat lunch today?"

"I always do." A lie.

"What did you have?"

"A cheese sandwich, an apple, and a granola bar. I brought it from home." Another lie.

"I was wondering, because according to the school's computer, you didn't order lunch today. And skipping meals isn't healthy, especially when you are exerting yourself so much in the Mile Run. Your friend Taryn told me that you looked pale and seemed tired."

"I felt fine."

"I called your aunt Carole, she'll be picking you up soon. Until then, we're going to do a quick test to make sure that you didn't get a concussion when you fell."

* * *

"Claire, are you sure you felt fine this morning?"

"Carole, I felt fine then, I feel fine now. I don't even know what happened or why I passed out like that. I don't remember fainting before."

"Did you eat lunch today?"

"Yeah, I bought a cheese sandwich, a granola bar, and an apple." Claire said, looking out the car window. "Maybe I was just pushing myself too hard during gym class."

"Maybe…" Carole said as she pulled into the garage. "I can stay at home, if you want me to. The other people at work can cover for me."

"Carole, I'm fine. You can go back to work. I feel fine again."

"If you insist… But I want you to text me every 30 minutes or so, okay?"

"Okay, _Mother_." Claire joked. She instantly regretted it. She wasn't sure why she said that. Carole really cared about Claire, and probably got very worried when the nurse called her. The way that Claire just said "_Mother_" made it seem as if she was being too overprotective, as if Claire didn't appreciate her. And as much as she loved Carole, she wasn't Claire's mother. And today, Claire had spoken to her parents. Well, maybe it was just a hallucination, but she liked to believe that her parents came down from Heaven or wherever people's spirits go after they die, and came just to talk to her. But why hadn't they spoken to her before? Why was it that fainting brought her calm dreams and sleeping brought her nightmares?

Carole, luckily, wasn't angry or offended by Claire's previous sentence. "Okay, _daughter_." She replied, turning off the car. "You sure you don't want me to stay?"

"I'm fine, Carole. Go back to work. I'm fine here."

"Okay. Kurt and Finn will probably be back around 2:30, unless there is Glee club today. Burt and I will be home sometime after 5. Remember to text me."

"I will." Claire said, closing the door behind her. She looked in the mirror, and smiled.

She could be insecure sometimes, but Claire's Hallucinatory Mom was right. She did have a pretty smile…

* * *

**Okay, I have to admit, this isn't my favorite chapter so far. Actually, this is probably the first chapter that I have completely written last-minute. I usually write the chapters weeks in advance so I can stockpile them and such, but... I don't know. I was in a writing mood. And since, plus this, Chapter 14 would be about 11 pages (on Word, at least), I decided to separate them. **

**I guess you could say that this is one of the shortest chapters that I have posted so far. But, then again, it's just the first part so... **

**This is also probably the worst Author's Note I've ever written... I wanted to get this chapter before I had to go to sleep, since I have to wake up at 4:30 tomorrow...**

**I'm just going to go now before any of you decide that you don't want to read this anymore... I apologize for this author's note, next week's chapter is a lot better, I promise!**


	15. Chapter 14: See Her Smile, Part 2

***May trigger. Otherwise, enjoy!***

* * *

"Let's hear it for our newest addition to New Directions, Sam Evans!" Mr. Schuester said after Sam sang his audition song, "Red Solo Cup".

"Claire," Blaine whispered to Claire, who was sitting behind him. "Didn't you say that your friends coming today?"

"I thought they were." Claire said. "Maybe they forgot or something?"

Claire sat silently, wondering where Taryn was. The conversations around her were all just a blur, and Claire wasn't sure if she was like this because she was tired or sad. As strong as Claire tried to be, she had those days where she just wanted to break down and cry. Usually, those days were in the comfort of Kurt's house, where she could be alone. Unfortunately, this wasn't one of those days.

"Claire? You okay?" Mr. Schuester asked, seeing that the young girl was clearly out of her usually bubbly personality. Claire simply nodded.

"I'm fine." Claire assured. If Claire was one of those plastic dolls with the button that makes them speak, one of Claire's phrases would be "I'm fine". It was probably the most commonly said thing the past few days. Sadly, that meant that the most commonly said phrase was a lie.

Kurt moved from his spot next to Blaine and sat in the chair beside Claire. "You know that we're all here for you, right?" He said as he hugged her.

"Yeah, you guys keep saying that. And I keep saying that I'm fine! I don't need people to baby me or anything. I'm not four, I'm _fourteen_." She put emphasis on the last word. "You don't need to worry about me, I can survive on my own. I don't need a freaking village to take care of me."

"Claire, it's just that after what happened the other day-"

"Yeah, yesterday I fainted out of nowhere. It isn't a usual thing. You don't need to be all 'Claire, you're so fragile and if we push you the slightest bit you'd probably break'. I'm not as fragile as you all make me out to be." Claire stood up, and began to walk out of the room.

"You guys have no idea how strong I am. How strong I've had to be. You guys have _no idea._"

She instantly regretted being so cruel to the group of people who had always been so nice to her, but she felt as if it had to be said. Maybe it was just the unleashed anger and sadness speaking for her, but what was said was said, and she was glad that she let those feelings out. Now all she needed to do was tell the group _why_ she was so angry.

* * *

After Claire took a cool-off walk around the school, she walked back into the choir room, embarrassed about her sudden outburst.

"Guys, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have lashed out at you like that, it's just-"

"Claire, it's fine." Mr. Schuester said reassuringly. "I think we've all stormed out of the choir room at some point or another."

"Some more than others." Tina said, trying not to make her hint at Rachel too obvious.

"Well, I still feel bad. You guys have been nothing but nice to me, and that isn't how I should repay you."

"Claire?" Tina spoke up. "I don't know if this will make you feel better or not, but if you want to talk about what happened with Marissa, most of us don't know the whole story."

Claire slowly walked to the center of the room, where she sat on the ground like a child in kindergarten would when their teacher was reading them a story. "Circle time." She said with a hint of a smile. The rest of the group smiled and sat on the floor with Claire. "I know that it sounds silly, but I've always liked sitting in a circle and telling stories. It's much more relaxed that standing in front of a group."

Claire looked down, trying to find out where to begin. "As most of you know, my parents died when I was in preschool. I don't remember much, but I was in school, and the teachers took me out of the room to tell me the news. They didn't tell me much, but they told me that I was going to live with Marissa. I don't know how much of that is true, because Burt told me a few days ago that he and Elizabeth were supposed to be my guardians, but apparently I ran out of the preschool building at the sound of Marissa's name. And I kept running, hoping that I would find my parents. Even at four years old, I knew that Marissa meant bad news.

"As I got older, Marissa started to become an alcoholic. I didn't exactly know why she was always mean to me, but she always made it known to me how much she hated me. She would make me do all of the work around the house, I would have to cook my own meals, and I lived in this tiny, cement basement. I liked to think of myself as a real-life Cinderella. When I was younger, I _loved_ Disney princess movies, because it was always about a girl in a bad situation who ended up being so perfect and beautiful at the end. And I always hoped that my life would be like that.

"During elementary school, I realized that I was actually good at school. I never dared to ask Marissa for help with homework or projects, but I got pretty good grades. I mean, if it wasn't for all of the bruises on my arms and the days I went without bringing a lunch, I would seem like ordinary kid. But whether it was the bruises, or that I was clearly smarter than my classmates, kids wouldn't talk to me. The TV stereotype, 'stay away from the nerd, you may catch an IQ point' or something like that. So during the lunch periods, I would sit there with no lunch, all alone. Sometimes, the teachers would ask me how my day was, and I would say that I was fine and glad to be at school. And that's why no one thought there was any trouble at home. I was happy at school. Well, happier than at home.

"It was during middle school when everything seemed to be crashing down. I remember that the summer after fifth grade or sometime around then, when I still wasn't really sure why Marissa was always so mean, I decided that I would be mean to her. I wasn't exactly sure why she was like that, but I knew the two things that made her the meanest. So I went into one of her cabinets while she wasn't home, and found a big bottle of some sort of alcoholic thing, and, not knowing what it was, I drank the entire bottle."

Claire paused as she heard gasps from some of the girls, and the entire club was looking at her, waiting for the next part of the story. "One of the worst mistakes of my life. Let me just say now, if you've ever seen the way that teenagers act after a few drinks, you know how bad it can get. Now imagine a fifth grader with an _entire bottle_. I was throwing up everywhere, and eventually I passed out. I woke up in a hospital. You would think that Marissa would have left me for dead, but someone brought me in. When I woke up, my stomach was pumped, and I somehow had cuts all over my body. I didn't remember getting those cuts, but I also didn't remember Marissa being in the house, so that part of the story is a mystery. And since I didn't have any reason to prove otherwise, doctors guessed that they were self-inflicted while I was drunk. I had therapists, doctors, pretty much anyone who thought that they could make me better talk to me and try to get a story out of me. But I wouldn't say anything. I told them that I wouldn't talk until I got my stuffed duck, which was a present from my parents when I was little. By then, it had rips and patches, but I had two medical bracelets around its neck. One for each of my parents. No one knew about the duck except for Marissa, and she claimed that she couldn't find it. So I didn't say anything. And if anybody asked, I just told them that I must have been too drunk to remember.

"Looking back, it was the perfect opportunity to get away from Marissa. If I wasn't so stubborn, maybe I could have gotten away. I could have told someone. But I didn't, I kept my feelings inside, and that's always been a problem of mine. I really, really suck at telling people how I feel.

Anyway, when I finally got out of the hospital, and I started middle school, everything got so much worse. Marissa would throw me against cement walls, push me down multiple flights of stairs, and constantly tell me how worthless I am. How she wished it was me who died instead of my parents. One day near the end of eighth grade, I decided that I have had enough, so I let all of my anger out on her, screaming every little thing that I hated about her, directly to her face. Very bad move.

"She came after me with glass, lit matches, knives, basically anything that could hurt me. Eventually, she had me cornered. So she grabbed me by the hair, pulled me up cement stairs, ignoring my cries of pain. And as the cuts kept bleeding down my face, she picked me up, and pushed me out of a second-story window. One of the neighbors took me to the hospital, but again, no one knew the whole story. All they saw was a teenage girl with cuts and burns who supposedly had just jumped out of a window. And as someone with a history of so-called 'self-harm', I went back to the hospital. More doctors, more therapists, and more time to think. Since I wasn't in a mental health unit for the last week or so, the hospital let me use a laptop so I could keep up with schoolwork. That was when I planned my escape to Lima. I used the hospital computers to look of Kurt's address and phone number, and the day that I was released, I went home, packed my bags, and got the first plane ticket that I could to Lima. I had been saving money since that first hospital visit. People that I didn't even know where bringing me presents during both visits. I guess they felt bad for me. But I sold all of the gifts and used the money to go to Lima. And now I'm here. If you guys haven't noticed, I always play with my clothes when I'm nervous, especially pulling at the long sleeves…"

Claire took off her sweatshirt, leaving the black spaghetti-strap tank top that she was wearing exposed. The rest of the club all stared with wide eyes and jaws dropped, as this was the first time that they had seen any sort of scar on Claire's body. But this wasn't just one scar, every part of her body what was usually covered in long sleeves and jeans were full of scarred skin. "This scar is from a burn." She said, pointing at a large discoloring on her back, near her shoulder blade. "And this huge cut on my left arm is from when Marissa tried to throw a knife at me." She pointed out more scars, saying when and how she got them. After pointing out the major ones, she put her sweatshirt back on. "And that's why I'm here, I guess. I decided that any sort of scars that I could get in Lima wouldn't even compare to the ones from Marissa, so… I guess that's it."

The Glee club was silent, still looking at Claire. A few of the kids even had some tears forming in their eyes. Blaine leaned over to Claire and gave her a huge hug, and the rest of the glee club joined in.

"Thanks." Claire smiled. She was positive that she made the right decision to come to Lima. There's more love in this single Glee club than there was in her entire childhood.

* * *

"Dad, we need to find Marissa, now."

"Kurt, you know we're trying. But trying to find someone who was a history of running is very hard."

"Then we have to try harder! Did you know that Claire has been in the hospital twice, maybe more, because of Marissa? And both times, it was all blamed on Claire! She's so-"

"Manupulative? Devious? Vindictive?"

"Vindictive?" Kurt said, saying the word so slowly that he was practically spelling it out. "Why would she want revenge? On who, Claire?"

"Kurt…" Burt said, taking a seat at the kitchen table. "When Marissa was a child, and even a teenager, everyone liked her younger siblings more than they ever liked her. And to her, it seemed that 'everyone' included their parents as well. As much as she loved Ashlyn and your mother, she was always jealous of them."

"So then why would she want to keep Claire is she was so envious of Ashlyn? And why Claire, why not me?"

"As much as Marissa was jealous of her sisters, she also looked up to them. Especially Ashlyn. Even though she was the youngest, Ashlyn was the smartest. She had tons of friends, got good grades, and was one of the nicest people that you would ever meet. And Marissa was the exact opposite. So when Ashlyn and Derek died, Marissa refused to let anything take her sister. So she took Claire. And Claire looks so much like Ashlyn, I wish I had more pictures so you could see the resemblance. So I guess that when Marissa saw Claire, she didn't see her niece, she saw the smart, wonderful woman that was her sister. And she took out all of her jealousy on Claire. And the rage that she had when something had killed her sister."

Kurt didn't know what to say. He wasn't even sure if Claire knew this much. "How… how did Claire's parents die?"

"I'm not sure exactly, but what I heard from Elizabeth and from newspapers is that while driving near the edge of a hill, Ashlyn's brakes on the car had stopped working. They still never knew how or why, but the car wouldn't turn or stop. So the car fell off of the road." Burt's voice became quieter, almost as if he was paying his respects by having a moment of silence to Ashlyn and Derek. "You should probably be going to bed now."

* * *

"Hey, Claire!" A voice called after Claire in the hallway. She turned around to see Blaine trying to push through the crowd.

"Hi!" Claire said. "Are we still going to the Warbler's Sectionals tonight?"

"Of course we are!" Blaine said. "You're going to Glee club, right?"

"Blaine, why would I _ever_ miss Glee club?" Claire smiled as she walked into the choir room. She took a seat while Blaine and the other boys gathered around the piano. The boys each got a stool and faced them towards the girls who were sitting.

"Claire, after everything that you told us yesterday, I think I can speak for everyone when I say that we want you to know that we are always there for you to talk to." Finn said. "And we hope that you already know this, but in New Directions, when we want to make something clear to another person, we sing about it. So, Claire, enjoy this song."

The boys of the Glee Club started to sing.

_It's not you, she says__  
__It's just that life's so hard__  
__We all get blue, I say__  
__Hang on tight__  
__I'll be your bodyguard_

_Something's breakin' my baby's heart__  
__Something's breakin' my baby's heart__  
__Something's breakin' my baby's heart__  
__Oh, oh, I just wanna see her smile_

_It's such a drag, she says__  
__When the world's so mean__  
__It's just a red flag, I say__  
__Gotta look for the green_

_Oh, oh, oh__  
__Something's breakin' my baby's heart__  
__Something's breakin' my baby's heart__  
__Something's breakin' my baby's heart__  
__Oh, oh, I just wanna see her smile_

_Cynical town can be tough on an angel__  
__Clip her wings baby, one, two, three__  
__I'm her clown cause I laugh at__  
__Angels richer than kings__  
__Oh, baby, don't you see?__  
__Baby, don't you agree?_

_Wish I knew why, she says__  
__But on a sunny day, I find the rain__  
__Let's give it a try, I say__  
__We can dance all through the pain_

_Something's breakin' my baby's heart__  
__Something's breakin' my baby's heart__  
__Something's breakin' my baby's heart_

_I just wanna see her smile__  
__I just wanna see her smile__  
__I just wanna see her smile__  
__I just wanna see her__  
__Just wanna see her...smile._

Claire grinned as the song came to a close. "Thank you, that did make me smile."

"Good, because we love to see you smile." Kurt said, hugging his cousin. This proceeded to start a huge group hug, with every member of the club showing Claire how much they care about her.

* * *

**I liked this chapter a lot better than the last one =) Sorry it's a bit late, I was trying to finish my summer reading before school started. Did I finish it? Well... the test isn't until Monday! I still have time!**

**Anyway, I hate asking for reviews and stuff, but I had a question for you. I wanted to do a little mini-blurb at some point. I was trying to think of some ideas. One of them I mentioned in this chapter: Marissa and her sisters. If I wrote a short story about the Marissa, Elizabeth, and Ashlyn, would people actually read it? And does anyone else have any better ideas?**

**Again, sorry that this is a bit late. I was going to post this last night, but I took Melatonin to help me sleep (because my brain doesn't like sleeping, apparently), and by the time I edited this chapter, I was half-asleep. And school started today, so expect chapters on the weekend now! I miss summer already...**

**So, I hope you guys liked this chapter, and I shall see you next week! Bye!**


	16. Chapter 15: Ryan and Cody

"_And your Sectionals winner is… from Dalton Academy, The Warblers!"_

As Kurt, Blaine, and Claire left the auditorium got back into Kurt's car, they couldn't stop talking about the Warbler's win at their competition.

"I told you that you'd love them, Claire!" Blaine said.

"They were amazing! They don't even have to dance and they were still better than the other two groups. And they were always together, and on pitch, and completely in sync, and… We have to compete against _that_?"

"Only if we win our Sectionals." Kurt said. "Which should be easy. We got to Nationals last year."

"I think that the reason that you beat us last year is because you guys wrote original songs." Blaine said. "Kurt, you almost missed Breadstix!"

"Oh, shoot." Kurt said, slamming on the breaks. "Sorry about that."

When Claire went into the restaurant, she saw that the Warblers occupied a big section in the back. There weren't many other girls there, mostly just the girlfriends of the Warblers, so Claire just followed Kurt and Blaine as they talked to their friends.

"This is my cousin, Claire." Kurt said to the boys. Claire tried to remember the names, but she could only hear a few. "So, what are you guys ordering?"

"Is there a menu or something?" Claire asked.

"You don't have your order memorized?" A boy named David asked, checking his phone for a new text message.

"I just moved here less than two months ago, I've actually never been here before."

Almost every boy in hearing distance of Claire stared at her with open jaws and wide eyes.

"You…you've never been to Breadstix before?" Another boy, named Nick said, still staring at Claire.

"Um, no. I didn't know that I was missing out-"

"Kurt, you've never taken Claire to Breadstix?" Nick interrupted.

"I guess it just slipped my-"

"No excuses." David said. "Blaine, talk some sense into this boyfriend of yours."

As the boys were talking about show choirs, Claire silently listened while eating her spaghetti, which was recommended by most of the group.

"Claire, what grade are you in?" David asked.

"Ninth."

"Cool." He said, as he whispered _"Does she have a boyfriend?"_ and discreetly pointed to another Warbler and Kurt shook his head in response. "Hey, Ryan! Come over here."

A young-looking boy with short, blond hair walked over to David. "Yeah?"

"This is Claire, do you mind introducing her to some of the other freshmen?"

"Other freshman? There's literally two of us." He said.

"Claire, as much as you hate to admit it, you need more friends your age." Kurt said. "Most of the New Directions are graduating this year."

Claire followed Ryan as he walked over to his table, where he was sitting by himself in a small booth.

"No huge table?" Claire said jokingly.

"Eh, not really in the mood for talking to them, I guess. So, who's which one is your boyfriend?"

"Boyfriend? No, my cousin Kurt was-"

"Kurt Hummel?"

"Yeah, he was a Warbler last year. And his boyfriend Blaine Anderson was too. Then they both went back to McKinley, which is where I go now."

"Cool. That's in Lima, right?"

"Yeah."

The two sat in an awkward silence for a minute, before another boy came to the table and tried to squeeze in next to Claire.

"Well, hello there. I don't believe that we've met yet. I'm Cody Callahan. And you are…?"

"Claire." Ryan said, giving Cody an annoyed look.

"Claire Devine." Claire said. She moved over so there was more room for Cody.

"So, whose girlfriend are you?"

"I'm not…" Claire said, with a tiny hint of frustration in her voice. Even the schools near Lima are obsessed with relationships! "My cousin is Kurt Hummel."

"Ah, Kurt. He and Blaine are like, Warbler legends. Even though Kurt was only there for a few months. So, do you do show choir?"

"Yeah, I'm in the New Directions at McKinley."

"I've heard about them. They're pretty good. I heard they beat the Warblers last year and went all the way to Nationals. Then some kiss cost them the win."

"Well, they got twelfth place out of fifty, and they were still really good."

"Did you see them?"

"No, I actually just moved here a few months ago…"

"Cody, do you _really_ have to interrogate Claire?" Ryan asked, rolling his eyes. Claire noticed some kind of hostility in Ryan's voice, creating more awkward tension between them.

"It's not interrogating, it's making a new friend." Cody scribbled something onto a paper napkin. "Here's my number, text me if you ever want any show choir advice." He walked away leaving Claire with Ryan, who looked obviously annoyed.

"Advice? He's the same age as you. I don't know what he knows that you wouldn't." Ryan said, twirling his fork around his spaghetti. "Cody acts like he freaking owns the world."

"I know the feeling." Claire said, with the name _Rachel Berry_ coming to her mind. "They think that they get special privileges because of talent or who their parents are, and then it leaves the rest of us to actually work for what we want. Some people don't get the world handed to them on a silver platter."

"Sadly, Cody _does_ get whatever he wants on a silver platter. His dad is the owner of the Royal Crown hotels in this area."

"Royal Crown?"

Ryan looked at Claire with a shocked look on his face. "Um, the biggest hotel chain in Ohio?"

"I'm from Boston. I know the Marriot and Sheraton."

"Marriot?"

Claire mocked Ryan's shocked expression. "Um, the biggest hotel chain in Massachusetts! Duh! I actually have no idea if it's the biggest or not, I'm usually not out of the South Shore area."

"Yet you're in Lima, which is So, Boston? That's pretty far away. What's it like?"

"A lot of museums and seafood. Pretty much the whole east coast of Massachusetts is full of them. Pilgrims, Puritans, Boston Tea Party… And there's ocean everywhere. Um… I don't really know what else to say. "

"Well, what brings you to Lima? I would guess that you were visiting but most schools don't have vacations around now…"

"Actually, I'm living with the Hummels. Going to school here for a while."

"Do you know how long you'll be here?"

"Hopefully for a while, I like the people around here a lot better. And McKinley is a lot better than the school I went to…"

The two continued to talk about the differences between Boston and Lima, which mostly was the people and the climate, until Kurt came over to the table.

"Claire, it's almost 11. We should probably be getting home soon. I told Carole we'd be home before midnight. And knowing her, she's probably waiting by the door as we speak."

"Okay. Bye, Ryan." Claire said as she got up and began to walk away. "Wait, here's my number. Text me sometime. It's nice to have someone my age to talk to." After she gave him the number, she walked away and met Kurt and Blaine in the car.

When Kurt found Claire, she was lying on her bed, humming the tune to some Avril Lavigne song. She didn't seem to notice her cousin there; she seemed to be mesmerized by the plain, white ceiling.

"Is the ceiling that interesting?" He asked.

"Whoa, didn't know you were there." Claire jumped. "And no. I was just thinking."

"Anything about that boy you were talking to on Friday?"

"'That Boy' has a name, it's Ryan."

Claire quickly reached over to her phone and stuffed it under her pillow, while Kurt tried to get the phone from her.

"Hey! I don't go through your phone!" Claire said once Kurt opened her messages. "This isn't fair."

"Here, go ahead." Kurt said, giving Claire his phone. She opened his messages just to try to annoy him so that she could get her phone back. Sadly, Kurt deletes most of his messages. The only ones that Claire could find that made the tiniest bit of sense were a message from Blaine that said "Courage", and a text from Carole telling him Claire's last name.

"Claire, this guy likes you." Kurt said as he scrolled through the messages. "It's completely obvious. Just look at the way he's talking to you."

Claire fell back onto her bed. "Why do you delete all of your messages…?" She muttered.

"I think that you two should go out sometime. Take it from someone who knows a bit about relationships, you two are perfect for each other!"

The girl stared at her cousin as he continued to talk. _I've known Ryan for three days_, Claire thought. _And here goes more of the dating stuff._

"I don't know, I mean, I just met him…" Claire said.

"Claire, a stranger is just a friend that you haven't met yet. Give him a chance…"

"If I say yes, then can we end this conversation, please?"

_RYAN DAUGHTERY: Hey, Claire! Anything new happening in the New Directions lately? Not that I'm spying or anything…_

_CLAIRE DEVINE: haha, and nothing much yet besides figuring out songs for sectionals. It's getting pretty close though, I don't know how Mr. Schuester expects the club to learn a whole set in less than a day._

_RYAN DAUGHTERY: Well, it wouldn't be the first time. A few years ago, the two other groups stole ND's set list, so the group had to change songs at last minute._

_CLAIRE DEVINE: at last minute? AHHHH I CAN'T DO THAT!_

_RYAN DAUGHTERY: You'll be fine, don't worry. Is it your first time in a show choir competition?_

_CLAIRE DEVINE: Yeah, my only other real performing experience is a school play in elementary school so… this is really the first time._

_RYAN DAUGHTERY: I'm sure you are your glee club will be amazing at Sectionals, but you guys are no match for what we have planned for Regionals! We may not dance as much as you, but we've been practicing this a capella version of Some Nights, we may or may not use it for Regionals, and I have to admit, you guys better be prepared. If you win Sectionals, I mean :)_

_CLAIRE DEVINE: So you just told me one of your group's best songs? Hm. Noted._

_RYAN DAUGHTERY: Oh, like you'd tell anyone._

_CLAIRE DEVINE: Okay, maybe I won't, but just because I'm a good person and I want to beat you fair and square at Reigonals!_

_RYAN DAUGHTERY: Bring it, Claire! :)_

_CLAIRE DEVINE: All will be brought =D_

* * *

**Ah, sorry for the delay! I spent all of my free time working on this... But between 3 dance classes, 6 hours in 2 days of auditions for the school play, musical theater, voice lessons, two projects, and homework, I didn't have much free time this week!**

**So, I am asking again, I want to do a little blurb about A Touch of Fear. I'm thinking about Marissa and her sisters, or maybe A Day In The Life of Claire or something. I want to mention Boston more. It's a pretty cool city, for those of you who haven't been there.**

**I will probably be adding something to my account sometime this week! My elective at school is Creative Writing, and I have a bunch of ideas flowing. So if you want to check that out, the link is ~sammifaye. And, like before, I still have my Wattpad site and my own character site.**

**And for people who may be wondering why I didn't have the Warblers actually _sing_ in this chapter, I was having trouble finding a good song for them. It wasn't until this week at Lyrical dance class when we were choreographing Some Nights, and I instantly thought that I wanted to save it for the future. Maybe not for ****Regionals, but definitely for something. Does anyone have any other song requests?**

**Oh, and one last thing. Who saw Glee last night? =D**


	17. Chapter 16: My Own Worst Enemy

"David!" Ryan said as he ran through the hall after Warblers practice. Even though Ryan had been at Dalton for a few months now, he still didn't know his way around the buildings completely. This hallway looked completely unfamiliar to him, but luckily he found his Senior Mentor.

"Hey, Ryan. What's up?" The senior towered over the short freshman. David and Ryan became close friends after David became his tour guide during freshman orientation. Ever since, Ryan always went to David with any questions about Dalton, the Warblers, homework, basically anything. "Did you get lost again?"

"No- well, yes. But that's not what I wanted to talk to you about. You're friends with Blaine and Kurt, right?"

"Yeah, why?"

"You know Kurt's cousin, Claire?" Ryan's eyes shifted to the floor.

"Does widdle Ryan have a cwush? David laughed. He felt bad laughing, but he was secretly glad that the plan is working out – the plan to get Ryan and Claire to date. It's been the Warbler's (and Kurt and Blaine's) ongoing secret mission, starting when Ryan arrived at Dalton and Claire arrived at Lima, both not having many friends their own age. Ryan glared at him. "Okay, okay, but haven't you been talking to Claire? Why do you need me?"

"Because the Warblers would be more likely to help me if you convinced them. I know the perfect song, and you're probably going to laugh at me when I tell you, but I think that the Warblers will be great at it, and we already sing a lot of songs originally sung by girls, so…"

"The only problem is, Warblers usually don't perform just anywhere. Most of those performances don't end very well either…" David thought, thinking of his friend Blaine, who last year had the Warblers attempt to serenade his crush, who worked at the Gap, and ended up with a fired employee and a broken-hearted Blaine.

"Well then we don't need everybody! What if a small group of friends, who just _happen_ to be Warblers, decide to sing a song together? Please? I really like her…"

David looked at the younger boy, contemplating if he should agree to sing with him or not. "When?"

"Well, I was planning in visiting my cousin the weekend after our Sectionals. He lives close to Lima. Claire lives in Lima."

David sighed, knowing that he couldn't say no to his friend. "Maybe." He said as he walked away.

* * *

During Biology, Claire and Taryn were paired as partners for the lab activity. Today, Taryn was unusually quiet. Claire saw the distanced look in Taryn's eyes. It was the same look that Claire had in Boston, needing a distraction from life at home. Claire instantly hoped that Taryn wasn't going through what she had with Marissa; Claire wouldn't wish it on her worst enemy. Taryn, Hazel, and Roger still didn't know about Marissa. All they knew is that Claire's parents had died, and that she lived in Boston until this year. Although the three of them, especially Taryn, had asked about Claire's life in Boston, Claire never told them anything other than a few general facts. She spent the last 8 years in school being constantly bullied, harassed, and picked on, and she wanted her past life and her current life to stay as separate as it possibly could be.

"Taryn, is everything going okay at home? You know you can tell me anything." Claire said. "And no one else is listening, so-"

"It's nothing." Taryn said quickly, staring intensely at her textbook looking for a definition. "I'm fine."

"Are you sure, because you don't seem like-"

"Yes, I'm sure!" She snapped, surprising Claire. It must have shown, because Taryn quickly apologized. "Sorry. I just don't… You know how… I guess I…"

"Something with your dad?" Claire asked, remembering that Taryn lived with her father in a small apartment in the southern part of Lima. "Just because I don't have one at the moment doesn't mean that you can't talk about him around me. At my old school, one teacher told the kids not to talk about their parents around me, which is stupid, because I know who my parents are and although they aren't alive, I know that they are always with me…" Claire's voice faded. She always told herself that her parents were watching her, but it never occurred until now that if they were always there, why did they let her live with Marissa for all of these years? Why didn't they do anything to help her?

"My problem is kind of the opposite. My mom was never with me, at least since the last few years of elementary school. I don't even remember what she looked like. It was always just my dad and I in my mind, although he was usually always at work. I usually stayed at my grandfather's house until my dad came home from work, sometimes I went to Roger's house since he lives right next door. That's how Roger and I became friends. My dad always worked long hours, so most of the time I would end up sleeping at my grandpa's. My mom left when I was…when I was in 4th or 5th grade, and when my dad decided that I was old enough to stay home by myself, he had to work longer, so I would wake up and he'd be gone, and I'd fall asleep and he still wouldn't be home. Your parents weren't physically there, but they were at the same time. Mine were here physically, but I probably saw them just as often as you saw yours when I got older."

Claire just listened as Taryn talked. She wished that there was someone like this at her old school, someone who she could talk to, not be judged, and have someone understand what it was like. Maybe this is why Claire became closest to Taryn. Of course, Hazel and Roger were some of her only friends in her grade, but Claire just had this instant connection with Taryn, even before either of them knew about each other's past.

"You know how I said before that I don't remember what my mom looks like? I found out yesterday that my dad does… and he sends her letters, and talks to her on the phone… I just don't want her to know where I am! She did things that I can't even tell you. But I don't think that he should be talking to her! What if she knows where I live? What if she comes back and comes to the house and-" Taryn quickly cut herself off, blinking quickly to get rid of the tears that were forming.

"It's okay to be scared. Life isn't supposed to always be happy and full of rainbows and sparkles."

"That would be great, though." Taryn laughed, but it wasn't a true laugh. It sounded like a laugh that someone makes when they are trying to convince themselves to smile. A forced laugh.

"It would be boring!" Claire shouted overdramatically, waving her arms around, almost knocking over a test tube. "If we got exactly what we wanted, nothing bad happened, we wouldn't have to work for anything! Isn't one of the best things in life working for what we really want?"

"But Claire, my mom is something that I _don't_ want."

"No one is going to know unless you tell them how you feel. When does your dad come home today?"

"On Fridays he goes home early… so I think around 4."

"Then talk to him. Taryn, you still have one parent. Your dad loves you, even if he is never home to show it. And if I was your dad, I would do anything to keep you safe and happy. I'm your friend and I want to keep you safe and happy! There are so many people who want to help you, but they can't help you if you don't talk to them."

* * *

After school that day, Claire didn't want to immediately go home. She went through the rest of the day thinking about Taryn, hoping that she would talk to her father. It made Claire feel a bit of remorse, that she never got to tell Marissa how she really felt. But did she really _want_ to tell Marissa? Would her aunt stop her from leaving? Would she change? Or would she let Claire leave?

She went over to the auditorium door, which could either be locked or unlocked, depending if there was anyone else inside. As she slowly pushed the on door, it opened. But there was no one else there, just lights hitting an empty stage. It was as if someone had left it on for Claire, since no one else in Glee club had signed up for the auditorium that day. She walked up the wooden stairs on the side of the stage, looking around for a trace of a person. When she found that no one else was there, she began to sing the first song that came to her mind.

_In the roses in the spring_

_I remember, there was a time I wasn't afraid of anything_

_with the lilacs and the rain one day you went away_

_I remember, I forgot everything._

_My mother's always trying to tell me how to be grateful, how to believe._

_My father's always trying to say "Baby, you're beautiful, in every way."_

_My lover's always got me in his arms trying to protect me, keep me from harm._

_So why do I always have to be my worst, my own worst enemy?_

_Enemy, oh_

_In the shadows in the grace in the lonely, there is a place_

_Where we can all hide away._

_But in the windows of the soul there is nowhere we can go_

_If we keep running, running from our destiny._

_My mother's always trying to tell me how to be grateful, how to believe._

_My father's always trying to say "Baby, you're beautiful, in every way."_

_My lover's always got me in his arms trying to protect me, keep me from harm._

_So why do I always have to be my worst, my own worst enemy?_

_Oh, my worst, my own worst enemy,_

_My worst, my own worst enemy._

As the song intensified, Claire's voice got louder. Some of the lyrics really hit home, especially the "it's all in my head" line, because Claire always tried to deny Marissa's anger, believing that deep down, she really loved her, and the hatred was just imagined. Because sometimes, Claire really was her own worst enemy.

_You say I walk on water, you say I walk on the moon,_

_But it's never enough no it's never enough, no it's never enough_

_You say I'm only human, it's all in my head,_

_But it's never enough, no it's never enough, no it's never enough_

_One day I'll find my alibi_

_My mother's always trying to tell me how to be grateful, how to believe._

_My father's always trying to say "Baby, you're beautiful, baby, you're-"_

_My lover's always got me in his arms trying to protect me, keep me from harm._

_So why do I always have to be my worst, my own worst enemy?_

_My worst, my worst enemy_

_I wasn't afraid, no I wasn't afraid_

_My worst, my own worst enemy_

_My worst, my own worst enemy_

_Oh, My worst, my own worst-_

_Oh, My worst, my own worst-  
Oh, My worst, my own worst enemy…_

The big clock on the side wall of the auditorium showed 4:15. Claire was hoping that Taryn really did talk to her dad. As she was thinking about what she had told her friend, Claire realized that what she said had so much to do with her own life. As if she was not only speaking to Taryn, but herself as well. There were so many people that wanted to help her, and she couldn't just wish that they somehow knew everything. Someday, Claire would have to tell the whole story. The whole story, from Marissa's drunk rampages to the bullying in school, from the hospital visits to the nightmares. Claire came to Lima to get away, like a vacation. But she didn't need a vacation. She didn't need a break. She needed closure.

* * *

**Ah, I haven't seen you all in a while, and we haven't sung together in an even longer while! I apologize for the delay, school has been super hectic lately. I think I've already gone through my schedule with you all, right? You know, taking three Honors-level classes in school (the highest level for those subjects), and after school I have my musical theater class, three dance classes, voice lessons, and rehearsals for the school play. Not to mention that I am completely drowning in homework. Someone send a life preserver!**

**Anyway, so I wanted to add something to this chapter, so I added some Idina Menzel because, well, she's amazing. I went to her concert recently, and she was amazing (as usual), so I've been on an Idina kick lately, listening to her songs nonstop. Oh, and if you do not know who Idina Menzel is, I _definitely _recommend listening to some of her songs. She was in the original Broadway casts of RENT and Wicked, and if you watch Glee (which I am assuming most of you do), she played Shelby Corcoran, who is Rachel's birth mother and adopted Beth. She was amazing and talented and adorable and all things wonderful.**

**Okay, enough rambling. With school starting up again, I don't want to say that I'll update by a certain day, but I promise that I will try to update as soon as I humanly can! Thank you all for putting up with me =)**


	18. Chapter 17: Closure

When Claire woke up on Monday morning, she had so much more energy than the previous week. Maybe it was the excitement of it being the last week before winter vacation, or maybe it was the fact that she had spent about 3 hours texting Ryan the previous night (until Claire fell asleep), but whatever it was, Claire was like a puppy, bouncing around the house. Maybe it was the song that Claire set for her alarm.

_It's a sunny happy day  
And the sky is crystal clear, oh yeah  
Surprise, surprise I'm okay  
The best I've been in years, oh yeah_

_Summer's hanging in the trees_  
_Bluebirds butterflies and bees_  
_The world's alright_  
_And that's alright with me_

_'Cause I hardly think about it anymore  
Oh, it's just a distant memory  
And I hardly think about it anymore  
What happened to the dream?  
And it only hurts when I breathe_

She went into the bathroom and looked at the clothes that she had set for herself the night before. Warm, black sweatpants and a plain, gray T-shirt. Sure this outfit would have been great on one of the colder days the previous week, but it just wouldn't do for today. Claire snuck back into her bedroom, which by now was completely separated from Kurt's, thanks to the wall that split the rooms (which was also sound reducing, so Kurt couldn't hear Claire talking to Ryan all night), and turned on the lights. _So much light…_ Claire thought as her eyes squinting until they adjusted. She danced to her closet and looked around, taking in how much her clothing collection has grown since she moved to Lima.

_Got more money in the bank  
Than I ever had before, oh yeah  
Things keep going my way  
Pretty soon I'll have a whole lot more, oh yeah_

_But I'm sleeping in a lonely bed_  
_When I remember to forget_  
_The world's alright_  
_And that's alright with me_

_'Cause I hardly think about it anymore_  
_Oh, it's just a distant memory_  
_And I hardly think about it anymore_  
_What happened to the dream?_  
_And it only hurts, yes, it only hurts_  
_Now it only hurts when I breathe_

_Perfect, _Claire thought as she picked out an azure blue and white striped shirt, which the tag called a "Striped Floral Lace Crop Tee", which was a lot of words for a shirt with flower-shaped lace in the back. She matched this with a short, white, denim skirt and white knee-length leggings. She walked back into the bathroom and quickly changed, humming the tune to "Breathe" as she fixed her hair, curling the ends slightly.

_Sun up, sun down  
Breathe in, breathe out  
Breathe in, breathe out  
Breathe in, breathe out_

As she walked out, feeling energetic and peppier than usual, Claire started up the stairs when she saw a blue headband with a white flower made of buttons on the ground, matching the hues of Claire's clothes perfectly. _It's a sign, this week is going to be great._

_And I hardly think about it anymore  
Oh, it's just a distant memory  
And I hardly think about it anymore  
What happened to the dream?  
And it only hurts yes it only hurts  
Now it only hurts when I breathe_

_Oh, it only hurts yes it only hurts_  
_Now it only hurts when I breathe_  
_When I breathe when I breathe_  
_When I breathe when I breathe_  
_When I breathe_

She had gotten dressed in a record amount of time, and went up to the kitchen for breakfast just as Kurt began to wake up. She took a package of Brown Sugar Cinnamon Poptarts, which she had first tried a few days prior and now was going through a package a day after Blaine had introduced them to her, and put them in the toaster oven when she saw Carole walk through the doorway to the kitchen.

"Hi, Carole! It's almost vacation and I'm so excited! I don't know why I'm so full of energy today. It's going to be a great week and vacation is going to be great and life is great, isn't it? It's great and I have my Poptarts in the toaster and Sectionals is on Thursday and then it's vacation, and it's not even 7 AM yet!"

"I'm glad you're excited for vacation, sweetie. You look pretty today, as always. Any special reason for dressing up?" Carole said, looking very tired and still wearing the fuzzy, sky blue robe that Kurt had gotten her for her birthday the previous year.

"Not really, but today just didn't feel like a sweatpants and T-shirt kind of day."

"How are you so…awake?" Finn mumbled as he dragged himself to the table. "Mom…do we have any cere-" His question was cut off as he fell asleep again, nearly slamming his head on the table, a normal morning occurrence for Finn. Carole knew that her son was asking, or at least tried to ask, for cereal, so she took out the box of Frosted Flakes and poured him a bowl, hoping that the sound of food will wake him up. Instead, it was the sound of the toaster beeping that woke up the sleepy teenager.

As Claire and Finn ate, they heard Kurt walking up the stairs and into the kitchen. "Finn, you better not be eating my toast… Oh, good morning!" Kurt said. He, as usual, was awake in his usual morning-Kurt fashion. Of course, he wasn't as awake as Claire was this morning, but Claire was obviously on some sort of Poptart Sugar Hype.

"Good morning!" Claire smiled at her cousin. "Kurt, we're deciding our Set List for Sectionals today, right? Right. I wonder what Mr. Schue is going to choose for us to sing. He'll pick something awesome. I know it."

"Carole, these Poptarts are giving Claire an immeasurable amount of energy. It can't be healthy." Kurt said seriously, but with a hint of laugher near the end.

"Don't take away my Poptarts!" Claire whispered.

"I would never take away your Poptarts, Claire." Carole smiled, thinking back to the week before, when Claire passed out at school. Although Claire never admitted to anything, Carole knew it had to do with the fact that Claire had barely eaten in days. Although Poptarts were not the healthiest breakfast, if that is what it took to make sure that Claire was eating, she would buy boxes and boxes of them. "Kurt on the other hand… If Kurt took away your Poptarts, I would buy you more, okay?"

"And you would hide them so that Kurt wouldn't eat them?" Claire giggled. Carole noticed something about Claire. Some days, she would act like a normal, 14-year-old. There were days that Claire would act like someone twice her age. On others she would remind Carole of Finn and his friends when they were in elementary school. Claire would go from quiet and distant to loud and talkative at the flip of a switch. You could never predict how Claire would act each day, it was completely spontaneous, which was one of the things that Carole liked about Claire. She was never predictable, and always unique.

When the three kids had finished breakfast, they piled into Kurt's car. Claire's optimistic attitude had become infectious by now, and even Finn was laughing and smiling. Claire couldn't wait for Sectionals, and vacation... This was the kind of feeling that she was deprived of in Boston. The kind of feeling that she got to share with her family. And it was awesome.

* * *

Claire's study hall teacher did not mind if students used their cell phones in class, since he was not actually teaching anything. Although it was a school-wide rule that cell phones must be turned off and put away during classes, Mr. Forth told his students that, as long as they did not tell anyone, he would let them use their phones, iPods, even laptops if they really wanted to bring them. It was definitely Claire's favorite study hall, even though it was full of seniors that she did not know. Mr. Forth kept multiple board games in the classroom, and occasionally the students would begin a huge game of Apples to Apples. But one of the things in the classroom that Claire always found interesting was the big cabinet full of past McKinley yearbooks. Mr. Forth had almost every yearbook since 1968, and a handful from the 40's and 50's. Whenever Claire did not have a lot of homework, or didn't want to do homework, she would look through the yearbooks and try to find any names that she recognized. She didn't know as much as others might because she was new to the area, but she could find siblings of her friends in some yearbooks with a bit of searching and deductive reasoning. Mercedes' older brother and sister, Quinn's sister and parents, and Brittany's sisters. She also found Mr. Schuester's senior yearbook, and read something in his quote about a girl named Terri D., who also was a senior. There was a lot that you could learn from by looking through yearbooks. Half of the fun about looking through yearbooks from past decades was looking at the hair and clothing that people wore. Sometimes, Claire would take pictures with her phone to show her friends. _I wonder what people will dress like in ten years…_ Claire thought to herself.

But today, Claire couldn't seem to focus on yearbooks. She took a composition notebook out of her bag and flipped through the pages, each filled with poems relating to every emotion. Some of the more crinkled pages were hanging by a thread, literally, from when Claire was so angry that she almost wanted to quit writing poetry. But each poem, dated in the top corner, showed how she was feeling throughout the past two years. There were trends, a couple of happy, then a long line of angry and sad, and then going back to lighter topics. She continued skimming through the poems when she found a poem that she wrote the night before she left for Lima.

_I am lost. I am hurt.  
I have been abused beyond compare.  
All I can hope is that you can love me._

_I do not know you. You have never met me.  
Yet a string has been pulling us together.  
All I can hope is that you can love me._

_I will find you, and you will hug me.  
You will show me what true love is.  
All I can hope is that you can love me._

_I can hide my wounds, but you will bandage my bruises.  
I cannot hide from you, you know my secrets.  
All I can hope is that you can love me._

_I shall wake up tomorrow, and you will be there.  
All will be well and we shall live and love together.  
All I can hope is that you can love me._

Claire smiled as she finished reading. She had gotten what she had wished for. She continued flipping through the remainder of the filled pages, and realized that every poem since she had arrived at the Hummel-Hudson's home was happy and light. There was nothing about abuse, or pain, or sadness. As soon as her pencil touched the first blank page, one of the boys in the class came from behind her and sat in the empty chair next to Claire's desk.

"Hi, I'm sorry if this is invading your privacy or anything, but you are a very good writer."

"What?" Claire said, instantly closing her journal. "And yes, it is invading my privacy."

"Mitch Thompson." The boy said, holding out his hand. Claire knew that he was a senior, but they had never actually met.

"Um, Claire Devine."

"I'm the editor of The Lima Literary. It's a magazine where students can submit their writing, and we pick the best and publish it. The library funds it. We don't have a lot of poets anymore, everyone sends in short stories. I personally think that poems can speak to readers much more than most short stories can."

"Same."

"You should consider submitting something. A couple of poems that we've gotten have ended up being published in collections. But based on the amount of filled pages in that composition journal of yours, you could probably fill up a collection by yourself."

"I don't know…" Claire said thoughtfully. Almost any writer would like their work published. But these poems were just so personal. Some were about Marissa. Others were about her parents, and lack thereof. Some of the newer ones were even about Kurt, Carole, and everyone else in Lima.

"You can submit your poems anonymously, if you want." The brown-haired boy quickly said, noticing Claire's doubtful look. As the bell rang, he continued to speak. "If you're interested, there is a mailbox to the left of the library's front door. It says Lima Literary on it. Just drop it in there."

"I'll think about it." Claire said as she picked up her backpack. It would be nice to get her work out and published, but… it would be like exposing the most secretive part of Claire's mind. Secrets that no one knew, and no one had to know. She reminded herself that she could send the poems anonymously. No one would know it was her. She could hear what others thought without their bias. She could know what people really thought of her, and how they thought of her life with Marissa, without that look of sympathy that she was so used to getting.

* * *

During rehearsal, the club had decided on their set list for Sectionals, something that Claire and the other students had been looking forward to for a long time. After choosing their three songs, solos were given out. One of the songs that they had chosen, "Hello" by Evanescence, would be a duet between Claire and Quinn. The other two songs would be divided up into verse-long solos, trying to showcase as many members as possible.

After rehearsal, Claire needed to go to her locker, and Kurt and Finn had in-school errands as well, so they decided that they would meet at Kurt's car. Right when rehearsals ended, she wanted to tell Ryan that she had gotten a solo for Sectionals, and that he should come and watch, but she barely got halfway through the hallway when she realized that she was being followed. Claire looked up from her cell phone to find Mercedes, Tina, and Quinn standing behind her.

"Um, hi?" Claire said, wondering how long they had been there.

"Claire! Good for you, getting a solo." Mercedes asked. "It's about time a competition wasn't The Finn and Rachel Show around here.

"Thank you, but I'm glad that so many people have solos this time around. If all goes planned, I have the next four years for solos. Most of you only have the next 3 competitions.

"But Claire-" Mercedes started.

"I really think that you all should stop focusing on me and if I will stay in Lima, and focus more about making sure that we win Sectionals. You don't need to worry about me." Claire said as she unlocked her locker and pulled out her English textbook.

"Claire, we kind of have to worry about you. This'll sound corny, but you being here has made me want to be a better person to everyone. I don't want anyone to have to go through what you went through." Tina said. "We just want to make sure that you're safe here. Which you are, but still."

The girls started to walk into the school parking lot, where Claire was going to wait at Kurt's car. They talked about Sectionals, other show choirs, and basically anything else involving the competition at the end of the week. Claire looked down at her shoes, the new ones that Carole had bought her the day before. Claire kept telling Carole that she did not have to keep buying new clothes and other things, but Carole would always tell Claire that she was buying for "the daughter that she never had". They were still bright and clean, and still had the new shoe smell (although, since Claire was walking, she wasn't going to stop and smell her shoes).

When she looked up, Claire froze in her tracks. There was somebody standing in the parking lot, a few cars away from where Claire and her friends were standing. _No_, Claire thought. _It can't be…_

But as she looked at the figure again, she looked at some distinctive features that made the person completely recognizable to Claire. The messy hair. The pronounced cheekbones. The ribcage seen through the figure's dirty shirt, and the ripped jacket over it.

"Claire? You okay?" Mercedes asked nervously, seeing that her younger friend looked as if she had just been hit in the face by a ghost. She, and the other girls, turned to the mysterious person. Mercedes didn't recognize him…her… She actually couldn't tell if it was a woman who obviously had never looked in a mirror before, or a man with long, orange hair. The person's hair covered most of their face, but Mercedes could see the lines on the figure's forehead.

"Claire, let's go." Quinn pleaded, reaching for Claire's hand to pull her to her car. She could drive Claire home; she wouldn't trust the girl waiting for Kurt in this condition. But just as Quinn's fingers touched Claire's, the younger girl flinched, still staring at the figure. Quinn could see the figure smirking behind the ratty tangles as the person crossed their arms.

Claire finally let out a breath, which was a good sign for the older girls, who had never seen anyone so frozen and pale. Claire opened her mouth, as if to say something, but no words would come out. After a few cycles of the breathing and attempting to speak, six short words were hoarsely uttered.

"Marissa? What are you doing here…?"

* * *

**AHHHHHHHHHH. MARISSA? WHAT WILL HAPPEN NEXT? Well, you are going to have to wait until Chapter 18 to find out! Anyway, I hope that you guys liked this chapter, and I tried to get it out as fast as I could because _somebody_ wouldn't stop sending me messages telling me to update. Are you happy now, Kirsten?(You should check her out and read her fanfics, her pen name is TrueAngelofMusic1).**

**And while I am promoting people/things, I posted a new story on FictionPress! It is called "Counting Words", and it is about a teenage girl named Klessera and her sister who live in a country where people are only allowed to say 350 words each day, and once they reach that limit, their voices are turned off. But soon, Klessera and her friends realize that their country's leader may not be as honest as he claims to be... You should read it :)**

**Anyway, in the next chapter, we will find out what happens when Claire's supossed aunt comes to Lima! How will this affect Claire and her friends?**

**Thank you for any and all reviews, I really am thankful for all of my wonderful readers. Bye!**


	19. Chapter 18: Crushed and Confined

"Marissa? What are you doing here…?"

At the sound of those words, Quinn realized the danger that Claire was in. She instinctively picked Claire up, noticing that Claire was much lighter than she looked. Despite Claire screaming at Quinn to put her down, Quinn kept a tight grip on the girl. She yelled to Mercedes and Tina to open the door, but when they got to the entrance near the choir room, the door was locked. Tina and Mercedes kept hitting the door, hoping that someone would hear it. Someone had to hear them screaming and banging at the door. After what seemed like a while, but turned out to be a few seconds, Mr. Schuester opened the door.

Quinn had never seen Claire like this before, but she knew exactly what was happening. The figure was Marissa. When Claire saw her aunt, her mind probably recounted some of her worst memories, leaving her frozen in fear. The more Quinn thought about it, maybe carrying Claire might have brought memories as well, which is why she was screaming to put her down, but now Claire was safe, at least for the current moment. Marissa couldn't get into the school unless someone opened the door for her, and it was too late to give visitor passes to anyone who goes to the main office.

"Girls, what's going on, and why are you practically screaming?" He said angrily. The girls merely ran past him, and Quinn placed Claire on the floor in the hallway.

"Mr. Schue, Marissa is outside. Claire's aunt. We don't know why she's here, or how she got here, but the minute Claire saw her, she started freaking out." Mercedes explained.

The teacher looked at Claire, who looked at least 3 years younger that she usually did, looked smaller and weaker, and who was still a ghostly pale. Her blue eyes seemed like the only bit of color on the girl's body. She was still breathing very heavily, but she was calming down.

"Take her into the choir room. All of the windows are covered and locked, there's no way for anyone to see outside. I'll get Kurt and Finn before they leave. Are you sure it was Marissa?" He said, genuinely worried. It suddenly occurred to him that there were no promises that Claire would be staying in Ohio. As he watched the girls pick up Claire and get her to start walking, he realized how limited those moments with this girl was, how limited moments with anyone were. No one can tell the future, no one knows when something bad will happen… His train of thought was disrupted when he remembered to find Kurt and Finn. Hopefully he could find them before they left the school parking lot. One of them must have planned to dive Claire home, so at least someone must be there…

It took a few seconds, but the teacher found Finn as he was walking towards his car. "Finn! Where's Kurt?"

"He's probably in his car, waiting for Claire. Why?" Then Finn noticed the fearful look on his teacher's face. "Oh no, what happened?"

The two of them found Kurt's car, and told him to come back into the school. As they were walking, Mr. Schuester told them that Claire was in the choir room with Quinn, Mercedes, and Tina, because Claire had seen someone in the parking lot, and she said that it was Mariss-

Once Kurt heard that Claire had seen Marissa, he began running towards the school, with Finn running close behind. When they got to the choir room, they saw Claire sitting on the floor, her hands running through her brown hair. The room was silent, until Finn accidentally ran into the doorway, making everyone look up.

Mercedes motioned for Kurt to come into the hallway. "I don't know if Claire is talking or if she's still in shock, but can you go look outside at the parking lot and see if there's anyone there?"

"Sure, what did the person look like?" Kurt asked.

"Gross-looking, ratty orange hair covering most of her face, but there were lots of lines on her forehead. She was wearing…a black shirt with a dark blue jacket. Or maybe it was the other way around. But anyway, can you go check?"

Kurt ran down the hallway until he reached the door. He wanted to text Blaine and tell him to come back to the school, but he knew that he should check outside first. He looked through the dirty window, but he couldn't tell if the black blob that he saw was a person or a car. He opened the door, keeping one foot in the door so that he wouldn't be locked out. The figure was much closer than Kurt had expected. The figure looked exactly how Mercedes had explained.

"Kurt." The figure spoke, seeming to have a wispy, yet almost demonic tone to its voice, but maybe it was just Kurt's fear overreacting. He was terrified. Why was Marissa here? And how did she know his name? She was his aunt, but still, he had never met Marissa before. His dad told him that he had never met her. To his knowledge, she didn't know that he lived in Lima, although she probably did. Kurt didn't think that anyone told her that Claire was in Lima. He instantly closed the door and ran back to the choir room. He and Mercedes, who was standing at the doorway, shared a glance, and Kurt nodded, signaling that she was still outside. She walked back inside, while Kurt stood outside for a minute trying to decide what to do. He looked up to find Taryn, one of Claire's friends, running towards him. She was still wearing her basketball uniform, and looked like she had just come from practice.

"Kurt, what's going on? I heard a bunch of people in the choir room, and I heard something about Claire… is she okay?"

"It's just… her aunt is back and it scared her. We don't want her to go back to Boston and live with that monster again, but Marissa is still outside and we can't get Claire to calm down unless she leaves. We just have everyone in there trying to calm her down. It's getting kind of packed, though, so some of the people are going home."

"Marissa?" Taryn asked, worried and confused.

"Wait… Claire never told you about Marissa?"

Taryn scoffed, not knowing whether to feel sympathy or anger. She had told Claire all about her family, and now she finds that Claire kept the whole life a secret from her. "Whatever… tell her I hope she feels better." Taryn turned around and walked away.

* * *

Kurt feeling horrible that he told her about Claire's past. It's just like his dad had told him before Claire first came to Lima: to not tell to many people about Marissa, and let Claire tell people when she was ready. It felt different when it was the New Directions. But really, what made it different? That one was Kurt's friends and the other was Claire's? That really wasn't a good excuse.

As selfish as this sounded, Kurt was worried about the upcoming Sectionals, which was actually the following week. Claire had missed school the two days after she saw Marissa, causing her to miss Glee rehearsals. Kurt was torn about how he should be feeling. Of course he felt bad for his cousin. She had only gotten out of bed twice, to change and brush her teeth. She had horrible nightmares, so horrible that Kurt could hear her screaming from his bedroom. He would get up and open the door to Claire's room and ask if she was okay, but Claire would never respond. She barely spoke, either. She was sleep-talking more than she spoke when she was awake. Carole was very understanding, though. She took off the past two days, and her winter vacation started today, so she was always home for Claire. She would bring her food, although Claire would only nibble at it. Carole would sit on the edge of the bed and talk to Claire, hoping for the replies that never came. You know how when someone jumps out behind you and scares you, you have this moment of shock where you jump and can't speak? Claire was like that, except it was lasting days. Kurt never realized how severe Claire's fears were before, and he felt bad for not caring as much before.

But as much as Kurt was concerned about his cousin, he knew that she was missing important Glee rehearsals. Especially since Claire had solos at Sectionals, and since dancing wasn't her strongest part of performing, she would need to practice at home, at the very least. Even that wouldn't work, because most of the dancing involves the whole group. But Claire wouldn't even get out of bed.

Most of the people in Glee have been genuinely worried about Claire. They all wanted to come over, but Burt and Carole thought that it would be best for Claire to be alone. Blaine was especially worried, since he had grown very close to Claire over these few weeks, and he was at Kurt's house more than anyone else in Glee. Blaine also knew how Claire felt, not as severely, but his fear of his father hitting him again made him somewhat empathetic. Rachel, on the other hand, was the complete opposite. Kurt and Finn never heard this, but Mercedes had heard that Rachel said that it was 'selfish' of Claire to be missing rehearsals this close to a competition. Long story short, Mercedes put Rachel in her place soon after that. Even Claire's friends asked him if she was okay. To Kurt's knowledge, Hazel and Roger still didn't know about Marissa, unless Taryn had told them. He was still mad at himself for assuming that Claire had told her about Marissa. All he could hope for is that Claire would accept his apology and tell him that by Kurt telling her friends, it made it easier for her, or something like that, as unlikely as it would be.

"Claire?" He said as he walked into her bedroom. When she didn't answer, the feeling of worry completely replaced any thoughts about Glee. He walked in, and sat in the bean bag chair opposite the bed. Claire was facing the opposite direction, so Kurt couldn't tell if she was even awake or not. When he saw her arm move a bit under the blanket, he knew that he was hearing her. "I don't know if you're going to answer, but I wanted to tell you what happened at school today." Claire didn't answer, but she moved one of her arms out from underneath the blanket so it was dangling off the side of the bed.

"I have an idea, Claire. We're going to do a yes-or-no game. I'll ask you a bunch of questions, and you tap the side of the bed once if the answer is yes, twice if no, okay?" Silence. Right when Kurt was about to get up and leave, he saw Claire's pale hand lightly tap the side of the bed, once. Kurt smiled, hoping that maybe he could get her to talk after this.

"Okay, first question, have you practiced your solo for Glee lately? As in, the past two days."

Claire hesitated, but quietly tapped her hand twice. It looked like it was taking all of Claire's energy just to move her fingers. The rest of her body was completely still.

"Okay… Sectionals is coming up soon! When were you planning on practicing?" Kurt asked, and Claire didn't respond. "Oh, wait, that wasn't a yes or no question. Um… Do you want to go to school tomorrow?"

Claire tapped the bed once…then a second time.

"But Claire, we need you in Glee, you have two solos that we need to practice. If the Glee kids came here, then would you practice?"

No response.

"Come on, that was a yes or no question… Fine. Let's try another one. Did you ever tell your friends at school about Marissa?"

Two taps.

"Were you going to?"

Two more taps.

"Is it because you didn't want to be treated differently?"

One tap.

_Shoot, what did I do? _Kurt thought. Now he really felt bad that he told Taryn.

"Well, your friends want to see you. The Glee club wants to, too. When you do go back to school, a lot of people want to see you. We all really care about you, Claire."

Then Kurt heard something that he wasn't expecting, it was quiet, raspy voice, one that sounded so foreign, yet so familiar to Kurt. "Marissa doesn't." The voice whispered.

"Don't say tha- Claire! You said something! You should go talk to Carole. She's been so worried. We all have. Are you going to school tomorrow? Rachel won't stop talking about how we need you to rehearse. You also should go talk to Taryn. Hazel said that-"

"Kurt!" Claire snapped, leaving her older cousin shocked. Now Kurt was the silent one. Claire reached out and looked at her phone for the first time in days. She was surprised when she saw that within the past two days, she had gotten 23 voicemail messages, and over 50 unopened texts. Although Claire would never believe this, and previously would have never admitted it, people in Lima really did care about her. She looked through her inbox at all of the messages, all asking where she was, if she was okay, and to text back as soon as she was up to it. She started at the beginning of the new messages and read through to the most recent, the messages getting more urgent and worrisome as they progressed.

_BLAINE ANDERSON: Just want you to know that I'm here for you, Claire. We all are 3 call me if you ever need someone to talk to. Hopefully Rachel won't see us again._

_MERCEDES JONES: Claire, I wish I could be there and tell you that everything was going to be okay. Call me when you can._

_QUINN FABRAY: We love you, Claire! __ Please call me when you are feeling up to it, but if you can't that's fine. Take some Claire-time._

_TINA COHEN-CHANG: Mike and the boys say that they'll beat up Marissa for you if you give them the word. Feel better!_

_RACHEL BERRY: You sounded great at rehearsal today. You might want to work a bit extra on the dance break, but if you need any help, just call me. I've been dancing since I could walk._

Claire closed her eyes at Rachel's text. Almost every member in Glee had sent her some sort of comforting message on the day that she saw Marissa, except for Rachel. Claire ignored it, and continued reading onto the next day's messages.

_BLAINE ANDERSON: I feel bad making a joke in the last message. I knew it was serious, but I guess I thought you'd be here again today so we could give you a big group hug._

_BRITTANY PIERCE: Claire, I don't know what's going on, but please erase any messages that I sent to you on facebook. Lord Tubbington hacked my account and started flirting with everyone. _

_BLAINE ANDERSON: Claire, please, please, please answer me. Kurt says that you haven't even gotten out of bed, and he's really worried. We all are. I won't stop texting you until you reply. _

_ARTIE ABRAMS: Claire, Glee club isn't the same without you!_

_HAZEL HOLTZER: Claire I got your homework for Bio and History, text me your teachers if you want me to get the rest. Taryn heard that you got sick at rehearsal last night, so feel better!_

"So Taryn still doesn't know…" Claire thought out loud, oblivious to Kurt shifting so that Claire couldn't see his face.

"I'm going to get back to homework." He said quickly as he got up. "Come in if you want to talk or rehearse or do anything."

Claire continued to read through the messages, smiling at the excessive messages from Blaine.

_BLAINE ANDERSON: Claire, please answer me!_

_BLAINE ANDERSON: We miss you!_

_BLAINE ANDERSON: Stay strong 3_

_BLAINE ANDERSON: I'm texting you more than Kurt today… don't tell him that._

Then Claire reached a message that she noticed was very different than the others. It wasn't from someone at McKinley. This person had no idea that she was sick, or at home, or anything.

_RYAN DAUGHTERY: Claire! Why haven't you answered my calls? Is something wrong? We used to chat on Facebook every night, and now it's been three days without any word from you. I really like talking to you… Anyway, text me back soon._

As mean as this sounded, Claire had completely forgotten about Ryan in the past few days. Well, she did kind of have a family crisis, and texting wasn't her biggest worry at the moment. Claire looked at her phone again. She really didn't want to reply to every person who called or texted her. So she decided to get up and post a status on Facebook saying thanks for caring. Claire tried to move, and eventually her feet reached the floor. As she started walking, her legs started shaking. _Could barely walking for two days really be that bad?_ Claire thought as she used the bed and wall to hold herself up. When her legs almost collapsed underneath her, she sighed as an answer to her question. She got to her laptop, typed in the password, and was bombarded with email and Facebook notifications. She got to her profile and ignored the posts and messages – she would read these later – and clicked the Post Status button.

_CLAIRE DEVINE: Hi, everyone. Thanks for all of the care and support that you have given me in the past few days. I apologize if I have affected you in a negative way because of my absence, but I hope that you can forgive me when I come back to school tomorrow. Thanks especially to my friends who continuously texted me, I guess I just never realized how much people cared about me. As they say in the song Louder Than Words, "Why does it take an accident before the truth comes through to us?". Well, I've definitely learned the truth about a lot of things in the two days that I've been sick. Oh, and Blaine Anderson, I'll be back tomorrow for that hug you promised. Anyways, I may not be up for texting tonight, but I will reply to everyone's messages sometime soon. Again, thank you all for being amazing friends._

Immediately after Claire clicked the Post button, the notifications of people liking the status filled the left side of Claire's screen. Blaine... Kurt... Quinn… Mercedes... Tina... Mike... Artie... Brittany... Sam... Santana… Puck… Finn… and Ryan.

She felt bad about not talking to Ryan. They usually talked every night, and then Claire disappeared off the face of the world without any notice. She unlocked her phone and went to her Favorites list, where his number was.

"Claire! Where have you been? You haven't replied to anything, or anyone, I'm assuming, based on that Facebook status." Ryan said, his voice a mix of worry and relief.

"It's a long story… A long, complicated story."

"I'm hoping it's not about me?"

"Oh, no. It's _definitely_ not about you." Claire quickly replied, reassuringly.

"Well, that's good. Well, not _good_, but at least now I'm not afraid that I said something."

"Is that really what you thought?"

"Well, I didn't know that you were sick. I mean, even if we have tons of homework, we still manage to talk to each other, so I didn't think that you were busy. And since I don't talk to any of your other friends, all I knew is that you weren't talking to me. How could I not think I said something?"

"I'm sorry… It wasn't that at all…"

"Claire, it's fine. But, anyway, I'm up for a long and complicated story if you want to talk."

"Uh, not really over the phone…" Claire looked at the clock, it was only 3 in the afternoon. "Can we go meet up somewhere?"

"Claire, Dalton is almost 2 hours away from Lima, and I'd need someone to drive me, and-"

"Oh. It's fine." Claire said, sighing. She wanted to tell someone. But if she wanted to tell someone, why didn't she tell someone closer, like Taryn or Hazel? It didn't make any sense to Claire. Maybe it was because Ryan was farther away, he didn't go to McKinley. Claire didn't care what the people at Dalton knew about her, well, she did, but not as much as the people she faced every day at McKinley.

"Wait. Tomorrow is your Sectionals competition, right?"

_Shoot_, Claire thought. She completely forgot about Sectionals. That's why Rachel kept asking if she was practicing...

"Yeah, it's tomorrow." Claire said.

"My cousin lives in Harrod. That's about half an hour away from Lima. After Sectionals, I can stay at their house, and on Saturday we can spend the day together, talking or doing whatever. Okay?"

"You don't have to, you know-"

"I want to. You can't just ignore me for three days and then expect me to forget about it. See you tomorrow. Break a leg!"

"Thanks." Claire smiled. Soon after she turned her phone off again, and began to slide back into her bed, Carole lightly knocked on the door.

"Claire? I hear you're feeling a bit better."

"Yeah." Claire said, snuggling into her warm blankets. "It's times like these that make you realize how many people care."

"Well, I hope you know that I am one of those many people." Carole took a seat at the end of Claire's bed. "Which is why I wanted to ask you something. I know that you don't like to talk about Boston, and I don't blame you, but I feel like, in case something like this ever happens again, we should have someone that you can go to."

"Besides you and the rest of the family?"

"Claire, we can only help you so much. Our advice that we give to you has to be taken with a grain of salt, no one in this house knows anything about psychology-"

"You want to send me to a therapist?" Claire said, her voice dropping, remembering the multiple guidance counselors and psychologists that had listen to her story in the past. She never lasted long with any of them. "I don't know Carole, I don't have a very good track record with anyone in the psychology field…"

"But it's worth a try, Claire. I have a friend whose office is in downtown Lima. We could go tomorrow, or even today if you wanted to."

"Isn't it a bit late?"

"I told her to schedule you for today, but if you weren't up to it, then to write you in for tomorrow."

Slowly, the girl rolled out of her bed, feeling the soft carpet as her feet touched the floor. The cold breeze that enveloped her arms as she parted from her blanket. "Might as well."

* * *

**So now that Claire is back to her (somewhat) normal life, she needs to get ready for Sectionals! Luckily, the New Directions knows how to figure out a set list quickly. But Claire also is going to meet her new therapist in the next chapter, and she will try to tell her story to yet another stranger. But this person is different. (Semi-related hint: Some people at work say that she's a rock star).**

**Anyway, I hope that you all liked this chapter! I appreciate any and all reviews, and thank you for reading! See you all next week!**

***** Oh, and random side-note that I just realized. This chapter hit the 50,000 word mark! So thank you for putting up with me for so long! Claire and I thank you :) *****


	20. Chapter 19: Catch Me, I'm Falling

"Hello, Claire, take a seat." The girl cautiously entered the room, giving the maroon chair a skeptical look. As she sat, she felt her back tense as it attempted to lean against the back of the chair. She wasn't too excited about being back in an office like this, after experiences in the past, but she wanted to make Carole stop worrying about her. Of course, the older woman had good reasoning to worry about the girl, but that was beside the point.

"Although I am not usually called by my first name by my patients, I've known Carole and your uncle Burt for a while now, and I feel like we will see each other out of this office sometimes. My name is June Casey, but you can call me June."

Claire gave June a small nod of understanding, still sitting straight with her spine far from the back of the chair. As she looked around the room, one thing caught her attention. In between the books about dream analysis and children's therapy, she could see it. She slightly turned her head so she could read the words on the book's spine.

"So, Claire, Carole has told me bits and pieces of your story, but I want to hear it from you. We don't need to go through it all today, unless you want to, but I want to learn more about you. What makes _you_ Claire Devine."

"Um, yeah." Claire said, obviously preoccupied by her find. "Sorry to be off-topic and all, but may I ask why you have a Next to Normal script in your bookshelf?"

June chuckled slightly, turning around to pick up the book. "It's one of my favorite musicals. Maybe because it's right up my alley, but I love the songs."

"Same here." Claire said, slowly drifting into a semi-aware state. As June began to ask questions, Claire's imagination began to turn. The office that she was sitting in seemed to get darker, as if it was lit up by a couple of bright lights. All that she could see was June and herself.

"Claire, what's your story? Based on what I heard from Carole, it's on the more interesting side compared to many of my other patients."

"It's always weird telling people about it… It just seems so unreal, so fictional, like it came out of a book. Sometimes, when I'm saying it out loud, I think to myself that it just sounds so crazy, it couldn't have happened to me. It had to be someone else. Like I'm telling someone else's story."

"Make it about you."

_Make up your mind to explore yourself_

_Make up your mind you have stories to tell_

_We'll search in your past_

_For what sorrows may last_

_Then make up your mind to be well_

"So, Claire, tell me, how far back can you remember Marissa?"

"I remember the first day that I lived with her. I was practically pushed down the concrete stairs. She would barely speak to me, barely look at me. It was like that for a long time after my parents – you know. I kept trying to stand up for myself, but I always felt like I could put up with it until I found a way out of the house. Through the years, though, the abuse got worse and worse. I finally thought I was away from Marissa for good until… until…"

"Carole, Burt, and the rest of your friends and family are trying their best to help you. But none of us want you to be afraid, or to live in fear that she will come back. Right now, at this moment, Marissa is not here, Claire. Tell me your story. She's not here."

_Make up your mind to live stronger now  
Make up your mind let the truth be revealed  
Admit what you've lost and live with the cost  
At times it does hurt to be healed_

"Sometimes… I feel like I'm falling. Like this life here is too perfect to be real. Like when Marissa pushed me down, there was that moment before I hit the ground. I felt as if I was flying. I felt free. And then, my body would crash against the floor, leaving bruises all over my body to remind me that… that I could never be as free as I felt, how I wanted to be. And living here has been so wonderful… it's like, my brain secretly knew that it would hit the ground eventually. That's what always happens. A fall always ends with a collision."

_Catch me, I'm falling…  
Catch me, I'm falling…  
Faster than anyone should.  
Catch me, I'm falling…  
Please, hear me calling…  
Catch me, I'm falling for good…_

"Why did you choose to come to Lima? And why now?"

"Because I only knew of one other family member. Elizabeth, Burt's first wife. I didn't know that she was dead. I've never known my grandparents, or even if any of them are still alive, and I knew that Marissa had two sisters. I knew that she lived in Lima, so I kept researching her and I found Burt. And I did it now because I didn't have the money before. I have to admit, I may have stolen money from Marissa, but it would have been spent on alcohol if I didn't take it. I had been saving for years. I kept a journal, I used it for poems and as a diary, and in the back cover, I drew a bar, and when I got more money, I would hide it with the rest and fill in the bar. It got closer and closer to being full… and finally, one day, I realized that I had enough money to leave Boston and go to Lima."

"So you have been planning your escape for years?"

"Yes. And it still surprises me that Marissa never found anything. None of the hidden money and clothes, notebooks and journals… none of it. Unless she did know, but never mentioned it. It really doesn't make sense. I keep having these 'what-if' thoughts, like what if Marissa did find the money before I ran away? How would that change where I am today? But then I think about my parents, and how they would have wanted me to be with Burt. I never saw them in dreams or anything until recently, when I fainted. I wonder if that means anything…"

_Make up your mind, you want clarity  
Take what you know and then make it make sense  
Just admit what you fear  
And soon it comes clear  
The visions are just your defense_

"Well, let's try to understand what those visions of your parents may mean. You never saw them until you came to Lima, correct?"

"Yes. I guess they could have helped me get here, or they're watching over me or something, but I don't know. I've never really been that into spirits and stuff. I just don't know. I feel like I'm making life more difficult than it needs to be. If I never left Boston, Marissa wouldn't have had to come here, I mean, does anyone know where she is now?"

_Catch me, I'm falling…  
Catch me, I'm falling…  
Losing myself in the air.  
Catch me, I'm falling…  
Don't leave me crawling…  
Catch me and show that you care…_

"What are you looking for in Lima? Love? Family?"

"My main reason for coming, at least, what I convinced myself was the main reason, was to find my real family, find real love. Not to get away from Marissa. As much as I hated her… I somehow seem to miss her. I know, it sounds completely absurd that I would ever miss her, but I'm just not used to all of the love that I am getting. It's so much, so fast."

"And what do you want to do to fix it?"

"I don't know."

_Make up your mind to be free at last  
Make up your mind to be truly alive  
Embrace what's inside, replace what has died  
And make up your mind to survive_

_Take a look…  
Take a look…  
The invisible girl, falling…_

_Catch me, I'm falling…_

"Claire, I think that this session has been pretty successful..."

_Catch me, I'm falling…_

"…But I'd like to see you again soon…"

_Flying head-first into fate.  
Catch me, I'm falling…_

"I enjoyed talking with you."

_Please, hear me calling…_

"We are making headway, but there is so much more to be done."

_Catch me, I'm falling!  
Catch me, I'm falling!  
Catch me, I'm-_

"Same time, next week?"

"Sure."

* * *

When Claire got to school the next day, she was bombarded with hugs and questions. Her friends wouldn't stop talking to her, making up for the past few days when Claire socially disappeared.

During lunch, Claire sat at her usual table: a small table in the corner with 4 chairs. But ten minutes into lunch, no one was there. Taryn was unusually quiet today during Biology, which it was very strange for the talkative girl to go five minutes without saying a word.

Claire looked around, trying to decide if her friends were maybe in a class during lunch, taking a test or getting extra help, or maybe chose a different table without telling her. The Glee kids had an open chair, but Claire decided to wait in case maybe her friends were just running late.

After a few more minutes of waiting, Hazel walked over to Claire, who was now finished with her lunch and began to doodle in her notebook.

"Hazel! I was wondering where you guys were. Where's Taryn and Roger?" Claire asked, packing up her things.

"They're sitting at another table. They told me to tell you."

"Let me just pack up my stuff and I'll-"

"Claire, I think that you should stay here."

"What? Why?" Did something happen over these past few days that she had missed?

"I… um, I just think that you should sit here for the next few days."

"Hazel, can you at least tell me why? I didn't say or do anything!"

"You're right," Hazel said monotonously. "You didn't say anything. You know how sensitive Taryn is, she hates when people hide things from her."

"Wait, let me get this straight, she's angry with me because I didn't talk to her when I was sick? I didn't talk to anyone, it wasn't just her!"

"Claire, stop being so freaking insensitive! Taryn told you everything about her family, even about her mom. She doesn't tell _anyone_ about her mom! She's scared and ashamed, but she trusted you. She thought that you could understand. You never told her about Boston, or Marissa, or anything! You basically lied to her, after everything she's done for you. And she had to hear about it all from Kurt. It should have been _you_ who told her, Claire. Her friend."

Claire was speechless. She wasn't sure what she was more surprised about: the fact that Kurt had told Taryn about everything that she had been trying to avoid, or that Taryn and Hazel, and probably Roger as well, were so angry about it.

"_I'm insensitive?_ Maybe I should apologize." Claire retorted, her voice dripping with sarcasm and anger. "I'm sorry that I never knew my parents, lived in an abusive household for ten years, and I just wanted to get away from the pain. I'm scared too! I'm ashamed! I wanted to get away from my aunt not only because I wanted to know how it felt to be a normal kid, with normal friends, with a normal life, but because I was sick and tired of being abused! I was tired of being hit and pushed around and threatened with knives! I just wanted to know how it felt to be liked, by anyone, because that's something that I never had! I'm sorry that I'm apparently being oblivious to your problems, okay? I'm sorry that for the past few days I was so scared that I couldn't even speak, I couldn't do anything! Think about it this way, at least all three of you have at least one parent alive who loves you."

Hazel took a step towards Claire, and both girls where practically red with fury. "Taryn never told you…" She stopped, stepped back, and began to turn around. "Maybe if you were honest with her, she would have been honest with you." She walked away, back to the table with Taryn and Roger, leaving Claire alone.

Claire could feel herself breathing, her hands were shaking and her heart was beating harder than she could ever remember. She pulled her bag off of the chair next to her, knocking over said chair in the process, and stormed out of the cafeteria. Technically she needed a hall pass to walk around in the halls, but Claire didn't care. She just wanted to get out of the cafeteria before she screamed at someone.

"Claire?" Ms. Pillsbury called down the hallway. "Claire, don't you have lunch right now?" The girl just shook her head angrily, not necessarily a yes or a no, and continued to walk away. Claire felt her guidance counselor's hand tap the girl's shoulder. "Do you want to come to my office?"

"I don't want to talk about my long list of problems, if that's what you mean."

Claire had no idea how this worked, but Ms. Pillsbury's voice always had this calming tone. She had never seen her guidance counselor angry before, but Claire guessed that even if Ms. Pillsbury was yelling at someone, it would never sound too angry.

"Well, even if you don't want to talk, you could just sit in my office until lunch is over. You still have another ten minutes."

Claire sighed, and found herself walking towards Ms. Pillsbury's office. She opened the door and sat in the chair that she knew much too well by now. For the next ten minutes, the two just stared at each other, waiting for the other to say something. But nothing was said. As Claire silently left, she decided that she would not mention what happened during lunch to the Glee club. Tonight was their Sectionals, they needed to give it all that they had, and that wouldn't happen if they were all worried about their youngest member.

___Take a look…  
Take a look…  
The invisible girl, falling…_

_Catch me, I'm falling!  
Catch me, I'm falling!  
Catch me, I'm-_

* * *

**Hello, wonderful readers! Didn't expect to see me today, did you? Well, since I will be busy and away from my computer tomorrow, I decided to be nice and post a day early. So, do I have any Next to Normal fans out there? I introduced my friend to the wonderful N2N fandom, and we spent the 10 hours that we were at school today singing "I'm Alive" and "I Am The One". (We were building/painting the set for our school musical, we wouldn't choose to wake up early to go to school on a Saturday!)**

**Anyway, I hope that you guys enjoyed the chapter, and I shall see you again next week! I'm not sure what day I'll post, because I am going to birthday parties for my cousin and my best friend (aka my "fake cousin") on Saturday and Sunday. But I will try my best to post something at a normal hour! Have an amazing week! Bye!**


	21. Chapter 20: Sectionals

After school, the Glee club had a last minute "Super-Rehearsal", as Claire had nicknamed it. She had to learn all of the choreography in a few hours, before the bus left for their Sectionals competition. Thankfully, since Claire had multiple solos, Mr. Schue kept Claire's dancing to a minimum. After two hours of non-stop practicing, the bus arrived at the school, and the Glee club piled in, carrying their costumes and makeup.

The competition was being held at a high school about 30 minutes away from McKinley, so the bus ride wasn't very long. When Claire first sat down, she checked her phone, and saw that she had a new message from Ryan.

_RYAN DAUGHTERY: No pressure or anything… but I may or may not be sitting in the front row tonight =)_

Claire smiled, and began to reply.

_CLAIRE DEVINE: Be glad I don't have stage fright, or the rest of the New Directions would be so mad at you… Wouldn't want me to mess up my solo!_

"Claire… are you texting _Ryan?_" Kurt said in a sing-songy voice. He turned to the rest of the group, some of whom were smiling because they knew who Ryan was, and explained to the few who were as up-to-date than others. "She's been texting him non-stop lately. They are so cute. Claire can't stop smiling and… Oh my gosh, she's blushing already! I think she actually talks to him more than she talks to me."

"That's not true…" The girl blushed, hiding her phone.

"Is he the guy you met at Breadstix? One of the Warblers?" Tina asked.

"Which one, Blaine said was talking to two." Santana added.

"Claire can't be dating," Brittany said. "Compared to us, she's like a baby. Babies can't date."

"Weren't you dating Wes Brody a few years ago? How old was he?" Puck asked, although he knew the answer.

"Lay off it, Puckerman." Santana retorted, putting her head on Brittany's shoulder.

By now Claire's cheeks were cherry red. "…I'm not dating him…"

"Yet." Kurt added, and practically the whole bus started giggling.

"He's coming to Sectionals, right?" Quinn said. "I want to meet him."

"I think we all do," Mercedes nodded. "We need to approve him before he gets too close to Claire."

_CLAIRE DEVINE: Warning: everyone on the bus is convinced that we are dating. And they want to meet you. Hide while you can._

_RYAN DAUGHTERY: What made them assume that?_

_CLAIRE DEVINE: The New Directions is full of relationships, and the drama that goes along with it. All of the breakups, all of the melodramatic songs that fit, even slightly, to their relationship. Two people can't be friends without suspicion that they are dating._

_RYAN DAUGHTERY: Well, are we?_

Claire didn't know how to respond to that, especially with. Blaine, who was sitting behind her, looking over her shoulder and telling people what Ryan was saying. It was not even a full minute before Blaine and others were quietly chanting "Say yes! Say yes!"

"I'm not like this with you guys!" Claire began. "I just let you guys handle your own relationships without my input!"

"Technically you just admitted to being in a relationship." Rachel called from the front of the bus.

"You know what I mean!"

"But you're different Claire, you're, like, our little sister." Blaine said.

Before Claire could think of a response, the bus parked in front of the school. The New Directions piled out of the bus, costumes in tow, and found their "dressing room". And soon enough, they found out that they were performing last. Eventually, Mr. Schue told the group to get ready behind the stage, since the Glee club performing before them were starting their last song.

From the edge of the curtain, Claire looked around the front row, looking for Ryan. As she continued to scan the first couple of rows, she couldn't find him. Instead, to Claire's surprise, she found Cody Callahan, the other boy who had talked to her the week before.

Before she could think about why Cody was in the audience, it was time for Claire to go onstage. The song that opened the set for the New Directions was a duet between Claire and Quinn. When they got their cue, they both stood in their spots, on opposite sides of the stage. Claire looked towards her duet partner, and started to get slightly nervous. Quinn could tell, because when she met Claire's glance, she smiled towards the younger girl and mouthed the words "You'll do fine".

_Playground school bell rings again_

_Rain clouds come to play again_

_Has no one told you she's not breathing?_

_Hello, I am your mind giving you someone to talk to_

_Hello_

As Quinn sang her part of the duet, Claire continued to look for Ryan. But every time, she just saw Cody. She thought back to when she was with the two boys, they seemed to be angry with each other. Claire made a mental note to ask Ryan about it sometime. She wondered if he had seen that Cody was there…

Claire was so lost in thought that she almost missed her cue. She snapped back into reality and sang the Evanescence song that had been stuck in her head for the past few days. The light completely faded from Quinn, and now was slowly getting brighter on Claire's side of the stage.

_If I smile and don't believe_

_Soon I know I'll wake from this dream_

_Don't try to fix me, I'm not broken_

_Hello I am the lie living for you so you can hide_

_Don't cry_

Claire looked towards Quinn again, hoping that she didn't look too nervous in front of the audience. For the final lines of the song, Claire stayed on the melody while Quinn added a strong harmony.

_Suddenly I know I'm not sleeping_

_Hello, I'm still here_

_All that's left of yesterday_

The audience's applause was a lot louder than Claire had expected. The rest of the girls began to fill up the stage, making two rows. The front included Quinn, Santana, and Rachel, who had the first three solos. Santana took the first verse.

_I can be a nightmare of the grandest kind  
I can withhold like it's going out of style  
I have the bravest heart that you've ever seen  
And you've never met anyone  
Who's as positive as I am sometimes.  
_

The choreography for this song was very interesting to Claire, it wasn't what she would have expected from a show choir. What happened was after each girl finished her solo, one of the boys appeared from the darkness, and had a dance duet with the girl. They danced in the back, behind the girls who have yet to sing, in faded light, so it seemed as if they were in a completely different world than the singers. The song continued, with Rachel and Quinn each taking a verse.

_You see everything, you see every part  
You see all my light and you love my dark  
You dig everything of which I'm ashamed  
There's not anything to which you can't relate  
And you're still here_

_I blame everyone else, not my own partaking_  
_My passive-aggressiveness can be devastating_  
_I'm the most gorgeous woman that you've ever known_  
_And you've never met anyone_  
_Who is as everything as I am sometimes_

As the two girls went to the back to meet their dance partners, Tina and Brittany shared this chorus, with Brittany echoing.

_You see everything (You see everything), _

_You see every part (You see every part )  
You see all my light (You see all my light) _

_And you love my dark  
You dig everything (You dig everything) _

_Of which I'm ashamed (Of which I'm ashamed)  
There's not anything (There's not anything) _

_To which you can't relate (To which you can't relate)  
And you're still here_

Mercedes sang next. Claire felt bad that Mercedes was always under Rachel Berry's shadow, although she would never say that out loud. And now, in the older girl's senior year of high school, she was still not getting the main solos. _Remember to ask Mr. Schue if Mercedes can get a solo at Regionals,_ Claire thought to herself as she listened to Mercedes' voice, and then continued to sing the chorus, with the rest of the club singing behind her.

_What I resist, persists, and speaks louder than I know_

_What I resist, you love, no matter how low or high I go_

_You see everything, you see every part  
You see all my light and you love my dark  
_

_You dig everything (You dig everything)_

_Of which I'm ashamed (Of which I'm ashamed)  
There's not anything (There's not anything)_

_To which you can't relate (To which you can't relate)_

_And you're still here…  
And you're still here..._

There seemed to be a louder applause after their second song, lasting noticeably seconds longer. Claire used this time to scan the audience, not only the first row, but any row that she could see. She kept looking for Ryan, but here glance kept bringing her back to Cody. He always seemed to be looking at _her, _not at the group as a whole. His eyes followed her when she walked across the stage, as if Claire was the one sole focus of the group. Quickly, Claire realized that if Cody kept watching her, the judges probably were as well. She closed her eyes for a moment to calm herself, and found her place for the final number.

_Stop me on the corner_

_I swear you hit me like a vision_

_I, I, I wasn't expecting_

_But who am I to tell fate where it's supposed to go with it_

_Don't you blink you might miss it_

_See we got a right to just love it or leave it_

_You find it and keep it_

_Cause it ain't every day you get the chance to say_

Claire stood next to Kurt and Quinn during this song, dancing to the choreography that Claire had to learn in less than a day. Rachel sang lead for this song, with Brittany and Tina for backup.

_Oh, this is how it starts, lightning strikes the heart  
It goes off like a gun, brighter than the sun  
Oh, we could be the stars, falling from the sky  
Shining how we want, brighter than the sun._

The next verse was sung by some of the boys, since the two previous songs were focusing on the girls.

_I've never seen it, I found this love, I'm gonna feed it  
You better believe, I'm gonna treat it better than anything I've ever had  
Cause you're so damn beautiful_

_Read it, it's signed and delivered let's seal it  
Boy we go together like peanuts and Paydays and Marley and reggae  
And everybody needs to get a chance to say_

_Everything is like a white out, cause we shook-a shook-a shine down  
Even when the, when the light's out but I can see you glow  
Got my head up in the rafters, got me happy ever after  
Never felt this way before, ain't felt this way before_

For the end of the song, the entire group sang and clapped, encouraging the audience to clap along. Claire looked out at the audience, everyone seemed to be smiling. Cody had this big smile, and Claire couldn't tell if it was a legitimate smile or not, because it looked as if Cody was faking a smile. Why he would was a question that Claire couldn't answer, but she dismissed that thought as the New Directions finished the song.

_Oh, this is how it starts, lightning strikes the heart  
It goes off like a gun, brighter than the sun  
Oh, this is how it starts, lightning strikes the heart  
It goes off like a gun, brighter than the sun  
Oh, this is how it starts, lightning strikes the heart  
It goes off like a gun, brighter than the sun  
Oh, this is how it starts, lightning strikes the heart  
It goes off like a gun, brighter than the sun_

* * *

"The winner of your 2011 Sectionals competition is…the New Directions!"

The entire group cheered, but Claire was the most ecstatic. This was her first show choir competition, and she and her friends had won. As the group laughed and grinned all the way back to their dressing room, everyone was congratulating each other.

"Claire!" The girl turned around to find Cody behind her, holding a rose. She walked over to him, partly because it would be impolite to ignore him, but also because she was hoping that she would see Ryan walking down the hallway.

"Um, hi Cody." Claire said, feeling much more awkward than she would have liked. "I saw you in the front row."

"You were great. It appears that I have some competition to prepare for before Regionals. Anyway, this is for you." He said, handing her the rose. "I heard that you met my cousin. Mitchell Thompson?"

"You're Mitchell's cousin? Yeah, I met him last week. He wanted me to submit some poems to The Lima Literary."

"Did you?"

"Not yet, I'm not sure if I really want to. Most of it is kind of personal."

"That's totally understandable. But I'm not here to talk about poetry. My dad's friend owns a recording studio, and if you ever wanted to make a demo CD or something, we could bring you over."

Claire was speechless. This was how the drama in most chick flicks started – the girl likes one guy, another guy likes the girl, and the second guy tries to win the girl over. It usually did not end well. But then again, if Cody actually thought that Claire had the talent for this, shouldn't she accept the compliment?

"I'll think about it." Claire nodded, and saw Ryan running down the hallway. Claire could see change in emotion from both of the boys – Cody looking annoyed and Ryan looking confused.

"Look, I have to go, but think about it, okay?" Cody said as he swiftly turned around and left, giving Ryan a glare as he passed him. Claire saw Ryan looking at the rose that she was holding.

"Cody gave you that?"

"Yeah." Claire said quickly, hoping to change the subject. Talking about the other boy, no matter which one she was talking to, always escalated to unspeakable awkwardness. "Where were you sitting? I thought you said you were in the front row."

"I was, but then a security guard asked me to get a new seat. Looking back, it may have been one of Cody's security guards. Was he sitting in the front row?"

"He was. He has security guards? I thought his dad owned a hotel, that's not really a dangerous business."

"That's his dad. His mother stars on a TV show, I forget which one it is. I don't really care for it. But yeah, he usually has at least one person guarding him. I'm surprised he didn't follow Cody back here. But enough about Cody. You were amazing, and although I don't have any flowers, but I was hoping that you were still up for doing something tomorrow."

"Of course, I kept my schedule free for you." Claire smiled. The Glee club was going to have a post-Sectionals party the day after the competition, but Claire opted out so she could spend the day with Ryan. Although she would never say it out loud, she really liked him. And whenever Kurt or Blaine make fun of her for texting Ryan, Claire would blush because they could tell that she liked him. Since Dalton is in Westerville, which is about two hours away, Claire was never sure about how often they would get to see each other.

"I'm glad, because then I would be staying with my cousin for no reason. He's actually going to be at work most of the day, so we could either do something there or go out somewhere. I don't know how protective Carole and Burt are about you being alone with boys."

"They haven't really had to worry about it yet, but I could probably get Kurt or Finn to drive me over." In the mirror that was on the wall, Claire could see a handful of the New Directions members peeking through the doorway, trying to hold back their giggling at the sight of their "little sister" and her crush.

"I think that you are wanted." Ryan pointed to the mass of students, back in their normal clothes but still wearing stage makeup. The glee club immediately fell back into the room after being noticed, giggling so loudly that they were heard throughout the hallway.

"I'll text you when I get home." Claire smiled, turning back to the dressing room.

Ryan stood there for a moment before he left. He knew why Cody was here tonight. And it wasn't a coincidence that Cody ended up taking Ryan's seat in the front row. Cody has basically everything that he could ever want, but when he finds something new, he will not let anyone get in the way of what he wants. Right now, what he wants is Claire. And, like it always has been, Cody will pay and spend his way to the stop. So maybe Ryan's family isn't rich. Ryan's dad owns a small diner, not a hotel. His mom is a stay-at-home mother, not a television star. His family would barely be able to pay for Dalton if it wasn't for all of the scholarships that Ryan had applied for. But Claire was going to be different than all of the other things that Cody stole from him. Ryan really cared for Claire, whereas Cody does not have the ability to care for anyone other than himself.

* * *

**Sorry for the wait! My cousin's birthday party was on Saturday, my best friend's birthday was on Sunday, and my electricity kept turning on and off over the weekend because of the hurricane, so I didn't want to risk suddenly losing a chapter because of my computer. My heart goes out to everyone that was seriously affected by it. I should be lucky that all we got over here was a couple of electricity flickers**** and ton of rain (the pool in my backyard is overflowing!). And ever since then, I have been working nonstop at memorizing my lines for the school play, which opens in 2 weeks!**

**But you guys don't really want to hear my excuses for not posting.**

**Anyway, so I'm not sure if I'm going to post this Sunday or if I'm going to gradually get back into the schedule by still posting week by week. Does that make any sense? I'm not sure. But I am really excited for the next chapter. I mean, you know that it's going to be good when the author is excited! The next chapter is Claire and Ryan's "date", and I have to admit, it's really cute. I usually don't write romance-y stories and chapters, but I just had to write this.**

***SPOILER* Ryan sings a mash-up to Claire. What songs? Well, I won't directly tell you the song/artist, but let me just say that the lyrics are _PERFECT _for their situation andI believe that it is _PERFECT FOR YOU_ readers! Kind of just gave it away, but there are tons of songs that could fit!**

**Okay, I really should finish my homework now. See you all soon, thank you for any and all reviews, and I love you all!**


	22. Chapter21: Perfect for You-Perfect to Me

"Hey, Finn." Claire said, knocking on Finn's bedroom door. "Who is your favorite cousin? You know, the one you're do anything for?"

"I'm guessing that you want me to say 'you'? What do you need, Claire?" Finn opened the door, smiling at his only cousin. Claire usually tried to avoid Finn's bedroom, since the floor was completely covered in clothes and old food containers, and Claire wasn't sure if Finn had ever actually cleaned his room. She opened the door and made her way around the piles of trash littering the floor, trying to make it known to Finn that he should vacuum in here.

"I was wondering if you could drive me somewhere. It's not that far, like, twenty minutes each way." Claire's estimate of the time was a few minutes short, and she knew that, but she hoped that it would make Finn more likely to say yes.

"Where to?"

"To Ryan's cousin's house." Claire said quickly, not knowing how Finn was going to respond. "I was going to ask Kurt, but I feel like the whole ride there and back would be him talking about how cute Ryan and I are together, and all of the usual Kurt stuff."

Finn started to laugh at this, because he knew exactly what Claire was talking about. Kurt may be planning Claire and Ryan's wedding at this exact moment, and it wouldn't be out of the ordinary. "Did you ask my mom yet?"

"Kurt's doing that right now. I was hoping that he could use the "they are young and in love" shpiel and convince her. So… can you drive me?"

Finn thought for a moment before he grabbed the keys off of the table near his bed. The two of them quietly walked down the stairs, trying to walk by silently so that no one would notice them.

"Claire!" Kurt said, somehow sensing that the two were walking behind him. She looked at Finn, who proceeded to roll his eyes. They knew that they couldn't get past Kurt, but it was worth a try. "Carole wanted to talk to you before you left."

The girl walked into the kitchen and saw her aunt sitting at the table, as if she was expecting the girl.

"Claire, I think you know what I'm going to say…" She started.

"I think so, too-"

"So I'm just going to go over the basics. I trust you, and according to Kurt, I should trust Ryan too, so my one rule for you two is to stay out of the bedrooms."

Claire's face turned bright red, blushing with embarrassment. She never actually had "the talk", but in her mind, she never imagined parents outright saying stuff like… like _that_. Claire hadn't even _thought_ about that kind of stuff yet. When it came to relationships and maturity, Claire still saw herself as a little kid.

"Carole, I wasn't even thinking about that! We're both only fourteen!"

"I know, but this family, and the Glee club, doesn't need another teen pregnancy. Or pregnancy scare, in our case."

Claire was confused for a minute, before she remembered what Kurt had told her about Quinn falsely telling Finn that he was the father of her baby. "But Quinn was-"

"Quinn was a sophomore. So was Puck. So was Finn. And that'll be you in less than a year. And I know that even if you promise me that you and Ryan won't do anything, there's no way for me to really know."

"Can't I just pinky-promise or something? I don't break pinky-promises. Those things mean business."

"You remind me of Finn when he was your age." She laughed as she got up from her seat and gave Claire a hug. "I trust you. Now go, I think that Finn is waiting in the car."

* * *

After a semi-awkward car ride, Claire found herself outside of Ryan's house. Well, technically it was Ryan's cousin's house, but for the sake of explanation, Claire told Finn and Kurt that this was the boy's house. It wasn't a very big house, one floor with probably just the basic amount of rooms, but it looked like it was probably the perfect size for Ryan's cousin and his girlfriend whom Claire had heard about.

The whole town seemed relatively small, which it was, it was less than a square mile according to Claire's online research, but seemed smaller because all of the streets were made into a grid. It wasn't very hard to find the street that the house was on, granted there were probably a total of seven streets in the entire town. In her mind, Claire memorized her way around to the house that she was now staring at.

She pressed the doorbell button and heard the faint ringing noise from the open window. Ryan opened the door, revealing the cozy furniture inside. The walls were covered in picture frames, and it seemed as if walking down the hallway would be like watching someone grow up.

"Told you I'd be here." Claire smiled as she entered the house.

"I didn't doubt you for a minute." Ryan said, reaching for a basket on the nearby kitchen table. "I had a feeling that Carole would be hesitant to let you be alone-"

"Absolutely correct."

"So I was thinking that we could go over to the park on the edge of town. It's literally three minutes, walking distance. I brought snacks."

"Sure." Claire replied, smiling at the boy. The two of them walked to the park, both of them talking about school and glee clubs. When they reached the park, Ryan found a spot under a tall tree for them to sit. He took out a package of Goldfish crackers, making Claire laugh.

"Did you know that Goldfish are made with smiles?" Ryan said seriously.

"What?" Claire laughed, taking the package and looking at the ingredients list. "Oh my gosh, they are made with smiles! How do you made something out of smiles?"

"I don't know, but either way, they are delicious."

The two of them sat in silence for a few moments, both thinking. Both knew what they had to talk about, but neither knew what the other was thinking. Claire had to tell Ryan about Marissa, she knew that she had to, but the words were jumbling in her mind. Even though it was difficult to tell her the Glee club, why was it so much harder right now? She had already done it once, why was the second time harder?

"I need to tell you something." Both of them spoke at the same time, but with different emotions. Claire's tone was much more serious than Ryan's.

"Me first, Claire. I've been wanting to tell you something for a while."

"Me too, and that's why I need to tell you first."

Claire didn't notice, but the two of them were not alone. As David had previously promised, a small group of Warblers were going to sing for Claire. Ryan could feel his phone vibrating in his pocket, probably from the other boys, wondering what to do. This is why he felt that he had to speak first. If Claire told Ryan that she didn't like him the way that he did, then what would the Warblers do? They couldn't just get up and leave, that would be too obvious.

"Ryan… please. If I don't say it now, then I don't think I ever will." Claire pleaded. Ryan saw the severity in Claire's eyes, which made him almost scared. He looked towards a certain bush and locked eyes with David, and quickly shook his head. He almost instantly felt his phone vibrate. Claire's gaze seemed to be far in the distance, so he took this opportunity to quickly sent David a text.

_DAVID: Is this song a yes or a no? What's Claire saying?_

_RYAN: No. She wants to tell me something, supposedly really serious. ABORT MISSION. DON'T LET HER SEE ANYONE._

"I've spent this whole day trying to figure out how to say this… It's so much harder to tell someone that I really care about. Because I'm not sure if it will affect how they think about me…"

"I care about you, too." Ryan looked up, noticing that, luckily, Claire was still looking away. In his peripheral vision, he saw the Warblers slowly crawl from their hiding spots into this distance. "And that's why I want to make sure that whatever is making you so upset doesn't happen again."

"You probably won't even believe some of it. I mean, I barely believe it sometimes."

"Are you going to pull a Hannah Montana situation and tell me that you're an international pop star or something? I mean, with your voice, it could be possible."

Claire smiled faintly, and she knew that as sad as she could be, Ryan always made her smile. She began to tell her story, from the very beginning to that very minute. All about Marissa, her old house, her old school, her parents… everything. All of the pain and the crying, all of the blood shed and all of the tears shed. And Ryan listened. Most people listen to Claire's life story because it seems so unreal, so abstract, that it was like they were reading a book and had to know the ending. But Ryan was different. Claire could practically see Ryan's intense thoughts, although she could not tell what exactly he was thinking.

"And that's why I went all of those days without talking to you. And why I couldn't tell you over the phone. I mean, how can you say that over a cell phone? It's like I almost need someone to be there listening… It's the same story every time, but it feels different when I tell different people." She sat in silence for a moment. "So when I said that I came to Lima for school, I was lying. I think that you knew, though. Well, not that you knew all of _that_, but…"

Ryan's eyes kept their gaze on Claire. The girl couldn't tell what those eyes were trying to express. Sadness? Sympathy?

"You can say something now. Anything. Just…please say something." Of course, like all people who Claire had told, he didn't know how to respond. Instead of speaking out loud, he gave Claire a hug. Not a normal friendly hug like they always gave each other, but a closer hug, as if his body was saying "_I am here for you_". Claire melted into him, not shedding any tears onto her cheeks. But inside, Claire was bawling. Not because of the memories, but because she had never felt anyone love her like that before. Kurt and Carole and the rest of her family… that was family love. But no, this was real, Disney-princess love.

"I love you." Ryan said, releasing himself from Claire's arms.

"No, you don't." The girl responded, as if she was trying to convince him otherwise.

"What do you mean?"

"I… I don't know. I guess I just don't get _why_ you said that. How you could mean it."

"But I do."

"I don't get it, though."

"Why?"

"Because… I just see so many reasons why no one, especially you, could love me. Ryan, you're… your practically perfect, and then there's me. I'm broken. Completely broken. There are just so many things about me that I don't know why anyone would bother trying to understand. It takes too much effort to even bother." Claire said, running her fingers through her hair.

"Claire, I'm not perfect, and neither of us have to be." Ryan stood up, taking his iPod out of his pocket. "I planned to sing something for you, with the Warblers as my backup, because I wanted it to be perfect. As you can tell, that didn't happen. We don't need to be perfect. But what I do know is that we are perfect… perfect for each other." He reached into the picnic basket and pulled out a small speaker system.

"Oh my gosh, what are you doing?"

"I still want to sing you something. It may not be what I intended, but I have been working on it for a while. I asked Kurt about your favorite singers and musicals, and I recorded a mash-up of two songs that I thought would be… _perfect_." The boy made sure to enunciate that last word.

As the sound of guitar began to surround the area, Claire's face turned bright red. "You are absolutely crazy."

"_Our planet is poison, the oceans, the air  
Around and beneath and above you,"_

"Really, Ryan?"

"_I'm trying to tell you I love you!"_

"This is insane!"

"_The world is at war  
Filled with death and disease  
We dance on the edge of destruction  
The globe's getting warmer by deadly degrees-"_

"Stop looking at me like that, I'm not going to sing along!

"_This planet is pretty much broken beyond all repair  
But one thing is working if you're standing there.  
Perfect for you, I could be perfect for you_

_But I might be perfect,_  
_I'll make myself perfect,_  
_Perfect for you._  
_You square all the corners,_  
_I straighten the curves."_

"You've got some nerve Ryan," Claire gave in, speaking the character's lyrics, not giving the satisfaction of singing along. "And I'm just all nerves."

_"But even if everything else turns to dirt  
We'll be the one thing in this world that wont hurt._

_So pretty, pretty please, don't you ever, ever feel  
__Like you're less than, less than perfect  
__Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel  
__Like you're nothing, you are perfect to me."_

By now, Claire was smiling, trying to hide her face which she knew was blushed enough to look like a red rose. She couldn't think of any words to describe Ryan right now, who had just completed completely re-enacting the scene from Next to Normal, and now was jamming out to Pink's song, never looking away from Claire.

"_You're so mean when you talk  
__About yourself. You were wrong.  
__Change the voices in your head  
__Make them like you instead.  
__So complicated,  
__Look happy, You'll make it!  
__Filled with so much hatred  
__Such a tired game  
__It's enough, I've done all I could think of  
__Chased down all my demons  
__I've seen you do the same_

_(Ohh ohhhhhhh)_

_Pretty, pretty please, don't you ever, ever feel  
__Like you're less than, less than perfect  
__Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel  
__Like you're nothing, you are perfect to me."_

Now, Ryan sat back down, leaning on the picnic basket so he was singing inches away from Claire, making the girl laugh harder than she could remember in the past few weeks.

"_The whole world's scared, so I swallow the fear  
__The only thing I should be drinking is an ice cold beer  
__So cool in line and we try try try but we try too hard  
__And it's a waste of my time.  
__Done looking for the critics, cause they're everywhere  
__They don't like my jeans, they don't get my hair  
__Exchange ourselves and we do it all the time  
__Why do we do that, why do I do that (why do I do that)?  
__Yeah!"_

Claire moved closer to Ryan, who put his arm around her. Finally giving in, Claire began to sing along, adding a harmony to Ryan's voice.

"_Pretty, pretty please, don't you ever, ever feel  
__Like you're less than, less perfect  
__Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel  
__Like you're nothing, you are perfect to me."_

The boy turned so that the two of them were looking into each other's eyes. The music stopped, but Ryan was nowhere near being done.

"Claire, I know that you may not 'get it', but I wish that I could get you to see what I see in you. I see a beautiful girl who, despite her so-called 'fears and quirks', is the most amazing, talented, and brave person that I have ever met. So… I can't fix the past… but one thing I know I can do…"

"_I can be perfect for you"_

Claire looked at the boy, whose loving eyes made her start to tear up a bit. But not from sadness like usual. From happiness. "I can be perfect for you."

"_Perfect for you."_

* * *

**That chapter was so sweet that I'm actually on a sugar-high. Or maybe it's because I've been eating _way_ too much Halloween candy! After I wrote it, I kept giggling. I just love Ryan and Claire so much...**

**So, I'm hoping that I can get the next chapter out on time. I'm actually writing it right now. The school play opens in less than two weeks, so my schedule is going to be a _little_ hectic for a while. Oh, speaking of school plays, I need the reader's opinion. I have an idea for a McKinley High musical... but I'm not sure if it would work. The last time I tried to have the New Directions put on a show, I ended up hating it and deleting it all. But I have a bit more hope with this musical... So, would you guys be interested in a WMHS musical?**

**Oh, and for anyone who is getting sick of the Next to Normal songs, I promise that I'm done with them. At least, for now. I didn't want to repeat musicals in this fic, especially not within a couple of chapters, but my friend and I have been on a N2N kick and the Natalie/Henry relationship is one of my favorites =)**

**I hope that you guys enjoyed this chapter and didn't develop any cavities because of the sweetness! But like all Glee relationships, something or someone always gets in the way... (My friend and I have been saying that I am like the female version of Ryan Murphy because I love to make character's lives difficult!)**

**Thank you for reading/reviewing! I love each and every one of you =) See you all next week!**


	23. Chapter 22: Words Unspoken

_The halls seem cold and empty without you at my side.  
Their fiery glares, their blank faces, hidden in their stride,  
Those I once knew of friends look away  
As if our past was only yesterday._

_I miss your arms, the way you made me feel,  
Like something finally was real.  
Something I did not know before.  
Something to make me love you more._

Claire instantly shut her journal as the final bell rang, making sure to get to Glee rehearsal on time, if not earlier. She had already packed her bag with all of her homework, so she quickly passed the dozens of people in the hallway. Today had been interesting, since Taryn and Hazel were still ignoring Claire. Roger was the only one who still spoke to her, and even then he told Claire not to tell the other two girls.

"I don't think that you are in the wrong as much as Taryn and Hazel believe," he had said, "but I don't think that you are completely right either."

"I just didn't know-"

"Trust me, I get it. And although they don't really want me talking to you, you're still my friend. You haven't done anything to hurt me, and Hazel shouldn't be getting involved either, for that matter. But I do know that you guys will be able to work it out."

It never occurred to Claire until this moment how safe the choir room was. There was no judgment, at least, as far as Claire could tell, and she knew that no matter how badly she screwed up, her New Directions family would still be there for her. That also showed to be a bit of an annoyance, though, because as soon as other members entered the room, they all asked about Claire's date, which Kurt had probably shared with the group. The beginning of Glee club passed by quickly, mostly congratulating about their recent win at Sectionals, and talked about future competitions and possible songs to sing. As soon as Mr. Schuester walked into the room, everyone continued to cheer.

"We were amazing at Sectionals, and if that was any indication, we are going to dominate at Regionals!" The teacher said, resulting in more applause. "But before Regionals, I have important information to tell you all. As you know, last year's production of Rocky Horror did not go as well as we would have hoped. That's why we had to delay a bit before we could have our school musical, I needed to talk to the superintendent first. But this year, we got the rights to a musical that I'm certain you all know…"

Mr. Schuester walked to the whiteboard, which was covered with a cloth. When he removed the cloth, the word FAME was written in big, bright letters. The group continued to cheer, already chattering about who they were going to audition for.

"Claire, you're going to audition, right?" Kurt said to his cousin.

"Of course I am! I know I probably won't get a big role or anything, but I've always wanted to be in Fame."

"Maybe _Ryan_ will come see it!" Tina added.

Claire laughed. "I'll make sure he does. As long as you guys promise not to torture him." Claire began to look through her bag for her planner so she could write down the audition dates, and instantly noticed that something was missing. "Where's my journal?"

"What journal?" Finn asked.

"Um… just a journal… you know, that I write in….sometimes. Maybe it's just at the bottom of my bag." Claire attempted to reassure herself, subconsciously knowing that she was making herself sound more and more suspicious with every word. She knew it wasn't in the bottom of her bag. She always kept the journal in an inner pocket of the backpack, and it more definitely was not there.

* * *

"Mitch." Cody said over his webcam. His camera was clear, but his cousin's was fuzzy around the boy's body and the microphone made a strange noise whenever sound went into it. "Can you hear me?"

"Yes, I can. Can you hear me?"

"Sort of, but I'll pretend that I can. Anyway, I talked to Claire over the weekend. I asked her if she was thinking about sending anything to your newspaper-"

"Literary magazine." Mitchell corrected. "And I don't think that you need to worry about that anymore."

"Why?" Cody watched as his cousin reached under the computer desk and pulled out an old-looking composition notebook. "Wait, is that Claire's?"

"Yeah, she left it in one of my classes. I was trying to find the name but I read a bunch of her poems and they were really good. I don't even know how she thinks of some of these. They just seem so unlike the Claire that you described to me."

"Mitch, what are you going to do with those poems?"

"I'm going to post them in the magazine!"

"_What?_"

"Anonymously! Trust me, I have it all planned out. I'll publish one of the poems, and a bunch of people will love it and write in that they want more by the poet, and then you swoop in and get her to fall in love with you."

"Mitch, that would never work! Don't be such an idiot! You give that journal back to her before she realizes that it's gone, okay?" Cody stared into the webcam, practically yelling at his cousin through the computer.

"You don't even want to hear any of them?"

"If I say yes, will you give it back? God, Mitch, you would think that for someone taking so many English classes, you would have some common sense. I mean, I'm honestly surprised that you are graduating. I always thought that we'd end up in the same grade or something."

"Says the guy who stayed back in ninth grade."

"That was because of excessive absences, not for being a completely brainless writer." Logan scoffed. "While I was off at auditions, possibly jumpstarting on my future career, you sat, and continue to sit, in your bedroom alone writing useless stories that no one wants to read."

"Fine." Mitch said blankly, staring at the floor expressionless. "I'll just give it back to her. Never mind." At that moment, Mitchell turned off the webcam and stared at the composition notebook in his hands. His fingers flipped through the pages, skimming the words and noting the dates. Finally, he found one, titled "Words Unspoken", put a bookmark on it, and decided that he would go to the library after school tomorrow.

* * *

_RYAN DAUGHTERY: Go on Skype._

_CLAIRE DEVINE: Ryan, it's almost midnight on a school night. I'm supposed to be asleep._

_RYAN DAUGHTERY: It isn't obvious that we stay up and talk every night?_

_CLAIRE DEVINE: Well, if anyone in my house knows, no one confronts me about it. But Carole does always say that I should be asleep by 10._

_RYAN DAUGHTERY: Give or take five hours._

_CLAIRE DEVINE: That's why I always message you, because messaging doesn't make any noise._

_RYAN DAUGHTERY: But I can't see your face. How do I know if it's really you?_

_CLAIRE DEVINE: You are so weird sometimes…_

_RYAN DAUGHTERY: I have an idea. Go on Skype and plug in your headphones. I'll talk and you can chat._

_CLAIRE DEVINE: I'm surprised your roommates don't hate you yet. Do they stay up all night talking to their girlfriends too?_

_RYAN DAUGHTERY: So we're officially boyfriend and girlfriend?_

_CLAIRE DEVINE: I thought we were…? Since you keep referring to me as your girlfriend._

_RYAN DAUGHTERY: I thought so too, but you never actually called me your 'boyfriend'. Now it's really official. Better post it on Facebook!_

_CLAIRE DEVINE: Sometimes I wonder if you are really the girl in this relationship…_

_RYAN DAUGHTERY: We can spend our dates painting each other's nails and braiding hair and eating ice cream and whatever girls do at sleepovers!_

_CLAIRE DEVINE: Yep, you are the girl…_

_* wants to video chat.*_

_CLAIRE DEVINE: I already said that I couldn't video chat! My computer is about to die anyway. Talk to you tomorrow._

_RYAN DAUGHTERY: Don't leave me all alone with my roommates! Bye, Claire._

* * *

The next day, during gym class, Taryn continued to ignore Claire. Despite the latter's attempts to start a conversation, she was completely dismissed. But still, Claire knew that she had to patch things up with Claire. But how? She had tried almost everything, but with no luck.

"Taryn." Claire shouted, running to the girl, hoping that maybe Taryn would turn around. "Taryn!" Still no response. It was as if she couldn't even hear Claire. Taryn's long, blonde hair bounced on her back as she continued to walk away.

"Taryn! I need to talk to you." Still nothing. Finally, Claire was done trying to be nice. Now, she could tell, Taryn was just ignoring Claire, maybe to see how the second girl would respond. "Taryn! Listen to me! I know you can hear me, so why can't you just acknowledge my existence?"

The blonde girl froze, still not turning around, but firmly spoke. "You know, people usually don't start apologies with sarcasm."

"Can't we just talk about this without making a big deal out of the situation? Can't we just talk like adults for a few minutes?"

Taryn exhaled, turning around slowly and hesitantly. "Claire, maybe we shouldn't talk like adults. I know we both have first-hand experience that adults just screw up our lives. When you're an adult… you get in trouble for saying something, and you get in trouble for staying silent. Either way, you're going to get screwed by something in life. So maybe we shouldn't talk like adults, it'll just make everything worse."

"But not all adults screw things up." Claire said quickly, partially because she was happy that Taryn was finally speaking to her. "Maybe we just got stuck with the sucky ones."

"Us and everyone else in the world."

"Well, if you think like that, nothing's going to change. If I thought that things would never get better, I never would have even thought to come to Lima."

"And I wonder how I'd be feeling right now if that happened."

"I may have deserved that." Claire sighed. "But I still think that neither of us can take total blame for what happened between us. We both… we both turned into adults too quickly."

"That does tend to cause problems, doesn't it…?"

"So that's why I had an idea. You need to get out of the house." Before Taryn could interrupt, Claire continued. "I don't know what's been going on with you lately, mostly because you've refused to talk to me, but based on this conversation alone, I don't think it's very good."

"You can say that again."

"You can say no if you want but I want you to sleep over at my house this weekend. I was like you, I thought that all adults were the cause of the world's problems, more in particular, _my_ problems. But then I moved to Lima and met some of the nicest people that I have ever had the privilege to call my family. Maybe the wrong adults for you are the ones that are in your life. Of course, you can't just get rid of your parents or anything, but-" Claire quickly pulled in her breath. "Trust me, you don't want to."

"Well, Claire, you actually loved your parents. You have good memories."

"Taryn, my parents died when I was four. Most people can't recall memories from before they were three. Most of what I know about my parents I get from pictures, or just from my imagination. If it wasn't for the few pictures that I have, I probably wouldn't even be able to remember what they look like. I've been living with Marissa for _ten years_. You can tell who I have more memories of."

"I just don't get why you didn't tell me the truth in the first place. About Marissa. Or about anything else that you haven't told me."

"Taryn, have you ever been the new kid at school?" The blonde girl shook her head. "All you want to do is make friends. And back in Boston, I felt like Marissa was the reason that I didn't have any friends. Like somehow, people knew, and that's why no one would sit with me. So here, when I had the opportunity to make friends, I just hoped that I could keep my past in the past."

The two walked in silence for a few minutes, neither knowing what to say in response. They kept glancing at each other, as if they were asking the other to say something, even just a word. But there was nothing to say. Part of Claire felt that, at this current moment, she had gone full-circle back into Taryn's silence. But at the same time, she knew that this wasn't an anger silence. It was a thoughtful silence. A silence that made them both think about where they stood at this moment in their lives.

"Claire?" Taryn said as they were about to enter the locker room. "Is your sleepover invitation still open?"

"Of course, Taryn."

* * *

_Words Unspoken_

_By Anonymous_

_There's so much I want to say, I don't know where to start.  
All I wish is that you were here to listen.  
I'm all grown up, Mom, look at me now.  
All I wish is that you could see me.  
I'm away from my nightmares, I can sleep by myself.  
All I wish is that you were still holding me.  
I am at peace now, and you are as well.  
All I wish is that we were together.  
There's so much I want to say, I don't know where to start.  
But you left before I could finish,  
Leaving so many words unspoken._

Mitchell stared at the computer screen, checking over his work. He had another reason for submitting this poem, not just his original motive. Logan could call him stupid as much as he wanted, but Mitch knew that written words had so much more power than spoken insults. Logan had been bullying Mitch since they were toddlers, and it never hurt Mitch then. It couldn't hurt Mitch now. This poem wasn't for Claire anymore, it wasn't for Logan either. It was for Mitch himself, to finally show that he could stand up to his younger cousin. It would finally be about him. No more taking the punches, it was time to finally fight back. And as much as he felt bad for Claire for being caught in the middle of their family battle, but he quickly dismissed any and all sympathy. Life was going to be about Mitch Thompson now, and nothing was going to get in his way.

He became practically bloodthirsty in his ambitions. He immediately added the poem to the newest issue of the magazine, inside of a blue and gray text box on the second page, right after the table of contents. Although the issue was not scheduled to be printed for another few days, he made sure to print out two copies. As the papers fed though the printer, Mitch's friendly smile turned into a huge, vicious grin. He took two pieces of scrap notebook paper and wrote individualized letters on both, stapled them to the copies, and gave a look of utter satisfaction to his newest work.


	24. Chapter 23: A Match, A Fuse, A Spotlight

"Claire, we have some good news and some bad news. Which one do you want to hear first?" Burt said as he sat down at the kitchen table, motioning to Claire to sit as well.

"I guess the good news?"

"The good news is that investigators can prove that Marissa isn't in Lima anymore, or anywhere in Ohio. She checked into a hotel just inside the Maryland border a few days ago, and she seems to be moving her way back to Boston."

"And the bad news?"

"They don't know exactly where she is, and they never will know. My friend is one of the investigators on the team, they are trying to search for her so that she can be tried for child abuse, neglect-"

"So she could be anywhere?" Claire interrupted, her voice getting softer. "What am I supposed to do?"

Burt sighed. "Ideally, they would want you to speak at the trial." He noticed how Claire looked uncomfortable. "And we all understand that you don't want to see her, so that will be the last resort. Would you be willing to make a video, though?"

"About…?"

"Basically, our lawyer will ask you questions about Marissa. Think of it as almost an interview. Claire, we want Marissa to be punished for everything that she did to you. If you really don't want to speak at the trial, we can just make the video and-"

"I'll make the video. I don't think I'm ready to see her again."

* * *

"My life is just spinning right now…" Claire said over Skype as she did her homework. She and Ryan would always video chat each other, even if they had homework to do. "And it's like, soon it's all going to halt and I'll fall. Hey, who wrote _Ethan Frome_, again?"

"Edith Wharton." Ryan replied, attempting to solve his math homework. "That was a pretty poetic metaphor about a crazy life. At least it's almost winter vacation, so you can just relax for a week."

"I hope so. Almost all of my teachers have already hinted about projects that will be due when we come back. I try to focus on one thing, but then something else gets in the way. It's always like that."

"Well, what are you trying to focus on now?"

"Fame auditions. Keeping my grades up. And now Burt just told me that Marissa is M.I.A and I may have to see her." She started tapping her pencil. As much as she tried, she couldn't work on homework. Every time she tried to look at the words, they all just got jumbled until Claire wasn't even sure if she was doing English or French. _This is hopeless_, Claire thought to herself as she put her books away. Now, she could focus on Ryan, without any other distractions.

"They don't know where she is?"

"Earlier this week she was at a hotel in Maryland. How she gets around so fast is beyond me, she doesn't know how drive. Not to mention that she's probably too drunk to know what bus to get on."

"If they do find her, then what'll happen?"

"I honestly don't know. Burt wants a court trial, something to cut her from being my guardian. I just want to forget it all. I _don't _want to see her again, and everyone knows that. Yet, somehow, she always seems to snake back into my life. That's what she is, a snake. Terrifying, the slightest wrong touch can set her off and soon you'll be stuck with her venom in your veins."

"You should write poetry. You seem to speak in metaphors and other poetic devices."

"Actually, I do, sometimes. It's never very good, though." Claire got up from her desk and moved to her bed. She knew that he would ask if he could hear a poem or two, and he would say how great it was. Does anyone actually say 'That was really bad' after hearing someone's work? She reached under her bed and felt around for her journal. _Shoot, it's still missing._ "I'll read you some another time."

"_Ryan, are you still talking to your girlfriend?"_ Claire could hear Ryan's roommate close the door. _"David is holding an impromptu Warbler's meeting, and we're already late."_

"_I swear," _Another boy said, his voice more quiet and muffled. _"They are always talking to each other. It's like they're the match made in heaven or something."_

Claire could see that Ryan was contemplating whether he should continue to video chat with Claire or leave, so Claire motioned for him to go. "I'll still be here when you come back."

"Okay, I'll talk to you in an hour or so. Bye, Claire."

"See you soon." She said with a smile as she ended the call and closed her laptop. Even when things in life were rapidly changing, it was a comfort to know that Claire always had someone to rely on.

* * *

The next day, Claire found a collection of papers folded and placed between the slats. As she pulled the papers out, she realized that this wasn't just any paper… this was a magazine. More specifically, The Lima Literary.

At first, confusion filled Claire's mind. Maybe it was another attempt to try to get Claire to submit her poetry?

Poetry.

Her journal.

Frantically, she began to flip through the thin papers, glancing at titles and author's names. She had almost reached the end, finally feeling relieved, until she reached the last page.

_EDITOR'S NOTE:_

_I added this poem to the magazine, even though the author was hesitant about submitting it. Send in your comments about it, and hopefully we can prove that she should submit more of her poetry!_

_- Mitchell_

"No." Claire whispered to herself as she desperately skimmed the poem, hoping that maybe it wasn't hers. "No, no, no, no, no."

_Words Unspoken  
__By Anonymous_

Just by looking at the title, Claire knew that Mitchell had stolen her journal. As much as she wanted to throw away the magazine, something inside of her made her begin to read.

_There's so much I want to say, I don't know where to start.  
All I wish is that you were here to listen.  
I'm all grown up, Mom, look at me now.  
All I wish is that you could see me.  
I'm away from my nightmares, I can sleep by myself.  
All I wish is that you were still holding me.  
I am at peace now, and you are as well.  
All I wish is that we were together.  
There's so much I want to say, I don't know where to start._

"_But you left before I could finish… leaving so many words_…" Claire couldn't finish the poem, she couldn't even say the last word. She took the magazine and ripped it into tiny pieces as she stormed through the hallway. She knew where Mitchell was, he always was in Room 118, where the Newspaper Club met. The shreds of paper created a trail that followed Claire down the maze of lockers and classrooms until she finally reached her destination.

"Give me my journal!" She screamed at Mitchell, throwing the remnants of the magazine in his face. "Why would you do that to me?"

Mitchell looked up from his computer, looking bored and unimpressed. Claire stared him down, and realized that her journal was on the desk, next to the keyboard. He was typing another of Claire's poems for the next issue.

"Good morning to you as well, Claire." He said calmly, picking up the destroyed magazine. "I see that you saw your poem. It was great. They all are."

"Those poems were mine, and you had no right to read them."

"This was the only way for me to get you to publish them."

"Maybe I didn't want them published! Have you ever thought about that? Have you thought about how _I_ felt about all of this? I don't have time to worry about who is reading my private work!"

"This is just the way it has to be, Claire."

"How are you so calm about this, do you have the capability to possess emotion? What makes you so freaking special that you can steal just to get your way?"

Mitchell slammed her journal against the desk and stood up so he was looking down at her. It wasn't until this moment that Claire realized that Mitch was a good three or four inches taller than she was. "Maybe it's _you_ who's 'so freaking special."

"What do you mean? I'm anything but special! You don't know anything about my life or what I've been through!"

"But do you want to know what I do know? I know that you just came here to Lima, expecting a new life, and everyone just magically seems to love you! Look, everyone, little Claire ran away from her problems and now she lives in a little ClaireTopia. You have a million friends and a nice family and everything is all "Claire this, Claire that"! _That's _why I stole your journal, because no one has a little Cinderella life without hiding something. You act like you're the only one that has problems. _We all have problems, Claire!_"

"I don't live in a ClaireTopia, my life sucks just as much as everyone else's, and I never said anything different than that. What the hell am I hiding that you couldn't just _ask_ me about? I know we all have problems, but I'm not an idiot like you who goes off into a jealous rage every time someone is happy!"

"If you don't submit more poems for the magazine… I'll tell Ryan."

"Tell Ryan what? He knows everything about me, and a heck of a lot more than you do."

"No, I'll tell him about you and Cody."

Claire took a step forward so she was looking him right in the eye. "I don't know where in that messed up brain of yours that you got any idea about Cody and I, because we didn't-"

"There's no proof that you didn't. Here's your journal, I expect a poem by Friday." Claire took the journal, slowly stepping back, away from the boy who caused another shift in Claire's reality.

* * *

"Claire, I'm in class, what is it?" Ryan whispered as he walked through one of Dalton's hallways. Luckily, he had a substitute teacher in this class (which was an uncommon occurrence at Dalton) who let him leave with a hall pass, but he had to quickly move through the hallways to avoid getting caught using his cell phone. "Shouldn't you be at school, too?"

"I don't have time to explain now," Claire whispered from a stall in the girl's bathroom, knowing that Mitch wouldn't be able to spy on her there. "I'm being blackmailed by Mitchell Thompson. You know, Cody's cousin. Listen, he's threatening to spread a rumor about Cody and me if I don't submit poems to his literary magazine. It's beyond stupid, I know, but I just wanted to warn you so if you hear anything then you won't believe it. I freaking hate him right now."

Ryan was quiet for a minute. "Which one, Mitch or Cody?"

"Well, Mitch, obviously. Why would I-"

"Because, Cody hates me. We don't get along. And I've told you, he's willing to do anything to get his way. It wouldn't surprise me if he was behind all of this."

"I really don't think so, you should have seen Mitch this morning."

"I'm kind of glad I didn't." Ryan let out an annoyed sigh. "Thanks for telling me, though. I can add this to the list of things that Cody has done in attempt to ruin my life."

"Ryan, I'm sorry! Don't blame Cody for this-"

"Don't take his side, Claire. Please."

"I'm not taking his… We should probably go. Just don't believe a thing Cody says."

"Already done." He hung up, leaving Claire staring at her phone. She didn't know what to expect out of that phone call, but that was definitely not how she wanted it to end. Part of her wanted to call Ryan back, to reword what she had said or to not say it at all, but it was all said and done now. Now she just had to wait and see whether this fuse would simmer or ignite.

* * *

Throughout the school day, Claire's mind was thinking about everything other than class. Her mind was in a million places, but she had to focus on her audition. She still hadn't decided what song she would sing, which was probably one of the biggest audition mistakes. Should she audition with something from that musical? A song with a similar style? She made sure that her name was near the bottom of the sign-up sheet so that she could see what other people were singing. As she stuffed her books into her backpack, she knew that she wouldn't have much time for homework tonight. Maybe, in the darkness of the auditorium, she could do some homework then.

When she reached the auditorium, almost everybody was already seated. Most of the students were in Glee club, but there were also a lot of people that Claire didn't, or barely, recognize. Some of the other freshman were in her classes, but Claire had almost never spoken to most of them. Quinn's voice brought her out of her thoughts.

"Claire! We were wondering when you'd get here." The older girl pulled Claire to where the rest of the Glee club was sitting. Most of the students were gathered in their own social circles, but the Glee club took up a big section near the front. _To the other students, this must seem really intimidating_, Claire thought.

"Welcome, everyone, and thank you in advance for auditioning!" Mr. Schuester right as Claire sat down, as if he was waiting for her. "As some of you may know, I'm Mr. Schuester," – the Glee club cheered – "I will be directing the musical. Today's auditions are going to be all about singing, and acting a character within the song. It doesn't have to be from a musical, but we want to see how well you can act out a song. During callbacks, which will probably be early next week, we'll practice the dance portion of auditions. Fame will have some difficult choreography, but you have plenty of people here to help you."

Blaine lightly tapped Claire's shoulder. "You decided on an audition song?"

"Um, yeah." The girl lied, turning back to the director.

"We're going to switch things up a bit. We're not going to go down the sign-up sheet in order. First, is there anyone who has to leave early today?" No one raised their hands. "Good, let's start with… Claire Devine."

Claire froze, and whispered softly to whoever was listening. "I haven't picked a song yet." She could see Rachel roll her eyes in her peripheral vision.

"Pick something from a musical." Quinn whispered back. "Not a common one, like everyone else is going to. But pick something unique, something you can act. Or maybe something in a similar style."

Claire nodded as she walked up to the stage. Somehow, this was much more nerve-racking than Sectionals, even though there were barely 50 people in the auditorium.

"Hi, I'm Claire Devine, and I'll be singing…"Her brain rapidly searched for a song. Claire instantly regretted not practicing, since she knows how her brain can crack under pressure. _What song should I do? Something from a musical? God, why can't I think of any musicals? Calm down, Claire, just pick a song, any song… Oh my gosh, they're all staring at me. Well, what do I know that no one else will probably sing?_ "'Come to Your Senses' from Tick Tick Boom." She saw some of the Glee club members smiling. She turned to the pianist, Brad. "Do you know that song?" He nodded silently, with a bit of agitation in his eyes. Sometimes Claire wondered if Brad even _liked_ playing piano for the Glee club, which is why Claire always went out of her way to start a conversation with Brad.

"_You're on the air, I'm underground  
Signal's fading, can't be found  
I finally open up  
For you I would do anything  
But you've turned off the volume  
Just when I've begun to sing…"_

She looked around, scanning the audience for familiar faces. She saw Kurt and Blaine smiling at her. Quinn gave a thumbs-up. She wasn't even consciously singing anymore, her mind was racing and her lips just happened to be creating the right sound.

"_Come to your senses  
Defenses are not the way to go  
And you know, or at least you knew  
Everything's strange, you've changed  
And I don't know what to do to get through  
I don't know what to do."_

Claire hated auditions. She really did. Auditions were about exposing yourself, about being true to who you were. Claire could never find a song that completely expressed how she felt at any given moment. But somehow, she just kept on singing.

"_I have to laugh  
You sure put on a show  
Love is passe in this day and age  
How can we expect it to grow?_

_You as the knight_  
_Me as the queen_  
_All I've got tonight_  
_Is static on a screen._

_Come to your senses_  
_The fences inside are not for real_  
_If we feel as we did, and I do_

_Can't you recall when this all began_  
_It was only you and me_  
_It was only me and you._

_But now the air is  
Filled with confusion  
We replace care with illusion_

_It's cool to be cold_  
_Nothing lasts anymore_  
_Love becomes disposable_  
_This is the shape of things_  
_We cannot ignore…"_

In the darkness, Claire seemed to see Ryan's face. She knew he wasn't really there, but it reminded her of when she was little, when all of the lights were out and she was trying to fall asleep, and her eyes would start to create pictures in the dark. Sometimes it was a pretty design; sometimes it was a flash of unsaturated color. But sometimes, the darkness would create a face. She used to see her parents sometimes, as if they were watching over her and keeping her safe and calm in the scary nights. Maybe that's what Claire's imagination was doing now, making a mental image of someone who kept her calm and safe.

"_Come to your senses  
Suspense is fine if your just an  
Empty image emanating out  
Of a screen_

_Baby be real, you can feel again_  
_You don't need a music box melody_  
_To know what I mean_

_Deep in my eyes, what do you see_  
_Deep in my sighs, listen to me_  
_Let the music commence from inside_  
_Not only one sense, but use all five_

_Come to your senses_  
_Come to your senses_  
_Come to your senses_  
_Baby come back_  
_Alive!"_

As the song finished, her friends began cheering loudly, bringing Claire out of her thoughts. She didn't hear anything but applause until she was back in her seat, smiling at the other Glee club members. When she was finally back in reality, she looked at the stage and saw someone on stage that she did not expect. As the girl spoke, she was looking directly at Claire.

"Hello, my name is Taryn Landford, and I'll be singing 'I'm Only Me When I'm With You' by Taylor Swift."

* * *

**I really didn't mean to leave this for a month! I'm sorry! I mean, I can explain missing one week's update, but _four_ weeks? I hope you all haven't forgotten about me...**

**Well, I'm trying to write this, plus my other stories, so I really can't promise a certain day for an update (apparently I can't promise a month, either!) but I really want to thank each and every one of you for sticking with me. This time last year, I was writing this fanfiction, too afraid of criticism to post this online. But those of you who reviewed this, and added it to your favorites, it made me feel so happy that someone actually _liked_ what this small-town teenage girl wrote. I've never really had that before. So, thank you all for everything, and let's make my New Year's Resolution to update more often! =)**


	25. Chapter 24: Hard Work, Part 1

_Mr. Schue should have sent out the cast list by now, it feels like it's been months since the auditions!_ Claire thought to herself as she continued to refresh her email. She could feel the heat of the computer fan getting hotter and hotter on her leg, and hoped that it wouldn't overheat. She didn't want to miss the exact moment that the cast list was sent out, and she wanted to be one of the first to know who would be playing each role.

"Claire, he's going to send out the cast list eventually, you don't need to sit at your computer all day." Kurt said, laying on Claire's bed and staring at the ceiling. "Are you usually this impatient?"

"I'm just so excited." Claire replied, not letting herself take her eyes off of the computer screen. "I'm actually more excited to see what roles you all get. I mean, I know I'm just a freshman so I won't be getting a big role, I'll probably just get ensemble or something. But I already think I know who will be playing who…"

"All I know is that Mercedes is playing Mabel. She already told me that she knows she'll play her."

"Kurt! Just because Mabel is supposed to be the overweight dancer-"

"Actually, Mercedes volunteered." Kurt interrupted. "She really wanted to do something with 'Mabel's Prayer'. Did I ever show you her singing 'Sweet Transvestite' when we did Rocky Horror last year? Kind of like that. Mr. Schue already heard it and-"

"CAST LIST!" Claire shouted, practically falling out of the desk chair that she was spinning in. "Oh my gosh, Kurt! THE CAST LIST. THE. CAST. LIST. IS. UP."

"Well," Kurt began, getting up from the computer. "I'm glad that Mr. Schue decided to email the list instead of posting it in school. People would hear you screaming and probably want to quit the play based solely on your craziness."

Claire shushed him, as if silence would make the revealing of the cast more exciting. She took a deep breath to calm herself, clicked the email and, to her excitement, she began to read the list.

_**CAST:**__  
__Schlomo Metzenbaum - Kurt Hummel__  
__Carmen Diaz - Santana Lopez__  
__Tyrone Jackson - Mike Chang__  
__Nick Piazza - Blaine Anderson__  
__Serena Katz - Rachel Berry__  
__Mabel Washington - Mercedes Jones__  
__Iris Kelly - Brittany Pierce__  
__Grace "Lambchops" Lamb - Claire Devine__  
__Jose "Joe" Vegas - Noah Puckerman__  
__Goodman "Goody" King - Finn Hudson__  
__Ms. Esther Sherman- Tina Cohen-Chang__  
__Ms. Greta Bell - Quinn Fabray__  
__Mr. Meyers - Artie Abrams__  
__Mr. Sheinkopf - Sam Evans_

_**ENSEMBLE:  
**__Dominic Blackburn, Cara Curtis, Lexie Daniels, Mackenzie Duarte, Kayli Ellis, Damian Fowler, Hayden Morganelli, Kendall O'Connor, Paige Quinlan, Madeleine Ross, Shayla Westfield, Melodie Willingham, Taryn Landford_

"Kurt, you're one of the leads! That's amazing!" Claire exclaimed, reading and rereading the list of names. "I need to go call Taryn! And Blaine! And Quinn! I need to call everyone!"

"Claire, really-" Kurt started, but it was no use. He loved seeing Claire so excited, especially because she seemed to have changed over the past few weeks. Suddenly more private and introverted. Of course, all of that insecurity left during Glee Club, but it all came back the minute she left the choir room doors. And the rest of the family could see it too. Her grades were slipping, she was losing sleep, and it was an unspoken worry between everyone that adding Fame rehearsals could either help or hurt Claire's mental health. But no one said anything, they all just hoped for the best.

Kurt looked at the opened email that Claire forgot to close when she left to call her friends. His name was the first on the list… And as much as he worried about his cousin, he couldn't help but feel satisfaction in his role. He put his fears out of his mind, and thought to himself. _You, Kurt Hummel, are an amazing person._

* * *

Walking into the auditorium, Claire's mind was brought back to the auditions. _The difference now is, I have a role. A real role. Not just ensemble. Which I would have totally been okay with but… I have a real role._

"Claire!" Mr. Schue called from the front of the room. "Come here, I need to introduce you to someone."

She tried to remain calm as she walked to the piano where Mr. Schuester was standing, but anyone could see that she had a spring of excitement in her step. "You wanted to see me?" He was standing next to Ms. Pillsbury (not an uncommon sight), and a younger girl who looked like she was probably in college. Besides looking younger, she looked very similar to Ms. Pillsbury, with the red hair and big eyes.

"Claire," Ms. Pillsbury said. "This is my niece, Kirsten. She's going to be the choreographer for the musical, and I wanted to introduce her so that she'll at least know a couple of people when rehearsals start."

"Hi," the two girls said at the same time, smiling. Kirsten didn't look much older than a high school student, with her big brown eyes and huge smile, but Claire had overheard Mr. Schue ask her about what she was doing now that she had graduated at NYU the previous school year.

"Claire, we also wanted to talk to you about something else." Mr. Schue said. "We were wondering of you would want to sing backup for Mercedes' song, Mabel's Prayer. Kurt told me that you already know it."

"Of course, I'd love to!"

"We're going to have some of the other freshman sing it too, but we want you to really prove your leadership skills here. Although we have student directors and assistants already, soon the kids in the Glee club are going to be graduating and going off to college. So if you can, try to get the other underclassmen involved, so that maybe we can extend New Directions and make it into as big of a club as it was when I was a student here. That's my goal."

"Sure! I'll be like a Glee Club ambassador or something!" Claire replied with a huge smile. "Who else is a freshman? I can introduce myself now."

Ms. Pillsbury rejoined the conversation and showed Claire the cast list. "All of the seniors who are in the musical are in Glee club, so you know them. We have four juniors who aren't in Glee Club, four sophomores, and four other freshmen. They'll be singing 'Mabel's Prayer' with you. But we were actually just about to start, but I know you'll learn everyone's names quickly."

* * *

"We're going to start with a little activity." Ms. Pillsbury said, motioning everyone in the cast to come onto the stage. "Kirsten told me that she did this in her high school's drama club. So, Kirsten, the floor is yours."

The younger redhead stood up and paced inside of the circle of students. "Hi, everyone. I'm Kirsten, for those of you who didn't catch my name before. I'm going to be choreographing the show, and don't worry, I promise not to make it too difficult." She smiled and continued. "When I was a sophomore in high school, we did a serious show for our fall play, and it was amazing. We would look out into the audience and see people crying. And although we definitely don't want people to start sobbing during Fame, I think that one of the reasons that we were so powerful is because we worked as a team. And our director, she did this thing at our very first rehearsal, and it really brought everyone together. So, can everyone stand up in a straight line for me?"

As the students got into a line, Kirsten pulled out a yellow notebook. "On this piece of paper, I wrote down a bunch of things, like if you have very been out of the country, favorite subject in school, stuff like that. But I also wrote deeper things, more emotional, that we'll get to later. So, let's start off with the easy stuff. If I say something that applies to you, take a step forward, and I'll tell you when to get back in line. First one is the easiest: take a step forward if you are a student at McKinley High."

Every student stepped forward. The number of people stepping forward got less and less as Kirsten continued, with statements like "Step forward if you have traveled to another continent" and "Step forward if you can recite the alphabet backwards". Then, it started to get more emotional. People hesitated as they stepped forward, not as if they were ashamed, but more nervous about whether others could relate."

"Step forward if you have ever heard a rumor being spread about you."

"Step forward if you have ever been called an insulting name."

"Step forward if you have ever been bullied because of your gender, sexuality, religion, or race."

Statement after statement, Claire could already feel herself mentally and emotionally bonding with the rest of the cast. There was a moment of silence, and then Kirsten continued.

"Step forward if, after this activity, you feel as if you are already closer to the cast who, fifteen minutes ago, was full of strangers."

Every person stepped forward.

"I'm glad, because I ran out of things to say. I can already tell that this is an amazing cast, and that is going to lead to an amazing show. But…" Kirsten dragged out, motioning back to Mr. Schue. "We can't do that without reading through the script! So, Mr. Schue, you can take it from here!"

* * *

_CLAIRE DEVINE: Ryan, are you online?_

No reply. Ever since the whole journal incident, Claire and Ryan had barely spoken, besides the occasional one-word text back and forth.

_CLAIRE DEVINE: Ryan, are you mad at me? It's been days since we've really talked, maybe even weeks by now…_

Claire had spent this whole time convincing herself that Ryan was overreacting. He accused her of taking Cody's side over his, and that wasn't fair. She was just trying to warn him about Mitch blackmailing her.

_CLAIRE DEVINE:_ _I wasn't trying to take anyone's side besides yours… I promise._

Suddenly, the little "Read" message popped up, showing that Ryan was reading the messages. But he didn't respond. He was obviously ignoring her.

_CLAIRE DEVINE: Hey, if you are seeing this, call me on Skype._

After a couple of minutes of waiting, Claire was about to log off, until a pop-up box appeared on the screen.

_VIDEO CHAT FROM RYAN DAUGHTERY._

"Hey, I need to-" They both said at the same time, not even waiting a second for their web cameras to fully load.

"Me first." Claire said. "I just wanted to say-"

"No, me first, because I know what you are going to say." Ryan replied, sighing as he ran his fingers through his hair. "And I know what I want to say too. But I didn't know how to put it into words, so…" He got out of his desk chair and came back with a guitar.

"Ryan, I-"

"And I also know that, as performers, when we don't know how to say something, we put it into music. Because when you put something to music, even the most random string of words can sound like art. I mean, have you heard half the stuff on the radio lately? So, anyway, I want to put all of this past us, because I realized that, as difficult as it is trying to act civil around Cody… it's even more difficult to be angry at you. So, as long as you want to, I just want to put this in the past, because we are stronger than anything that Cody or Mitch could use against you. I know that you know this song, but I chose this one because of the lyrics so… don't say, just listen, okay?"

"Okay." Claire said, closing her eyes and letting her ears soak in the sound of Ryan's guitar, even though the sound was a bit warped from the low internet reception.

_Welcome to the planet_

_Welcome to existence_

_Everyone's here_

_Everyone's here_

_Everybody's watching you now_

_Everybody waits for you now_

_What happens next_

_What happens next_

_I dare you to move_

_I dare you to move_

_I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor_

_I dare you to move_

_I dare you to move_

_Like today never happened_

_Today never happened before_

_Welcome to the fallout_

_Welcome to resistance_

_The tension is here_

_Tension is here_

_Between who you are and who you could be_

_Between how it is and how it should be_

_Maybe redemption has stories to tell_

_Maybe forgiveness is right where you fell_

_Where can you run to escape from yourself?_

_Where you gonna go?_

_Where you gonna go?_

_Salvation is here_

Ryan knew that Claire listened to this song on an almost-daily basis, but he made it his goal to have Claire see the lyrics a different way. Yes, it showed that he wants to pretend that the whole fight didn't happen, and that even though they may go through hard times in the future, they have to keep working at their relationship, or it will never work out. But at the same time, he had a subconscious ulterior motive, a message that he found in this song that he was hoping that Claire might pick up on: that he was the one who was always by her side and led her on the right path. He was the one who Claire vented to. Not Cody. Not Mitch. So pretend like they don't exist. It'll be tough, but they can make it work.

_I dare you to move_

_I dare you to move_

_I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor_

_I dare you to move_

_I dare you to move_

_Like today never happened_

_Today never happened_

_Today never happened_

_Today never happened before_

* * *

**OHHHHHHH MY GOODNESS, IT'S BEEN OVER 5 MONTHS. I HONESTLY CAN'T EVEN EXPLAIN THAT. I CAN SAY THAT I HAVE BEEN IN 3 MUSICALS, BEEN WORKING REALLY HARD TO DO WELL IN SCHOOL, AND KEEP MY MENTAL SANITY AFTER A BUNCH OF STUFF HAPPENED, BUT I REALLY CAN'T DO THAT. I mean, yes, all writers have that time when they take a break from writing but... this was close to almost half a year of writer's block. Again, I can't even explain.**

**On the bright side, I have been making little notes on my phone about where I want this story to go. You know, I have been trying to update this story, but nothing seemed to fit right. It wasn't until today when it suddenly all came to me. (Sammi Story Time!)**

**Yesterday was the final performance of the year for my school's drama department, and you guys should have seen me, I was a mess. So many of my friends, my mentors, they are all graduating. And it occurred to me that soon, that'll be me leaving the department, what has become my closest family. That whole activity that Claire and the rest of the cast did? True event, and that is honestly what made me become so close to the other people in my cast at school. So I wanted to give Claire that same sort of experience. I kind of got a bit emotional, though, so I didn't go into as much detail as I wanted to.**

**Speaking of real life drama department, let's all take a moment to congratulate my friend Kirsten (TrueAngelOfMusic1) on being the most amazing Glinda that we could have asked for :) (And I may or may not be saying this because we decided to add each other as a character to our fanfics. There you go, Kirsten, a character and a compliment! I can only wonder what you have in store... :D )**

**Anyway, thank you all for putting up with me as I went MIA for the past few months. I really do appreciate everyone who reads and reviews. I know I'll regret doing this, but I PROMISE that I will update soon. (That's why I made this a multi-part chapter, I force myself to finish it!)**

**Again, thank you to everyone, you all mean so much to me :)**


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